Ready and eager to call it quits on your marriage? Ready to throw in the towel, because everything isn’t perfect and does not meet your fantastical expectations? Then consider the following.
Lifelong commitment or a covenant marriage is not what most people think! It isn’t waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It isn’t cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep, peacefully every night after making wild passionate love. It’s not a clean home filled with the sounds of laughter each moment or the joyful sounds of children/teens serenely communicating.
Marriage includes but is not limited to someone who steals all the covers and snores! Marriage sometimes includes slammed doors, yelling, and harsh words. Marriage at least between humans is stubbornly disagreeing, and giving each other the silent treatment, until someone decides to relinquish with hopefully a tender heart. A tender heart which has healed and desires forgiveness both ways, but also where each person is accountable for their actions.
Marriage is coming home to the same person every day. Yet, coming home to that same person should not be boring or dreaded, but coming home to someone you know loves and cares about you. Loving as I have said so many times, means loving what we hate about the person, because it makes up the whole person. Folks, loving means dying to self and doing your part all the time. Marriage is laughing about all the great and stupid things you did together.
Marriage is about dirty laundry, unmade beds, messing garages, burnt meals and boring sex. Marriage is about the great times and difficult times, sickness and death. A marriage that desires to please G-D is about helping each other with the hard work of life! Marriage is sometimes sacrifice and selflessness. Marriage is about shutting your mouth sometimes, instead of spewing nagging and contentious words! Marriage is about cuddling with your lover when life is crazy and only tears flow, because words cannot express the anguish. Marriage is about making time for each other no matter what and much more.
When the honeymoon is over, sometimes marriage can be challenging. This person you love so much, chooses to make you feel loony tuned, insane, crazy and thoughtless all at once. Loving someone is not easy! But loving someone is worth the energy and time invested. I beseech you, bar abuse; do not give up on your marriage and loving the person you decided to make your lifelong partner. Again, it is well worth the effort and pleases our Father.
Yeshua calls us His bride. He put in love, mercy, forgiveness, sacrifice, effort, time and death, so we may have life in Him. Consider your spouse, if Yeshua delivered so we can have life and steadfastness in Him; certainly, we can extend love, time and effort to our spouses as children of the Most High G-D.
Covenantal marriage means upholding your vow even when you are ready to quit! Think about it. Yeah, you may be ready to quit, but don’t! Seek counsel if needed, but at least attempt to do your part to uphold your vow.
#DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee