I am so very grateful to all those who helped me to publish this book. It was written in the hopes that people who say they love G-D, would love their spouses, and choose to stay in their relationship. My prayer…you find some word or phrase in this work of love that will bless your heart and then share that with others.
May HaShem richly bless you!
Dr. Dee
Note: I was looking at some of my old posts and felt this one was worth posting again with some new additions. If you find this post worthy of sharing, please share.
Recently, I found a 2009 journal of mine as I was watching my grandson. As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-D has brought me! Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years prior, with the official separation on July 25, 2009.
However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way! The purpose of this writing is to praise G-D for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love! As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life. Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember! Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.
My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-D had waiting for me! All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom! When I became single again, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all of the time. Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior. There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me nor did the world care. Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living my shattered world again.
Then, as time progressed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry. So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, still working on my weight, and I am ready for G-D’s choice (husband) to step into my life. I am also ready for ministry, as G-D has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors! Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.
In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-D is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes. The MOMENT we hold is not our final in Mashiach (Messiah)! This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty… There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and remember Him when as we are holding unto His promises for those who trust in Him.
Please know and believe that G-D will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog. He will see you through. He does hear our prayers. I am so happy that I serve the Living G-D whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!
Be encouraged today and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah, nor are you defined by your circumstances. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will BETTER or BITTER on the other side of your drama. Did you notice one “letter” determines your heart-condition!
The choice is always ours.
DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
Well, I finished my first teaching school year in Denver, and approaching my first year living in the Rockies. They call it the Rockies for a reason!
No…but really, I have enjoyed living in the beautiful state of Colorado for the most part. I have desperately missed family and friends from Georgia, but life in Colorado has been pretty good for me!
My baptism into the school system challenged me to rise above the obvious and explore below the surface. There were days I thought I was going to pack my two dresses and return to Georgia; or just lose my mind at the very least! Many nights my king-size sleigh bed embraced me by 5:30 PM until dawn, and upon waking – realizing …off to work I go!
Many days, I cried, complained, whined and prayed, only to wonder, why I moved to Denver? Teaching was extremely hard! But, thank G-d for friends and family who will put up with the same complaints over and over again. Yet, without the help of Adonai, and His assurance that the move to Denver was His will, I would have lost my mind, my health, my job and anything else in the path of attempting to destroy me.
So, this blog is dedicated to the very Savior, (Yeshua, Jesus) of my soul in this life and the life to come. Adonai, again has shown up and showed out in my life in marvelous ways, and I am truly grateful! He helped and is helping me to get settled in a Shul (Synagogue, Messianic) with wonderful people who embrace a Torah-life style committed to loving G-d, each other, and embracing the salvation of Yeshua as prescribed in the Word of G-d. The love and companionship of those who have accepted me has been life-giving. G-d always knows best…even when we think we know better; and His anticipatory love is surprisingly overwhelming and wonderful!
Yet again, work was extremely challenging at best, as well as tolerable. G-D brought me to the right place to grow as a professional and as a person. My hat is off to the leadership, my teaching partner, and other colleagues. Their support and encouragement helped to make each day a little brighter in the midst of mayhem, rebellion, pain, hurt, good, growth, and noticeable positive accomplishments by the end of the school year.
This school year’s life lessons have cemented once again the resilience and endurance available to us when we lean on and into G-d’s grace. I am excited that the year is over, but I am grateful for the experience and G-d’s management in my situation and the lives of my students. I could not have done it without Him, and the love from family and friends.
My point… without G-d, the One, True and Living G-d – I am nothing, weak, frail and afraid, and at times – enraged! With G-D all things are possible when we trust in Him, even when I/We are blinded by what seems to be the obvious.
#DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
What are some of the goals you have for the next 6 months or for the next year? This is always the time of year when many folks set goals for themselves. I set goals as well. Some goals I’ve achieved, and some are a work in progress. However, some goals in my opinion, ought to be life-long resolutions. Listed below are ten of those life-long determinations I think are important.
1. Free of Worry (Matthew 6: 25-34)
Worry is a waste of mental energy and accomplishes nothing. Worry is very debilitating and hard to overcome. But, with much prayer and effort, we can learn not to worry, and instead walk in faith. Many times that which we worry about NEVER happens anyway or at least the results are better than expected.
