Monthly Archives: June 2016

Crossroads

Loving Self, , , , , , ,

wherewithmanWhen you get to the fork in the road take it! (Tessin)

When I first heard this statement, I was confused on its meaning. However, the more I pondered this saying, the more the meaning began to unfold. I believe it means to choose to go to the left or the right, but do not stand stagnant or stationary considering which way to go. Make a decision! Now, you might have a different idea about the meaning, but for me, the central point of the saying is to avoid procrastination.

How many times do we put off for tomorrow, something we could do today? How many of us begin a new diet on Monday, then fall off the diet on Tuesday? How many of us put off saving money, pursuing our passions for tomorrow, instead of working today to meet our goals. It’s easy to put off doing things for tomorrow, but, for many, tomorrow never comes.

Today, now, as you are reading this blog is all the time you/I have promised. Tomorrow is not promised is a popular saying. However, not even the next moment is promised; life is one breath, one second, one step at a time. As we hear the news about the tragedies rampantly destroying the lives of many of our neighbors, none, at least most, I would dare to say, received a text message letting them know of their imminent demise.   Many fathers, moms, children, sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts leave in the morning as part of their daily routine; yet, many do not return home. Police officers, firefighters, victims of police brutality,  others forms of violence, teachers, doctors, etc. are literally called daily to stand before their Maker. On a lighter note, many who plan on finishing school, going on a vacation, calling/visiting a love one, starting a new business or hobby, never realize their goals, because their tomorrow never comes.

My point, while you have today…do today.  Tell someone you love them. Start that diet/exercise regimen and stick to it. If you are working an online business, today and each day, work on your business. Contact your team and encourage them to remain faithful in their efforts to change their personal financial landscape and that of others on their team.  Encourage yourself to take charge of your business, and do not wait for your up-line or today is the daydown-line to help you get started. Do it yourself.  If you need to call, email or text those on your list, do it while it is today, instead of putting it off for tomorrow.  Whatever you are putting off for tomorrow and you can do it today…then be encouraged to do it today.

Remember, when you get to the crossroads, pick up the fork and take it. Today is your day!

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Anger’s Fury

Health and Wellness, Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , , , ,

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22anger and coffee

Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division.  Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder.  Anger affects every cell in the body.

Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.

The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on othanger collageers as well.

Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?

We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities.  Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”.  As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.

Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.

I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Sizzling or Soothing… Words Speak

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , ,

talking megaphoneWe all know how powerfully words affect our world view, our attitude and how we think of others and ourselves. Do you remember the kiddy rhyme: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Yeah, right! This is one of the biggest and most destructive lies ever told to children! The intention of the saying may be honorable in an effort to get children to ignore evil, negative and disgusting comments. However, the creative force behind negative words pierce the very soul and spirit of the person on the receiving end.

How many of you can remember being called outside-of-your name? How many can remember being called ugly, fat, loser, poser, bit–, mother f—–? How about n—–, fa—- or bast—? How about someone condemning you to the pit of hell for adultery, an abortion, cheating on a spouse, filing bankruptcy, lying etc.? Have you ever experienced condemnation, hatred, bigotry, put-downs, abuses and other evils, because of that little rudder in someone’s mouth? If you have not experienced any of the above or worst, you are truly either blessed or living outside of the human experience.

Anyone who has been at the receiving end of a bully’s furious spewing knows that negative words are a destructive force like a double-edged sword ripping flesh apart. I would think, many of us know better than to repeat the old adage about sticks and stones, but more importantly, we do not seem to fully grasp the power of  words. So, why do we repeat sayings we know are false? Why do we deceive ourselves with seemingly comforting words, which instead burn unseen scars upon our souls? Why do many of us persist in the deception that words cannot and do not harm?

man speaking pointingThe biblical principle in James 3:1-12 vividly outlines the might and power of words. Words can create positive, encouraging and loving environments or destructive, damaging or negative environments whether spiritual or physical. The reality of destructive language is obvious, yet somehow we continually dismiss the influence of words.

Destructive language reaches beyond being on the receiving end of a bully. We often times bully or torment ourselves based on our circumstances, self-hatred and more. We speak evil of ourselves to ourselves and others. We compare ourselves to others and spew self-destructive thoughts inwardly and outwardly denying the very glory we have been innately given. We listen and believe lies, instead of the truth about how much we are loved and longed for by the Creator.

Whether it is personal, social or political, we are daily bombarded by negative words meant to kill, steal and destroy our very souls. However, we can choose to be part of the negativity, or we can choose to make a positive difference. We can choose to listen to voices of evil, or we can choose to shut the voices down. We can choose to think of ourselves in mediocre or vile ways; or we can choose to love ourselves, and thus inevitably, we will demonstrate love for others. Clearly, words are powerful and affect us. It is our choice to either speak words of love or words of hatred.

