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Never Oblige Want…NOW
Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the fall colors, crisp cool breeze and the roar of burning wood crackling in the fireplace. I enjoy gatherings with family, friends and the laughter we share. The beauty of this season is a blessing; but, today, I miss my mom.
Thanksgiving was always about spending time with family and friends. As a kid, we had huge traditional turkey meals, laughter and fun! Thanksgiving was a time when we expressed how grateful we were for all the L-RD had done for us; and it was time to relish in those blessings and squash family squabbles. Yet, as time went on, holidays with family and friends changed. Life experiences either interfered or destroyed some of the precious times as the years progressed.
As I am writing this blog, my heart is heavy because I am not only missing my mom, but other members of my family who have passed from this life. And, honestly, I am just lonely for them. I spent a good part of this morning just reminiscing about some of our times together both wonderful and not so wonderful. Last year this time, I was with my mom while she was in hospice and though it wasn’t a traditional Thanksgiving, she was still on this side of heaven and we chatted and laughed together. Sometimes, I just wish I could talk to her.
Yet, even in my sadness today, I am extremely grateful for all ABBA has done for me and my family through Yeshua. He has done more for me than I deserve, and I am humbled by His great love. And, though I do not have any family in the state I am currently living in, I have friends who care about me and that helps tremendously when I am feeling down like today. But more importantly, I do not weep as someone without hope. And, I am grateful for the comfort of the L-RD.
Anyway, the point of this blog, love folks while you can. Hold on to the people who matter. Make time for each other and tell folks how much you love and care for them while they are in your midst. Don’t assume folks know how much you love and appreciate them. You know what they say about assuming.
Let me encourage you…get over yourself and let stupidity and bitterness go. Get over differences because soon and very soon they… and then you will be gone. Enjoy your family and friends like never before as if this is your last day together.
We only have now. What does your now look like?
Enjoy your holidays!
Dr. Dee
Uniquely and Wonderfully Made…
Human beings are animals, not like dogs, cats, horses, cows, etc., instead, we are uniquely and wonderfully made in the image of the living G-D. All of G-D’s creation was made with His wisdom, His creativity and His unique incomparable touches which are visible for all to see and embrace. However, humans have not only been made through His wisdom, but have been created to house and acquire a portion (a very small portion) of His wisdom, knowledge and understanding in addition to all of the other cognitive properties we possess. Animals are not on the same level as human beings and though they should be treated responsibly, to hoist an animal over another human and/or a relationship is a violation of G-D’s design.
We have been so beautifully created by the Master Creator. Many of us fail to embrace our beauty within the framework G-D has designed to intensify our relationship with Him. He has created us to be vessels of His love, wisdom and understanding. He has created us to be His “tangible” presence in the lives of others. He has created us to worship and adore Him. If we love G-D, we love others and treat both accordingly as the Word directs in Deuteronomy 6:1-9.
We have been taught that our emotions, wisdom, cognitive abilities and understanding are seated in our brains. But, is this really the case? We have also been taught that the brain controls the mind? Hum, does it? Who or what is truly working within us? Is it self only or a combination of good, evil inclinations, the illumination of G-D’s spirit or the disastrous influences of the evil one and the world? Or are we a cosmological array of atoms evolved from some anonymous collaborative litter floundering through this thing we call living? Are we a hunk of dirt with a spirit or are we a spirit housed in clay traveling through life?
I personally believe we have been created and we are wonderfully designed by an uncaused cause who loves us, desires to fellowship and make Himself known to us. I personally believe that though human effort is involved, wisdom and understanding are gifts from G-D and housed in our hearts. I do believe that it is the mind that controls the brain. (A blog for another day.) I believe we have been specially designed to demonstrate who we love and to love others accordingly. And, yes we have a propensity for evil and oftentimes we struggle between doing what is righteous instead of succumbing to that which is evil.
I did a word study on the word heart and I was surprised to learn that of those who have had heart transplants, a significant percentage report not feeling like themselves with different preferences; and some have even said they have felt like another person was living inside of them. These reports have befuddled medical doctors. Huh? Like near death experiences are these accounts true? Can we believe these accounts since they are the words of the recipients. If the heart is the seat of wisdom, understanding or the lack thereof, as well as emotions, is it conceivable that the organ for pumping blood can also be a spiritual/invisible working entity person specific? If we are truly spiritual beings having a human experience, then why wouldn’t this be true? But, I digress…
According to the Bible, wisdom is a gift. (Job 38:36, James 1:5) According to the Bible, understanding is a gift. (Daniel 2:21) and G-D has put wisdom in the innermost being of humans and given understanding to the mind of human beings. (Job 38:36) Further, though wisdom and understanding may be bestowed on us to some degree in our inner beings, we should pray for wisdom and understanding in order to be G-DLY led in all manners of life. (Psalm 119:34)
One of the greatest biblical figures was asked by G-D what he wanted, which was almost like a “wish” from G-D. This particular biblical figure asked for wisdom. King Solomon who asked for wisdom so that he might serve the people of G-D, in order for him to discern good and evil. (1 King 3:9) WOW, what a humble leader to look to G-D in order to serve/govern G-D’s people. Did you get that? King Solomon realized his leadership was over G-D’s people [not subjects of his kingdom] and thus he desired to serve G-D by serving G-D’s people justly. Amazingly awesome!
The wisdom of this world is lunacy and contradictory to the purposes of G-D’s will for those who are called by His name. The depth of G-D’s love alludes us and we oftentimes walk circumvent to the dictates of G-D’s instructions. Instead, we clutch onto our narcissistic impulses and the world’s values in self-idolatry, again counterproductive to G-D’s desire for His beloved. We serve a passionately loving G-D whose patience seems endless and gracious. We are bestowed with an abundance of love, grace and mercy each day from our Father and L-RD. Once we get a glimpse of His love, we ought to do better according to His will in all areas of our lives by obeying His commandments.
Wisdom and understanding are gifts from G-D to humans in order for us to use our free will to serve and love Him, and consequently serve and love others. But in all of our knowledge, we need His wisdom and His understanding in order to serve Him in ways that are pleasing to Him. Our idea of good may not line up with HIS idea of good. And, since He is G-D, we might consider learning and applying behaviors which exemplify His will.
Knowledge without wisdom/understanding can be obtained as a cognitive process. We are created to understand basic and/or complex information; and we have a choice for our proceeding actions. Animals can not think analytically, express, evaluate, synthesize and respond accordingly using free will as G-D has proposed for humans. But wisdom, complete understanding and the practical application of “good” over evil is one of the ways we are set apart from the beast of the air and land. The test for the application of G-DLY wisdom, understanding and knowledge is obedience to our Creator, ABBA through our helper, the Rauch HaKodesh (Breath of G-D) according to His Torah.
My point, we do not in my opinion truly get how wonderfully and uniquely we have been created in G-D’s image. We do not fully comprehend how much He loves us and desires to be the priority in our lives, thus why Yeshua came. Yet, conversely, we do not understand the harshness of His wrath at our denial of Him and all He has to offer. Our Father is both loving and just. My tiny glimmers of His love are my hope in this life and the life to come. He is Echad, One, the TRUE living G-D who has provided access to Himself through the love, mercy and authority of Yeshua (Jesus).
Belief in the creation of human beings, our uniqueness and being wonderfully made, as well as living in an aesthetically pleasing environment nullifies the notion that we exploded from a pile of matter. Look around at the beauty and complexity of nature and then consider the beauty and complexity of others and then yourself…we have been undeniably uniquely and wonderfully made. Imagine a world if we truly believed each one of us is uniquely and wonderfully made.
Musings in Him,
Dr. Dee
A Short Prayer
Dearest Abba,
May your Name be kept holy among your people and your instructions fulfilled without grumbling and whining. May your people who are called by your name cherish YOU, respect YOU, obey YOU and honor YOU with all their hearts, minds and souls. May your people be the salt and light in the earth as you have demanded; and may you be pleased with the service of your people…for YOU are holy and worthy of all praise, honor and prestige. You are love and there is no one else who touches our hearts, provides and sustains like YOU. You are the G-D of mercy – not giving us what we deserve; and the G-D of grace offering us the gift of forgiveness in Yeshua.
Today, I lift up families, friends and our nation, the USA…please according to your tender mercies…bless, protect, and squash the evil which is seeking to kill, destroy and steal our very existence, in the name of Yeshua I humbly ask. You have also commanded that we pray for our enemies, so ABBA may our enemies be moved to graciousness and resolution with others as they see your light and hear your beckoning.
Today, I also lift up Israel because you said in your word to pray for the peace of Israel. I pray for your Shalom to surround them and keep them safe during their various trials and tribulations as they war against their neighbors. I pray that lasting peace will be realized for better living conditions for all.
As you know, there are wars all over the world and rumors of wars; famine, disease, and all sorts of devastating situations. And, though I fail to comprehend all the matters which are heart wrenching, I trust in YOU because you are still in charge and handling these situations as you see fit. However, I pray that you would aggressively move to bring healing, peace, forgiveness and more according to your will in the name of Yeshua. May your Kingdom come!
You are the G-D who sees and knows all things. Please move across the land of Israel, USA and the world in ways which defines who you are and impacts people for your glory. Thank you for listening to my prayer. I love you L-RD!
In Him,
Dr. Dee
Commodities of Choice…
We all make choices each moment of each day. Our choices range from minor to major and consequently, the consequences of those choices are realized whether positive or negative. However, many times when we are in the midst of decision considerations, we may not look far enough into the “future” in an attempt to make a wise decision.
This past Shabbat, I was listening to one of my favorite Rabbi’s, and he mentioned how many of us have regrets regarding our relationships with our children and wish we would have done things differently even as an honorable parent. And, though this may be the case, we have to repent from our errors and move on. Wallowing in self-pity and shame is contrary to G-D’s design of repentance and forgiveness. We have to forgive ourselves and as well as others. I was speaking to a friend on the same subject, and he mentioned that he has thoughts about things he could have done differently, and he was/is a very involved parent with both of his children.
Anyway, what about other choices? Marital choices, living accommodations, career choices, friendships, dining pleasures, worship communities and more. All of our choices whether demanding or miniscule equals consequences, positive or negative. This is both a natural and a biblical dictate.
So how do we make wise decisions? The older we get supposedly the wiser we get, goes the saying. However, I have found as a believer in Yeshua, the older I get the more I need His wisdom and guidance; and the less I can or need to lean on my own understanding. I am clear on the choices I have made, and my current consequences remind me of the lack of wisdom and knowledge I thought I possessed, and as well as the converse. There are many positive and wonderful consequences in my life, as well as not so much.
What do I mean? Examples:
Marriage and family have always been very important to me. Initially, in my naïveté, I thought of marriage in fairy-tale manner. But, as the years have passed and failed relationships have cruelly demonstrated, marriages that are not based in covenant with G-D at the helm, struggle at best or self-destruct. Why? The choices couples make will either strengthen or destroy their marriage, their children, family and/or friends. Strengthened marriages full of love, joy, companionship, understanding, friendship are many times beacons of hope and pleasure for the onlookers, as well as those privileged to thrive in those familial relationships. The converse, unfortunately, is true.
Marriages which wreak of strife, bitterness, dishonesty, selfishness, sarcasm, and resentment are on a fast track to futility and ultimately death (divorce). Who suffers? The marital partners, children, friends, family and others. And, once an individual is standing in the midst of middle or senior years, the consequences of life choices may prove contrary to their hoped desires.
Unfortunately, like my momma used to say, many folks today have a lack of staying-power. They quit when the going gets tough in their marriages, careers, diets or whatever it might be, because the heat of the struggle weakens or demolishes their resolve. We lack the desire or spiritual-muscle to depend on G-D to help us do our part and have the faith that He will do His part. And, those who do not have a relationship with ABBA usually depend on their own devices, which most times proves inadequate.
So again, all of our decisions matter!
Where is our hope and resolve with our past, present and future decisions? Our hope is in the L-RD! Our hope is in the L-RD! We hear this all the time in Christendom. However, what does that mean? What does it look like?
Each person has to answer that question for themselves as they examine their life and take stock of their beliefs, their relationship with the Master, Yeshua, and the practical application of their faith as the Bible instructs. Each person must reconcile their status as a sinner with ABBA according to His plan of salvation in His Word.
I believe this is a process and part of working out our salvation in Yeshua under the direction of His Holy Spirit beyond the verbal acknowledgement of our belief in Him. The basic tenets of our faith must be our foundation, our hope in His coming Kingdom, the presence of His Kingdom on earth and the light of His Kingdom living within us. Further, we must accept and put our faith in His redemptive efforts on the cross and His resurrection. Your celebration of your belief in Yeshua must be based on the Word of G-D and not man’s traditions; as well as we ought to fellowship with our community of siblings in the faith.
We all, myself included, have made decisions which have put us exactly in the place we find ourselves in this current moment. To deny that we did not play a role in our own current circumstances regardless of the positivity or negativity is to deny a basic fundamental truth. We are our consequences as a rule. Remember the rule, not the exception. To think we have innocently moved along in this life is a fallacy worth repentance.
Let’s consider a few examples based on our choices and potential consequences. Fill in the blank per your understanding.
Negative Choices:
- Treating others with contempt … [fill in the blank].
- Refusing to provide for self/family … [fill in the blank].
- Excessive intake of alcohol … [fill in the blank].
- Experimental or drug addiction … [fill in the blank].
- Consistent poor food choices … [fill in the blank].
- Lying, stealing … [fill in the blank].
- Sex prior to marriage and/or without protection … [fill in the blank].
- Marriage outside of G-D’s design … [fill in the blank].
- Divorce … [fill in the blank].
- Lack of education … [fill in the blank].
- A life devoid of a relationship with Yeshua as Savior … [fill in the blank].
Positive Choices:
- Prayer each day and throughout … [fill in the blank].
- Loving G-D according to the Shema (Deut. 6:4-9) … [fill in the blank].
- Reading G-D’s Word each day … [fill in the blank].
- Emulating the Master Yeshua … [fill in the blank].
- Living faith via practical application … [fill in the blank].
- Obeying G-D’s teachings … [fill in the blank].
- Repenting of offenses to G-D and others …. [fill in the blank].
- Exercising self-control … [fill in the blank].
- Education (life learner) … [fill in the blank].
- Treating others with love, kindness and respect … [fill in the blank].
- Loving and praying for adversaries … [fill in the blank].
- Strong work ethnic … [fill in the blank].
- Fighting the good fight of faith … [fill in the blank].
- Staying power and responsibility … [fill in the blank].
Obviously, either list above is exhaustive. However, regardless of what or who you believe in, we are all passing through this life. Every single one of us is going to leave planet earth by way of the death locomotive. Your money, status, moma, papa, kids, husband, wife, etc., cannot hold us when the death angel arrives. You, me, all of us will have to answer to the stranger of death. What case will your life choices present to the ultimate Judge?
Therefore, while we have today, let us embrace the love of our Heavenly Father through our Savior Yeshua, and repent of our pasts believing and living as new creations in Him. Let us ask for wisdom, guidance and insights on the decisions we make in every area of our lives. Let us seek the counsel of ABBA before making rash decisions, because we are incapable of fully understanding the consequences of our choices. We have just a little while on earth and infinite years in eternity. Let us be encouraged to trust and believe in our Blessed Hope who holds our today and our tomorrow.
Be the consequence of your commitment to ABBA, so others will see the best of who you are in Him and be drawn to Him. One of our goals as believers is to live our faith as His hands, His feet and His voice. Seek G-D and He will help you work out your salvation in reconciliation with Him in all areas of your life. Finally, remember to pray for one another including guidance in decision making. James 5:16
We are the commodities of our choices.
Musings,
Dr. Dee
Note: If you find value in my musings, please feel free to share. Thank you for stopping by today and engaging in my contemplations! May G-D richly bless and keep you!
Artistically Unlimited
ABBA, YOUR goodness is running after your people, and your love exceeds the understanding of humankind. And, though, we are dreadfully sinful and full of narcissistic desires, you keep showing your love, grace and faithfulness each day to every single person on planet earth through your creation.
What do you mean Dr. Dee? How does G-D faithfully demonstrate His love to all?
Let me list a few ways:
- Are you reading this post? Consider all that allows you to read.
- Is your body still responding to stimuli?
- Are you on this side of heaven?
- Did the weather show up where you are currently living?
- Did you have water to drink?
- Did the flowers and trees blossom, grow, and/or provide food/shelter?
- Did the sea continue to vomit food and nourish humans and animals?
- Did the lakes flow and provide water and living habitats for various animals?
- Did the air provide CO2?
- Did the sun rise and set on this day or yesterday?
- Did the moon remain in the heavens or did it fall to earth?
- Did the clouds form and/or dissipate on this day or yesterday?
- It rains on the just and the unjust indiscriminately…is this not the case?
- And the list goes on and on! Can you think of a few examples?
The glory of G-D is evident in nature and benefits everyone, including animals irrespective of one’s belief about G-D and/or their current economic status. As we examine nature, we get a glimpse of the artistic, majestic and awesomeness of the invisible G-D revealing Himself in magnificent and often indescribable visible ways. We sometimes look at nature and take the beauty around us for granted or consider it an atomic explosion from centuries past. However, each day G-D’s handiwork is on display for all to admire and appreciate. And, may I add to love, honor and worship Him! Who? The Creator of the universe and the sustainer of life.
Let me ask you this: What other god sustains as the Creator, HaShem? What other god created the planets and holds them in perfect harmony? What other god causes the winds to blow, the seas to roar, and the earth to produce both grass and trees; thistles and flowers; wheat and corn? What other god has crafted the human body with such precision and capability? What other god has created all the variety we see in the animal kingdom? What other god desires a personal relationship with his subjects? What other god touches hearts in profound ways, protects, provides and nurtures? What other god provides salvation through Yeshua? There is none like Him. [Jeremiah 10:6-16] There is only One True and Living G-D…HaShem!
The sun has not failed to rise or set in all the years I have lived on this planet. The weather continues to impact this planet, which He controls. The crops grow and nourish both humans and animals as does water. No one can say, I am NOT blessed of Adonai! The very air we breathe is manufactured by G-D for He made the earth by His power and established the world by His wisdom. When He thunders, the waters in the heavens are in turmoil; and He causes the clouds to rise from one end of the earth to another. [Jeremiah 10:12-13] G-D created and sustains all things for His purpose and glory. Don’t get it twisted! It is all about ABBA, the Creator regardless of your stance.
