Category Archives: Relationships

Skin Color Shouldn’t Matter

Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Self, Relationships
As the flowers of the fields are created differently thus are we.

June 12 of each year is called Happy Loving Day in the US. This day is about spreading love, but particularly honors the fight of Mildred and Richard Loving, who fought against the laws confining them and everyone else from marrying interracially. Mildred was black and Richard white.

 ‘The freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual, and cannot be infringed by the state.’ Supreme Court Decision 1967. [https://nationaltoday.com/national-loving-day/]

As a baby boomer, it is difficult to imagine a time when folks could not marry their lover based on skin color. And though I was 11 when the Supreme Court decision was rendered in 1967, it is extremely perplexing to imagine that such a law even existed. [Read more about the Lovings at the link above.]

Today, interracial couples are almost common place in various parts of the country/world as well as seen in various advertisements on TV, movies, social media, etc. However, though some people may stare and/or speak with admiration, envy or disdain, people of different races, religions, and/or ethnic groups, fall in love and decide to marry. Dating and/or marrying someone outside your race can be based on a mutual attraction of love, preference, social environment and more. Yet, couples who choose to date/marry someone of a different ethnic persuasion should not be a concern to anyone. People are free to choose their mates for reasons, which make sense to them at least in some cultures.

My point, our current societal climate seems to pit people of color against white people, particularly white men. In addition, many  see “color” in every nook and cranny from the schoolhouse to the jail house; from the Church and to the Synagogue, etc. This playing of the race-card, victimization or just attempting to keep racism at the forefront in America fails to honor the plight, determination and courage of many people who have systematically and personally made a conscious effort to embrace the mantra of Dr. Martin Luther King – “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Instead, some continue to serve up strife and division to perpetuate an anti-love motif. 

In some ways it feels like we are traveling backwards to a time of hatred when skin color mattered for many. Skin color is not up for discussion in the womb and nor should it be when the miracle of birth occurs. You enter into this world based on the genetics of your biological parents, but ultimately G-D decides. If we are not annoyed, to put it mildly by our own skin color or the color of someone else, then we find other forms of hatred to masturbate or satisfy our wicked desires to be better or superior to others and this ought not to be. Many times we are unwilling to have conversations about differences under the guise of mutual honor and respect. In my opinion, we should just accept others for who they are and have the courage to discuss differences and/or biases as opportunities avail themselves with a growth mindset. But many times we fail to do this. And, why is this?

Is our society so narcissistic that we fail or refuse to provide for others that which we personally demand? Are we so blinded by our own ideologies that any other opinion is foolishness to our sensibilities? Are we just straight up afraid that the other person may actually be right? Whatever it is that keeps us from truly loving and respecting each other as ourselves needs to go… irrespective of our spiritual beliefs. [Lev. 19:18] We cannot continue to function as a society in a bloodbath of hatred and disdain, strife and division. Otherwise, we sprint to our demise as a society.

Yet, how do we move past our dysfunction of hate and negativity? Our only answer is in the Savior of the world and thus the individual Savior of our souls. Yeshua is willing and able to assist us, if we choose to allow ourselves to be touched by His love and grace. In Yeshua (Jesus) all that we need is met and sustained by Him, even our ability to believe and have faith is a gift from the Heavenly Father through Yeshua. [Ephesians 2:8ff]. The question – are we willing to submit ourselves to His love and authority? Are we willing to love our neighbors?

So, let me circle back to my original thoughts…We celebrated Happy Loving Day on June 12, but how many people really embrace “loving” each other? There are three types of love. We have eros – erotic love; philo – brotherly love; and agape – the love of ABBA (the Father) which is completely unconditional love. [John 3:16-18] Love is a word which requires action and is evident by a product or production with a receiver. One cannot say they love with lacking evidence. One cannot say they love with lack of effort. Love brings about joy, happiness, is not rude, does not rejoice in troubles, is not easily angered, does not keep track of wrongs and does not care about the skin color of a fellow human being. [I Corn. 13: 1-13] 

It is my belief that as humans we can never reach the level of agape love and function accordingly. We are imperfect beings who imperfectly represent the image of G-D. However, we can always strive towards brotherly love and be willing to love our neighbors as ourselves; (neighbors include everyone, spouses, ex-spouses and  even enemies) and treat each other accordingly. Is this an easy feat…of course not! But in Yeshua all things are possible, starting with our motives and willingness to love and serve G-D as well as others. 

Let me encourage us: Today, may we make a conscious effort to see others based on their character and not on their skin color or some other biological feature. But, let us implore the Ruach HaKodesh (Spirit of G-D) to help us see others as He sees us, i.e., needing salvation, love, compassion, understanding, a helping hand and more. Making our world a better place begins with the person in the mirror. Commit to reflect on your image in the mirror and determine to be the best version of yourself in Yeshua.

Much Love,

Dr. Dee

Some Believed in Yeshua

Coming Kingdom, Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Self, Relationships, Today's Society

42 Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: 43 For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of G-D. John 12:42

We are exactly the same as the leaders of Yeshua’s day. We may call it “PC” (politically correct) or some other nefarious term, but really, we are afraid to speak the truth when it is contrary to the popular belief of others. We, and I mean we, are afraid of ridicule, persecution, rejection not to mention physical harm or even death! Many times, we are afraid to speak up concerning our beliefs in G-D, because we imagine the worst of what man can do to us, rather than trust what G-D will do for us and through us!

Yet, our actions based in fear are the results of our preconceived notions of how the end will materialize. However, we can’t know the “end” until the “end” comes…which may turn out in a way which was beyond our comprehension, good, and yes, possibly bad. Therefore, we must trust in G-D’s best for us and have faith in Him regardless of the outcome.

Fear, unhealthy fear is a debilitating force, which retards our growth and impedes our obedience to G-D’s teachings. The leaders in the above passage were afraid of being ostracized from the synagogue; and, like many of us, we are afraid of being ostracized at work, in our churches/synagogues, among our friends, family, social media, etc. Contrarily interesting, many of us are also afraid of success in our personal and professional relationships even in our marriages. We are frightened of the “good” or “great” that could be within our reach; therefore, we erroneously judge “our today” by “our yesterdays”. We predetermine our outcome by speaking negativity, and thrive in self-fulfilled prophecy and arrogance when things turn out just like “we knew they would”.

Yet, I believe in the Scripture, which suggests that all things work for our good (Romans 8:28) when we love the L-RD. His forgiveness, grace and mercy allow us chances to experience newness as we grow in Him. A common saying, but apropos; each morning is a new opportunity. What are the new opportunities? A plethora of experiences both great, good and not so good, which bring us closer to the Father, forgetting and forgiving our past and pressing forward in Him. Consider these two Scriptures which align with this truth:

Brethren, I count not myself yet to have apprehended: but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before… Phil. 3:13

Then Yeshua (Jesus) declared, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for the kingdom of G-D.” Luke 9:62

Consequently, we cannot walk in newness, if we are hanging onto the horrors of yesteryear and/or the “good ole days”. We must realize that the awful things which happened to us do not determine our final destination in Yeshua. We must choose to forgive ourselves and those who betrayed our trust, so we can freely walk in the newness of being in Messiah. Regardless, of the atrocities, losses, etc., like Yeshua, we must choose to forgive in order to realize true freedom.

I believe, if we view our past as lessons, we would not embrace our negative personal histories and allow them to massage our souls. Yeshua is our story when we trust in Him. He is our Creator, Narrator, Guide, Model and so much more! If we believe His assessment of us as His Beloved, then our lives will always be pressing forward, instead of stuck in the murky or gloomy past of our experiences. Will life always be easy in Messiah? The answer is obvious! Yet, it is better to walk and trust in Him; than wallow in damaging and debilitating past experiences.

I know how difficult it is to let go of hurts, injustices, abuse and terror. But to live festering in all the bad things that others have done or the grievous things we have done to others and/or ourselves… is slavery at its best. Yeshua came to proclaim the Good News of the Coming Kingdom of G-D and to destroy our bondage to the tyranny of sin. (Romans 6:18) Yeshua did His part and continues to do His part. It is up to us to believe in His work on the torture stake, and the work He continues to do in our hearts when we trust in Him. It is our responsibility as His Bride to walk out the faith we claim in Him.

Will you believe in Him today and His ability to help you press forward in His newness? Will you ask Him to help you practically live out your faith? It is a daily-process, but worth the effort when we love the L-RD!

#DocsMusings In Him,

Dr. Dee

Still Growing…

Health and Wellness, Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Self, Relationships

Note: I was looking at some of my old posts and felt this one was worth posting again with some new additions. If you find this post worthy of sharing, please share.

Recently, I found a 2009 journal of mine as I was watching my grandson.  As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-D has brought me!  Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years prior, with the official separation on July 25, 2009.

However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way!  The purpose of this writing is to praise G-D for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love!  As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life.  Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember!  Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.

My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-D had waiting for me!  All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom!  When I became single again, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all of the time.  Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior.  There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me nor did the world care.  Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living my shattered world again.

Then, as time progressed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry.  So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, still working on my weight, and I am ready for G-D’s choice (husband) to step into my life.  I am also ready for ministry, as G-D has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors!  Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.

In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-D is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes.  The MOMENT we hold is not our final in Mashiach (Messiah)!  This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty… There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and remember Him when as we are holding unto His promises for those who trust in Him.

Please know and believe that G-D will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog.  He will see you through. He does hear our prayers.  I am so happy that I serve the Living G-D whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!

Be encouraged today and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah, nor are you defined by your circumstances. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will BETTER or BITTER on the other side of your drama. Did you notice one “letter” determines your heart-condition!

The choice is always ours.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Ready to call it quits?

Loving G-d, Relationships, , , , , , ,

Ready and eager to call it quits on your marriage? Ready to throw in the towel, because everything isn’t perfect and does not meet your fantastical expectations? Then consider the following.

