Relationships can be challenging especially when goals and desires are different, and the marriage lacks love and friendship. I guess the ultimate goal of being together in a marriage and being happy is determined by the love factor and our determination to get through difficulties which will arise.
Steve Harvey wrote a book, which states, if a man tells you “we are friends” then believe it. This statement for many women may give them the impression that more will come, and possibly more will come down the line, but maybe not. I have spoken to many people who claim their relationship started off as friends, and then they married each other. Their marriage is like being married to their best friend, and they are very happy. Others, have waited for many years for marriage to their special friend to no avail.
As I am writing this blog, I can think of at least two women who dated a man for over 20 years and they never married. Both women desired marriage, but marriage never came. In fact, one woman was with her special friend for over 21 years. They went their separate ways, he found salvation, another woman, and married his new friend within six months.
So my question, how long should a woman wait for a man to ask her to marry him? Now, I can hear many women say, why should she wait? Or, she can ask him? Hum, but, I’m of the mindset, that men should ask women. I admit, I’m old-fashioned and my thinking is based on the Bible – he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with G-d; but, I also believe, most women would prefer being asked by the love of their life, and not the other way 
around. Disagree? Tell me all about it. I would love to hear your opinions.
Anyway, back to my point. Relationships can be challenging, but also invigorating and wonderful. I believe it depends on the willingness of each person to give 100% of their efforts to enjoy the relationship and contribute doing their very best to be the kind of person which makes a loving and positive difference in the relationship. I believe couples have to be very best friends, in addition to being in-love, committed, loyal and G-d fearing to name just a few.
Relationships based on love, true love will stand the test of time. Issues must become non-issues when it comes to choosing to do what is required to work things out. When things are fantastic, great, exciting, and new in a relationship – we know and understand how easy and glorious the flow between a couple can be. However, when things are strained, stressful, challenging, etc., in those times, love must prevail, if the relationship is going to survive.
In case you forgot, no one is perfect, not me or you. Therefore, what we bring to the table in a marriage is love and r
espect, and a willingness to grow; that is, if you love someone and desire to be with them. If not, then single-hood has its advantages as many of us are well aware. But, at the end of the day, having someone dear and special to navigate through this planet, called life, is worth the effort to be a great mate committed to love, transparency, and understanding towards their spouse.
As I have matured, I have met a lot of people with a lot of money! I mean multi-millionaires! By the way, I’m expecting my millions today in the mail! Seriously!!
As I was saying, I have met and become acquainted with many rich people, and though their money can buy almost anything, it can’t buy happiness or a stress free marriage. I know people who are just getting by (financially), but are extremely happy with their life-mate.
Again, my point, relationships can be challenging, but so is everything else at least some things at some point. Our choice…choose to love your spouse, because at the end of the day, we have to decide who and what is most important. As always, you decide…
Just Musing,
Dr. Dee