Therefore, the next time, you find yourself roaming around outside; take a moment to scrutinize the great outdoors and consider the plants, trees, mountains, birds and stars. Behold the beauty of the planet G-D has created for us. Thank Him.
Next time, you find yourself roaming around outside; with a grateful heart, thank G-D for the air you breathe, the plants which provide food and beauty; the water, which quenches your thirst and cleanses your body and many other things. Be grateful.
Next time, you find yourself roaming around outside; thank G-D for His consideration of you and be deeply appreciative for all that you have…not what you want, but WHAT you already have. You might find you are very rich beyond your realization.
Remember, we serve a great and mighty G-D who desires our worship, obedience and fellowship. Get outside and behold the artistic landscape of our artistically unlimited G-D. Glorify and reach up to the One true and living G-D whose artistic exquisiteness is available each day for our admiration and adoration.
Musings,
Dr. Dee
SHOUT OUT TO… Hospitality Graced with Generosity!
What an exciting weekend we had on the fourth of July 2022. I am grateful for the freedom and the ability to celebrate July 4th in the United States of America. We decided back in February 2022 to visit a dear friend who moved to Buda, Texas for his birthday on July 3rd and stay a couple of extra days until July 5th. [Names of friends have been left out of this blog for privacy purposes.]
The entire trip was smooth and uneventful, beginning with our air travel from Denver, CO. The weather was pleasant, the flight was smooth, the airline was comfortable and accommodating. Our travel was wonderful to Buda as well as our return home to Denver.
Once we arrived at our friend’s new home, the accommodations were quite cozy and very lovely. Our host turned over his home to us, (a couple and myself); and stayed at a different location. Who does that? Give up their bed, their home, provide food/refreshments, and stays at a different location, so we could be comfortable and have privacy. This is very fine hospitality.
We met two awesome families who are friends of our host. They provided us with food, fellowship and made us genuinely feel welcomed. We received gifts, we laughed, played games and shared some personal stories. In addition, we had a tour of Buda and Austin and we were treated to a charming dinner at a restaurant in Buda called Mud Bugs. The following day we had a birthday dinner for our host at the famous Oasis restaurant in Austin. The hospitality was graced with generosity. Shout out to the folks who made our trip very memorable.
We went on a beautiful boat tour after our dinner at the Oasis on Lake Travis. We admired the beautiful homes and the breathtaking scenery as the boat captain entertained us. As many of you know, it is extremely hot in Texas during the month of July. But, our time on the lake was relaxing and comfortable during our evening ride. Our host paid for the boat tour as his “birthday gift” to us, and the captain of the boat refused to take a tip as his gift to our host. He asked for a positive review on FaceBook. Again, hospitality graced with generosity.
Our trip to Buda was a vivid reminder of the importance of love, friendship and the connection of “strangers” when we are interrelated by the same spirit of the living G-D! It was comforting to know and visit with like-minded people who are living their faith in an unique way filled with laughter, joy, gratitude and faithfulness. I was further inspired by their gracious acceptance of us and long to visit again.
I was also blessed to hear about some of their trials and tribulations; yet, I witnessed their steadfastness in the L-RD. Finally, I was surrounded by three wonderful married couples who seemed to be joyfully in sync with each other. This was awesome to witness, especially when divorce is so prevalent in our society.
All in all it was a very wonderful excursion away from home, and I am extremely grateful for safe travels as well as the all the exciting interactions. Thank you to everyone who helped make our trip so very enjoyable! Shout out and much love to you all!
Grateful Musings,
Dr. Dee
If you ever decide to take a tour on Lake Travis – ask for Chris. He was our boat tour captain.
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Keep Praying…
This morning I read the entire book of Colossians, the letter from Yeshua’s Emissary Sha’ul to the Messianic Community in Colossians in the Complete Jewish Bible. As I read through G-D’s words this morning, I was profoundly reminded of the remarkable and incomprehensible love He has for His people. He demonstrated His amazing love through His son Yeshua providing redemption, i.e., the forgiveness of our sins and eternal salvation. Yeshua, who is the visible image of the invisible G-D, is supreme over all creation, and in connection with G-D created all things; those seen and unseen. [Col 1:14-16]
Rabbi Sha’ul wrote an eloquent prayer to the community of faithful believers that is appros for believers in Yeshua today.
Colossians 1:9 Therefore, from the day we heard of it, we have not stopped praying for you, asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all the wisdom and understanding which the Spirit gives; 10 so that you may live lives worthy of the Lord and entirely pleasing to him, being fruitful in every good work and multiplying in the full knowledge of God. 11 We pray that you will be continually strengthened with all the power that comes from his glorious might; so that you will be able to persevere and be patient in any situation, joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father for having made you fit to share in the inheritance of his people in the light. [ESB]
Are we praying for each other in the same manner that Sha’ul prayed for the community of Colossians? Are we modeling the profession of our lips in our homes, communities, workplaces, etc.? Do our lives represent fruitfulness and growing in full knowledge of our Master Yeshua? And if not, why?