2. Pray (317 times mentioned in Scripture) 
We have not because we ask not, and when we do ask, we ask amiss or based on our selfish desires. (James 4:3) However, if we delight in the L-rd and allow His desires for us to line up with our desires, we’ll find our worry will subside among many other things, and we can be confident in G-d who hears and answers our prayers.
3. Count your blessings with a grateful heart
Dwell on all the wonderful things you have or have experienced. Focus on how much G-d loves you and your family, and on all the ways He demonstrates His love each day. Be grateful and count your countless blessings.
4. Stay active
Commit to get up and move more. There are many ways you can commit to staying active. Start in ways which are best or fun for you. Consider parking at the far end of the shopping parking lot to get effort steps in. Grab your spouse, kids or a friend and dance to your favorite song. Walk the dog, jump rope or join the gym. But, choose to stay active.
5. Eat Well
Pay attention to your eating choices. Eat in moderation and limit sugar and salt. Eat the minimum servings of fruits and vegetables every day, and take whole food supplements. www.mybailoutoption.com Make a decision to eat to live and not live to eat.
6. Hydrate
Drink plenty of water each day. The Mayo Clinic recommends approximately 109 ounces or 13 cups for the adult male, and 9 cups or 72 ounces for the adult female. I follow the guideline of 1/2 ounce of water per ideal weight. So, for example, if a person weighs 150 
pounds, their water intake should be 75 ounces per day roughly equivalent to the 72 ounces . I’m not a medical doctor, but based on my research this seems to work. www.mybailoutoption.com
7. Smile
Pledge to smile more and you will feel and look better. Smiling will also help others to see you in a positive light and smiling spreads a little joy. Smile even if you do not feel like it, because regardless of your current situation, if you think hard enough, there is something in your life that makes you smile. A smile is a small light of joy. We have been called to be a light in the world.
8. Show love 
There are many ways to show people you love them. Figure out ways to show others how much you love them and do it. Commit to spend quality time with your spouse, children and others without any technological interference. (You know what I mean…TV, tablet, cell phone, laptop, etc.) Be the positive difference in your homes, at the office, your place of worship, and choose every opportunity to show love.
9. Listen and hear before speaking 
We have two ears, so we might be quick to listen and slow to speak. (James 1:19) But, listening must involve hearing and understanding. Try to listen and understand the speaker before speaking. Choose your words carefully, and in the mist of conflict attack the issue and not the character of the person.
10. Celebrate 
Most importantly, get in touch with the Creator and be a follower and doer of His Word. Depend on His love, understanding, provisions, and teachings to guide and direct your journey. When you fail, acknowledge failure, and ask for forgiveness. Once you have sought G-d’s forgiveness, keep moving forward in the purposes divinely specified for you. Believe that G-d loves you and desires the best for you; then love yourself as if you believe G-d truly loves you, and love others accordingly. Celebrate each day the goodness of the L-rd*, your life, your family and all that helps you fulfil your purpose.
#DocsMusings,
*Note: The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One True One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the entire universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the One True G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment. The first commandment directed believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.
Ever heard the following?
For me, they all mean the same thing…
Recently, I read that achievement seldom produces a sense of lasting happiness as one might think. I can truly attest to this. After receiving my doctorate, I thought I would be so happy, but shortly after graduation, (which by the way, no one could attend), it was really no big deal, and I have considered going back to school, and getting another graduate degree. For me, being in school afforded me a definite sense of purpose, a refuge, a circle of acquaintances, and a goal to work towards. In other words, a sense of direction. I have found, and other experts as well, that once a person finally accomplishes a goal, at least two new goals come along unexpectedly. And, that which we worked so hard to achieve, and chased after for so long, soon becomes the status quo. Yet, our achievement though exhilarating, along with a sense of satisfaction, we are also frustrated and desiring a new adventure or goal. In my case, I had mixed emotions. On the one hand I was excited about earning my degree; yet, I thought and felt…now what? What am I going to do now?
Consider other goals, whether losing weight, getting a promotion, some business venture, exotic vacation or even considering marriage. If you have ever been in love, then, you know about those special moments of euphoria and the fluttering of your heart when you think about that special someone, hear their voice and/or lay your eyes on them! Remember when you couldn’t wait to see them or hear their voice, or how much you hated to say goodbye? Then something began to change, especially after the honeymoon for at least 50% of marriages in this country.