Are your words sizzling and negatively destructive or are your words soothing and positively uplifting? Do your words make others laugh, smile, frown or cry?  Do others cringe at the sound of your voice? Or, do others welcome your loving input into their lives and the lives of others?

black woman smiling

You make the choice each time you speak.

DocsMusings!

Dr. Dee

 

86 Loving Ways to Care

Relationships, , , , , , ,

love goggleHappy and loving marriages require loving and positive actions. Most woman, I would imagine want to enjoy their husbands! Who want to toil in an arduous relationship? The answer is obvious! In relationships, especially marriages, there are many ways to encourage your husband, which will build him up and contribute to a happier life together. It is my contention that a loving wife can easily encourage her husband. A wife’s approval is powerfully vital, and applying the following steps consistently will make a positive difference in your marriage. Listed below are just 86 ways to inspire and encourage your spouse.

  1. Communicate with him respectfully
  2. Respond to him gently
  3. Let him know how important he is to you
  4. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree
  5. Let go of the small stuff
  6. Ask for his help
  7. Let him help and protect you
  8. Tell him you love him
  9. Tell him you like him
  10. Tell him you respect him
  11. Tell him he is the greatest person in your life
  12. Give him space for hobbies or quiet time
  13. Let him know how much you appreciate him
  14. Show him that your respect him and trust him
  15. When you go out on dates, do not bring up negative issues or problems
  16. Focus your attention on the great things he does right
  17. Show interest in what he feels is important in life
  18. Show him that you enjoy spending time alone
  19. Be happy and positive when he comes home
  20. Do not allow any family member or friend to treat him disrespectfully
  21. Defend him to any family member who attempts to dishonor him
  22. Compliment his efforts above his performance
  23. Seek his advice when you seek challenges
  24. Set and work on goals together
  25. Respect his leadership in the home
  26. Be forgiving when he offends you
  27. Find ways to show him you need him. Men need to be needed.
  28. Do not bombard him with “honey-dos”
  29. Quickly admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness
  30. Rub his feet, neck, and shoulders when he is stressed
  31. When he wants to talk, actively listen and ask questions
  32. Tell him you are proud of him
  33. Give advice in a loving manner and do not nag
  34. Reserve energy for intimacy
  35. Praise him for being a good man
  36. Text him love notes during the day
  37. Leave him a sweet voice mail
  38. Brag about him to others even if he is not there
  39. Share your feelings in a concise way
  40. Tell him 3 things you appreciate about him and why
  41. Honor him and show respect in front of others
  42. Help him accomplish his family and personal goals
  43. Give him space if he is in a bad mood or doesn’t want to talk
  44. Don’t compare him to others, especially in a negative way
  45. Tell him thank you for the special things his does
  46. Write “I love you” across the bathroom mirror
  47. Leave love notes for him to find
  48. Work to get rid of the negative things he does not like about you
  49. Do not expect him to notice everything you do
  50. Consult him before making important plans
  51. Let him sleep in when possible
  52. Do not criticize his intelligence
  53. Initiate sex sometimes
  54. Get to the point during discussions
  55. Wink at him when you are across the room in public
  56. Smile at him often
  57. Give him the benefit of the doubt in all situations
  58. Try not to quarrel over words
  59. Do not call him out of his name during arguments
  60. Attack the issue(s) not him
  61. Be kind and polite to him
  62. Stick to financial goals and do not sneak purchases behind his back
  63. Do not blame him for everything that goes wrong
  64. When he blows it, don’t throw it back up in his face
  65. Be understanding
  66. Never argue over money – figure it out in a respectful way
  67. Hold his hand when out in public
  68. Snuggle close when possible
  69. Don’t expect him to read your mind – tell him what you need, think and/or want
  70. Check with him before you throw anything of his away
  71. Work to stay in shape
  72. When you are angry, do not give him the silent treatment
  73. Look your best, especially when out in public
  74. Be his best cheer leader
  75. Acknowledge his successes in everyday situations
  76. Focus on his positives
  77. Patiently show how you need him to love you
  78. Encourage healthy eating
  79. Thank him for being who he is
  80. Enjoy all the time you have with him
  81. Remember to keep humor alive in the relationship
  82. Do things he likes sometimes without grumbling
  83. Plan a romantic dinner or trip for the two of you to a place he loves
  84. Cook his favorite meal and serve him while he sits
  85. Treat him like a king – royal, special and beloved
  86. If you believe in prayer, pray for him consistently

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Just Musing

Loving Self, , , , , , , , , ,

Just sitting here listening to “Shadows” by Lindsey Stirling sipping on a glass of red wine and thinking about you, my reader. Here in Georgia it is a gorgeous Sunday afternoon with the temperatures around 71 degrees with light winds. A perfect afternoon for writing! I am so blessed that I get to share my thoughts with you.

gratefulToday, I feel grateful for my life, my children, my family, my career, my triumphs, challenges and even failures. This morning I woke up thinking about how unbelievably fast my life has reached this point and how much time I have wasted on whatever. Like so many, I have allowed myself to wallow in the quicksand of regret, and shame sinking to lows I never deemed possible. But, today, as I look out of my study window writing to you, I am reminded of all the beauty that life still holds for me and for you.