Prayer, I believe, is one of our spiritual obligations, which draws us closer to the Father, strengthens our resolve, and keeps us focused on WHO is in charge, as well as reminds us of our fragility. I used the word obligations, which might imply a burdensome duty, but really prayer should be a want to, can’t wait to, need to, delightful and fulfilling time of loving and communicating with ABBA.
Prayer is a communication vehicle, which molds and empowers our relationship with HaShem. Prayer is our means of hearing and being equipped by ABBA to do His will. I believe that we must focus on prayer all through the day and night keeping ABBA first and foremost. Yeshua was very clear about prayer prior to His murder on the cross. He told His disciples to always pray to the Father on His merit and authority; and the Father would hear and answer their prayers. [John 16:23-24] Yeshua did not say to pray to Him. We have this same promise as we choose to be faithful to Yeshua and follow His commandments.
I also read an article from the Messiah Magazine, Issue 27, which First Fruits of Zion publishes. In this article which recounted various near-death-experiences, one individual who had an NDE found himself dead and before the throne of judgment. According to the article, the man was surprised by G-D’s mercy towards him. His confusion was resolved when he began hearing the prayers of his community through the angels. After returning to this realm, he related the exact details of the prayers to his community that he never heard before his NDE.
I have read many stories about the experiences of those who have what’s been coined NDE or near-death-experiences, but this was the first one which mentioned the profundity of prayers and actually hearing the prayers of others; and G-D displaying mercy based on the prayers of others for the person unaware. I hope that makes sense? Whether you believe this story or not, I believe our prayers are vital in this life for those we pray for irregardless if they know we are praying for them or not. I believe when we pray according to G-D’s will He answers those prayers according to what He deems is best.
Therefore, as we pray for one another, as well as ourselves, let us pray with eternity in mind, full of love and G-D’s best for each other. Let us pray that we will grow in faith and application as we navigate through this life, and let others see the fruit of our following Yeshua, so they might be drawn to Him.
My prayer for us: May the mediation of our hearts flow from our lips and may others recognize our commitment and love for our Creator and Savior through Yeshua HaMashiach, Jesus the Christ. May we humbly serve as members of G-D’s Kingdom in ways which please Him. And, when we fail, quickly run to Him with contrite and sincere hearts knowing that He has promised to forgive and restore us. When our faith is weak and the burdens of this life overwhelming, may we ask ABBA for help to walk in the power of our comforter, the Holy Spirit knowing that He will reveal all truth to us and strengthen us. Help us to live demonstrating our love to You, ABBA and others by keeping your commandments. In the name of Yeshua.
Let us not be overwhelmed by fear, but in Him walk in the power of His love and mercy.
Growing in Him,
Dr. Dee
Men are no good!
Men are no good! They can’t be trusted! Men just want sex! They’re animals! Men are worthless! You don’t need a man to take care of you! The hell with them!
Have you heard such comments from friends, family, and/or co-workers? Have you paid attention to how men are ridiculed in the media, either blatantly or subtlety? I would venture to say we have all heard the aforementioned comments and many more; and we have been entertained by such foolish and degrading comments. Now, before you get tangled in a tizzy, the focus on this blog is about our men; husbands, brothers, sons and/or friends. So don’t go writing me about the injustices inflicted on women. I know all too well about the mistreatment of women, been there and have my graduate degrees with honors on being mistreated!
However, as a mother and grandmother of men, I want to know, why as a society are we hell-bent on demonizing our men! Think about it. The depth of the question is beyond the scope of this blog, but the evidence is all around us via media, within our work places, churches, synagogues and more. Instead of celebrating the great men in our lives who are doing what is required, we dog and degrade them! Should not be!
We have moved so far away from the principles of G-D’s Torah (His teachings, laws) especially in our marriages that many women emasculate or belittle their husbands even sons, either intentionally or unintentionally on a regular basis. Sometimes, emasculation occurs during the dating process leaving some women to wonder, why has the man ghosted them! So, if you do not espouse having a relationship with the Creator through His Son Yeshua, you might want to stop reading.
If you are still reading, marriage is G-D’s design between a biological male and a biological female; and within His design, He decided on the roles for each person…both equal in His sight and joint heirs in Yeshua, but different roles. Read your Bible. (Ephesians 5) However, regardless of one’s position within the marriage husband or wife, BOTH – (I am speaking to believers and followers of Yeshua) are required to love and respect each other, first submitted to G-D and then to each other. Yet, G-D told man to love His wife, because He knew men would struggle with the love part; and He told women to respect their husband and submit to His g-dly leadership, because He, G-d knew women would have difficulty respecting their man if He didn’t do or live up to their expectations.