How many of you longed, even ached to get married? Many people who have anxiously anticipated being married to their lover, soul mate, and/or best friend of choice in a blissful ever after scenario, have been devastated by the nightmare they felt trapped in. Once married, they were disillusioned by the difficulties of living with this special someone, and often times fled the relationship. Again, at least 50% of married folks in this country choose to flee their marriages, though some need to flee, many of us are afraid or unwilling to die to self and be a loving spouse. Yet, those who endure to the end tend to thrive through the challenges, and happily live their lives with their mate.
Our goals in life whether reached or not gives us a sense of purpose or at least helps us to feel worthy of this opportunity called life. However, I have found that often times, people are so focused on the goal, that they fail to enjoy the process, or give up when matters get difficult. I have been guilty of this.
Many of us get so focused on the goal, that we fail to enjoy the process or we flee from our purpose in hopes of escaping whatever we find problematic. Yet, in my many years on planet earth, I have come to realize that we/I must enjoy the process in all areas of my life, or life is just existing; or in many cases just working to survive and going through the motions.
Now, when it comes to work, I can hang with the best of them. As a matter of information, all the letters behind my name were earned as an adult, raising children, while unemployed, during an extremely challenging marriage(s), during a divorce(s), working full time, deaths of family members, and/or working full time. I know about working, multi-tasking and the like. I mean intimately acquainted with trying to do it all! Even now, as a mature woman working full-time, building a business, co-producing a radio program, writing a book, this blog, etc., more often than not, I feel like the absent-minded professor running around doing it all, yet doing nothing or at least not getting it all accomplished in the manner most effective without sleep deprivation, irritability, stress and the like!
Still, in spite of the challenges or the goals we aim for, I have learned that we must enjoy life along the way. I have found that doing the following things on a consistent basis are extremely helpful for enjoying the process of life as you reach for your goals, after achieving your goals; and then reaching for new or higher goals. We should always strive for higher and worthy goals! This is a biblical principle handed down from Heaven. Therefore, I live by the following and I encourage you to embrace many if not all as well:
Healthy Choices: Sleep/rest is a healthy choice, but also the foods we eat. Choose clean foods, minimize fast foods, processed foods, soda and sugar. You will feel different and be more energetic with mental clarity.
Worthy goals, dreams, and desires, as well as working towards them have their place. Yet, on the way to success, remember to enjoy life throughout the process. Once you achieve whatever goal(s) you are longing for, enjoy that process and the new goals soon to follow. Again, enjoy wherever you find yourself in life, otherwise, what awaits you on the other side, may be more disappointing than you imagined.
#DocsMusing,
Dr. Dee
Recently, I found my journal from 2009 as I was watching my grandson. As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-d[1] has brought me! Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years earlier, with the official separation on July 25, 2009.
However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way! The purpose of this writing is to praise G-d for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love and hopefully to encourage you, my reader! As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life. Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember! Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.
My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-d had waiting for me! All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom! When I became single, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all the time. Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior. There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me. Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living within my shattered world once again. 
Then, as time passed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry. So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, I look great, and I am ready for G-d’s choice (husband) to step into my life. I am also ready for ministry, as G-d has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors! Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.
In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-d is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes. The MOMENT we hold now is not our final destiny in Mashiach (Christ)! This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty. There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and His promises for those who trust in Him.
Please know and believe that G-d will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog. He will see you through and He does hear our prayers. He is the Resurrection and the Life. I am so happy that I serve the Living G-d whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!
Be encouraged today, and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will be better or bitter on the other side of your drama.
The choice is always your call.
DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
**********************
[1]The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One True One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment. The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to reiterate Who He Is. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22
Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division. Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder. Anger affects every cell in the body.
Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.
The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on oth
Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?
We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities. Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”. As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.
Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.
I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).
DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
I found this clip and thought it was very interesting. So many of us younger folks fail to take care of our bodies. Dr. Eugster is an inspiration. Check him out on YouTube and get motivated to eat right and exercise. Find an eating plan that is right for you. I believe we can age gracefully and stay healthy until our number is up. If you agree, then join me in living a healthy life.
Just Musing,
Dr. Dee