It is so easy to whine, complain, and gripe, and so easy to forget about the things in life which are good. Wow, this music is so sweet! It really helps to relax my soul. Let me urge you today, to enjoy each moment of your life and choose to do good and be a blessing to others. As we struggle in the difficulties of life’s drama, there is always someone who has challenges even greater than ourselves. Oftentimes, our thinking perpetuates the negativity of a situation, thus causing us to feel victimized and powerless. Yet, in many situations we can rise above the negativity of our thinking, and begin to grow from dramatic situations and live a healthier life.

Our thoughts are extremely powerful, and unchecked can run rampant causing undesirable behaviors, views, feelings, and even negative physical manifestations in our body. For example, if someone says, I’m stupid and I will never amount to anything, chances are they won’t. Or, I’m so fat, I will never lose weight, then they will never lose weight and they will continue to over eat and stay obese. Finally, a person claims, I will never forgive him/her for what he/she did, and I will never trust another person, then trust will always be a struggle.

Our behavior is directly related to our thoughts. If we have loving thoughts towards ourselves and others, our behavior will be indicative of that. If we have negative or hateful thoughts towards others we will behave likewise. Consider the media and all the violence bombarding society. Clearly, folks do not murder someone because they love them. Terrorist activity, rape, theft, abuse and more is not steeped in love! Our behavior is based on our thoughts. If we love, we demonstrate loving actions towards ourselves and others. The converse is equally true.

Our thoughts stimulate our emotions. Our emotions determine our attitude. Our behavior is based on our attitude. What is attitude? Our approach, belief, thinking, outlook on whatever subject or person we are thinking about. We can choose to think positively or we can choose to think negativity. We can choose to live in regret, shame, remorse or guilt. Or we can choose to forgive ourselves, others and even G-d and learn from the challenges in order to live a healthy and happy life. shadow

Again, I am grateful for all life’s experiences and the freedom to share them with you. Be encouraged today, to enjoy today. Let go of all the negativity which impacts your life and make the decision to control your thinking. Make the decision to relish in the dance of life, which our Creator has bestowed on us. Choose to control your thinking in order to live a life filled with love and gratitude. Choose the light and not the shadow.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Shadows by Lindsay Stirling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCsyshUU-A

 

Brick and Mortar vs Virtual Business

Marketing Sense, , , , , , ,

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Travel with me for a moment down this imagined scenario. You own the brick and mortar store on the corner of 23rd Street and Big Bird Boulevard. Your products are valuable, priced reasonably and your store is aesthetically pleasing. You are extremely excited about your new business and you are expecting to experience great success. You tell all  your friends and family about your new store, and hope the folks traveling by your store will stop in and shop. At first, all your friends and family members are visiting and purchasing items from your store and everyone is happy, especially you. People walking or driving by occasionally stop in and purchase products as well. However, after six months, you find that your sales have considerably slowed down, and consequently, so has your cash flow. Yet, your expenses continue as normal. So what do you do?

After considerable thought you get an epiphany… advertise! And so, you purchase radio spots, TV spots and you hire the teenager next door to pass out fliers. Results, you notice more people come to your store, and once again sales are up and you are very happy. So, not only does your business begin to thrive, but it begins to flourish. Thus for your brick and mortar business, advertising becomes extremely important.effective-advertising1

What you have just learned is that your little store on 23rd street and Big Bird Boulevard is just a small building occupying a little space in a huge country, and unless people know you are there you cannot and will not be successful.

Now let’s switch this to your online business. You go through all the expense and time to develop a beautiful interactive website with fantastic products, pay portal, opt-in box, valuable information, links, tools, etc., and you tell your friends and family about your online business. But remember, you only have a limited amount of friends and family. Initially, you receive some traffic from the folks you know and maybe their friends. But, very soon, you notice the traffic to your website has either slowed down or stopped. Why? In order for people to visit your website, they must know your business exist. Cyber- land is vast and wide, advertising is your window for others to view.

Think about the thousands, possibly millions of businesses which occupy Cyberland (cyberspace) globally! The only way to make your presence known is by calling attention to your website. How do you call attention to your site? You must advertise. Stay tune for the next blog on ways to advertise online.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

(Note: Photos courtesy of Goggle Images)