Admit it! Many of us have extreme difficulty respecting our men/husbands, especially if they are inadequate in some way, including the bedroom. Thus as women, we can speak very harshly to our spouses in ways that wound them deeply, and in a manner which does not bring honor to G-D. G-D expects better from us and with the help of His breath, His Spirit, we can and should do better.
Some of us have been raised under an umbrella of criticism of men, because of negative female experiences. Others, joke about the “stupidity” of men, and are oblivious to how the toxicity of their words hurt men whether spouse, son, or friend. The media slams men due to the liberal notions prevalent in our society, as well as undesirable actions of many men. Now, I get that every man who feels emasculated or small has not been verbally abused by his girlfriend, mother or wife…but that is not the point of this blog. I am again, speaking to women who claim to love and serve G-D; yet, WE have failed in honoring and respecting our men in some cases. And, though in the heat of the moment or in the “fun” of the moment it may seem justified; we are called to always show honor and respect to our men.
A study was conducted in 2014 by a neuropsychologist named Dr. David Lewis. This study demonstrated that men experienced more physiological changes in an emotional experiment than their female counterparts. This study according to the article in healthyway.com, men feel emotions just as much as women, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to societal expectations. Seriously, do we need a study to explain this to us? G-D’s word is clear on the vileness of the tongue and the necessity to love each other. (Ep. 4:29; Prov. 15:1; James 3:2-10) Any feeling or breathing human being is going to experience emotional currents both good and harmful. The expression of such feelings or lack of expression may be different, but emotional feelings are part of being human. My point, contrary to our stance on how men may or may not feel, it is imperative as women of Yeshua that we treat our men with respect.
Listed below are some comments, we make intentionally or unintentionally, especially when we are totally and completely enraged with our spouse, fuming with resentment and/or full of self-righteousness and bitterness. I confess, I have made derogatory remarks to the men I claimed to love. It wasn’t a pretty picture at best! I regret the disrespectful words I spewed in a belittling manner, and I have suffered grave loss because of my sins. Thank G-D for His forgiveness and learning from my mistakes.
Emasculating Actions/Comments:
- Calling him degrading names. In a loving relationship, there is no room for name calling. Men have feelings too, and to tell a man he has no courage, a loser, etc., because maybe he is not dealing with a situation per your methodology will cause him to feel insignificant as a man. Worst, hit him with derogatory sexual remarks…duck for cover! (No physical violence of course.) Words bring life or death to the listener. Harsh words are a breeding ground for the evil one to infect the relationship with bitterness, hatred, anger, adultery, and death (divorce).
- Pointing out his failings. Like us women, men are well aware of their flaws and do not need us to point them out or attempt to change them. In a loving relationship, we have to “love” the things we hate about the person, because part of loving someone is loving the whole person. If something is really an issue, then take the concern to G-D in prayer, and ask Him first to deal with the matter; and then to help you speak in kindness if applicable. And, remember, ladies, we spend an excessive amount of time and billions of dollars per year working on own our flaws. Maybe, we should spend just as much effort working on our inner woman.
- Rescuing him in a conversation. This might happen in a conversation with others and you jump in, pushing him aside and begin to talk or argue for him. The fact that you intervened may cause him to believe you think he is unable to talk or defend his argument. Let him talk. He is a grown man and does not need a mother. If you are having difficulty keeping quiet, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to pray and adjust.
- Criticizing him to family/friends. Keep your mouth closed! Personal matters between a husband and wife ought to stay between the couple, bar needing some counselling for a serious matter. Otherwise, criticizing your spouse because he doesn’t put down the toilet seat or eats with his mouth open or whatever, only glorifies that which you hate and makes him look awful to others. The point…don’t badmouth your man! Like momma use to say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all! Besides, many times when women badmouth their spouses, long after the couple has made up, others remember and view him less favorably.
- Humiliating him in public. Arguments are inevitable. Couples disagree. Keep it private. If one argues in public, and the man retorts too loudly, then he could be labeled an abuser or the cops called. If there is arguing in front of the family, dad, brothers or Big Mama, then the issue escalates; and again, others will view him negatively. And, besides ladies, think about your reputation as a follower of Yeshua?
None of us are perfect, but as women who believe in Yeshua, we are commanded to respect our spouses. (Ephesians 5:33) And, though there are many other ways to emasculate or belittle our men, we ought to make a concerted effort to honor and cherish them. When we fail to honor the men in our lives, we ought to ask for forgiveness, even if we have belittled our sons, brothers, or other men.
If you have always honored and respected your spouse and others, then you are blessed and very special. For those who struggle in this area, ask G-D to help you. He is always available to hear our prayers and help us to overcome those sins which easily beset us.
Just saying,
Dr. Dee
Skin Color Shouldn’t Matter
June 12 of each year is called Happy Loving Day in the US. This day is about spreading love, but particularly honors the fight of Mildred and Richard Loving, who fought against the laws confining them and everyone else from marrying interracially. Mildred was black and Richard white.
‘The freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual, and cannot be infringed by the state.’ Supreme Court Decision 1967. [https://nationaltoday.com/national-loving-day/]
As a baby boomer, it is difficult to imagine a time when folks could not marry their lover based on skin color. And though I was 11 when the Supreme Court decision was rendered in 1967, it is extremely perplexing to imagine that such a law even existed. [Read more about the Lovings at the link above.]
Today, interracial couples are almost common place in various parts of the country/world as well as seen in various advertisements on TV, movies, social media, etc. However, though some people may stare and/or speak with admiration, envy or disdain, people of different races, religions, and/or ethnic groups, fall in love and decide to marry. Dating and/or marrying someone outside your race can be based on a mutual attraction of love, preference, social environment and more. Yet, couples who choose to date/marry someone of a different ethnic persuasion should not be a concern to anyone. People are free to choose their mates for reasons, which make sense to them at least in some cultures.
My point, our current societal climate seems to pit people of color against white people, particularly white men. In addition, many see “color” in every nook and cranny from the schoolhouse to the jail house; from the Church and to the Synagogue, etc. This playing of the race-card, victimization or just attempting to keep racism at the forefront in America fails to honor the plight, determination and courage of many people who have systematically and personally made a conscious effort to embrace the mantra of Dr. Martin Luther King – “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Instead, some continue to serve up strife and division to perpetuate an anti-love motif.
In some ways it feels like we are traveling backwards to a time of hatred when skin color mattered for many. Skin color is not up for discussion in the womb and nor should it be when the miracle of birth occurs. You enter into this world based on the genetics of your biological parents, but ultimately G-D decides. If we are not annoyed, to put it mildly by our own skin color or the color of someone else, then we find other forms of hatred to masturbate or satisfy our wicked desires to be better or superior to others and this ought not to be. Many times we are unwilling to have conversations about differences under the guise of mutual honor and respect. In my opinion, we should just accept others for who they are and have the courage to discuss differences and/or biases as opportunities avail themselves with a growth mindset. But many times we fail to do this. And, why is this?
Is our society so narcissistic that we fail or refuse to provide for others that which we personally demand? Are we so blinded by our own ideologies that any other opinion is foolishness to our sensibilities? Are we just straight up afraid that the other person may actually be right? Whatever it is that keeps us from truly loving and respecting each other as ourselves needs to go… irrespective of our spiritual beliefs. [Lev. 19:18] We cannot continue to function as a society in a bloodbath of hatred and disdain, strife and division. Otherwise, we sprint to our demise as a society.
Yet, how do we move past our dysfunction of hate and negativity? Our only answer is in the Savior of the world and thus the individual Savior of our souls. Yeshua is willing and able to assist us, if we choose to allow ourselves to be touched by His love and grace. In Yeshua (Jesus) all that we need is met and sustained by Him, even our ability to believe and have faith is a gift from the Heavenly Father through Yeshua. [Ephesians 2:8ff]. The question – are we willing to submit ourselves to His love and authority? Are we willing to love our neighbors?
So, let me circle back to my original thoughts…We celebrated Happy Loving Day on June 12, but how many people really embrace “loving” each other? There are three types of love. We have eros – erotic love; philo – brotherly love; and agape – the love of ABBA (the Father) which is completely unconditional love. [John 3:16-18] Love is a word which requires action and is evident by a product or production with a receiver. One cannot say they love with lacking evidence. One cannot say they love with lack of effort. Love brings about joy, happiness, is not rude, does not rejoice in troubles, is not easily angered, does not keep track of wrongs and does not care about the skin color of a fellow human being. [I Corn. 13: 1-13]
It is my belief that as humans we can never reach the level of agape love and function accordingly. We are imperfect beings who imperfectly represent the image of G-D. However, we can always strive towards brotherly love and be willing to love our neighbors as ourselves; (neighbors include everyone, spouses, ex-spouses and even enemies) and treat each other accordingly. Is this an easy feat…of course not! But in Yeshua all things are possible, starting with our motives and willingness to love and serve G-D as well as others.
Let me encourage us: Today, may we make a conscious effort to see others based on their character and not on their skin color or some other biological feature. But, let us implore the Ruach HaKodesh (Spirit of G-D) to help us see others as He sees us, i.e., needing salvation, love, compassion, understanding, a helping hand and more. Making our world a better place begins with the person in the mirror. Commit to reflect on your image in the mirror and determine to be the best version of yourself in Yeshua.
Much Love,
Dr. Dee