Lifelong commitment or a covenant marriage is not what most people think! It isn’t waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It isn’t cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep, peacefully every night after making wild passionate love. It’s not a clean home filled with the sounds of laughter each moment or the joyful sounds of children/teens serenely communicating.

Marriage includes but is not limited to someone who steals all the covers and snores! Marriage sometimes includes slammed doors, yelling, and harsh words.  Marriage at least between humans is stubbornly disagreeing, and giving each other the silent treatment, until someone decides to relinquish with hopefully a tender heart.  A tender heart which has healed and desires forgiveness both ways, but also where each person is accountable for their actions.

Marriage is coming home to the same person every day. Yet, coming home to that same person should not be boring or dreaded, but coming home to someone you know loves and cares about you. Loving as I have said so many times, means loving what we hate about the person, because it makes up the whole person. Folks, loving means dying to self and doing your part all the time. Marriage is laughing about all the great and stupid things you did together.

Marriage is about dirty laundry, unmade beds, messing garages, burnt meals and boring sex. Marriage is about the great times and difficult times, sickness and death. A marriage that desires to please G-D is about helping each other with the hard work of life! Marriage is sometimes sacrifice and selflessness. Marriage is about shutting your mouth sometimes, instead of spewing nagging and contentious words! Marriage is about cuddling with your lover when life is crazy and only tears flow, because words cannot express the anguish. Marriage is about making time for each other no matter what and much more.

When the honeymoon is over, sometimes marriage can be challenging. This person you love so much, chooses to make you feel loony tuned, insane, crazy and thoughtless all at once. Loving someone is not easy! But loving someone is worth the energy and time invested. I beseech you, bar abuse; do not give up on your marriage and loving the person you decided to make your lifelong partner. Again, it is well worth the effort and pleases our Father.


Yeshua calls us His bride. He put in love, mercy, forgiveness, sacrifice, effort, time and death, so we may have life in Him. Consider your spouse, if Yeshua delivered so we can have life and steadfastness in Him; certainly, we can extend love, time and effort to our spouses as children of the Most High G-D.

Covenantal marriage means upholding your vow even when you are ready to quit! Think about it. Yeah, you may be ready to quit, but don’t! Seek counsel if needed, but at least attempt to do your part to uphold your vow.

#DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Do you emasculate your man?

Loving G-d, Relationships, , , , , , ,

Men are no good! They can’t be trusted! Men just want sex! They’re animals! Men are worthless! You don’t need a man to take care of you! The hell with them!

Have you heard such comments from friends, family, and/or co-workers? Have you paid attention to how men are ridiculed in the media, either blatantly or subtlety? I would venture to say we have all heard the aforementioned comments and many more; and we have been entertained by such foolish and degrading comments. Now, before you get tangled in a tizzy, the focus on this blog is about our men; husbands, brothers, sons and/or friends. So don’t go writing me about the injustices inflicted on women. I know all too well about the mistreatment of women, been there and have my graduate degrees with honors on being mistreated!

However, as a mother and grandmother of men, I want to know, why as a society are we hell-bent on demonizing our men! Think about it. The depth of the question is beyond the scope of this blog, but the evidence is all around us via media, within our work places, churches, synagogues and more. Feel free to email me with your thoughts.

We have moved so far away from the principles of G-d’s Torah (His teachings, laws) especially in our marriages that many women emasculate or belittle their husbands even sons, either intentionally or unintentionally on a regular basis. Sometimes, emasculation occurs during the dating process leaving some women to wonder, why has the man disappeared! So, if you do not espouse having a relationship with the Creator through His Son Yeshua, you might want to stop reading.

If you are still reading, marriage is G-d’s design between a biological male and a biological female; and within His design, He decided on the roles for each person…both equal in His sight and joint heirs in Yeshua, but different roles. Read your Bible. (Ephesians 5) However, regardless of one’s position within the marriage husband or wife, BOTH – (I am speaking to believers and followers of Yeshua) are required to love and respect each other, first submitted to G-d and then to each other. Yet, G-d told man to love His wife, because He knew men would struggle with the love part; and He told women to respect their husband and submit to His g-dly leadership, because He, G-d knew women would have difficulty respecting their man if He didn’t do or live up to their expectations.

Admit it! Many of us have extreme difficulty respecting our men/husbands, especially if they are inadequate in some way, including the bedroom. Thus as women, we can speak very harshly to our spouses in ways that wound them deeply, and in a manner which does not bring honor to G-d. G-d expects better from us and with the help of His breath, His Spirit, we can and should do better.

Some of us have been raised under an umbrella of criticism of men, because of negative female experiences. Others, joke about the “stupidity” of men, and are oblivious to how the toxicity of their words hurt men whether spouse, son, or friend. The media slams men due to the liberal notions prevalent in our society as well as undesirable actions of many men. Now, I get that every man who feels emasculated or small has not been verbally abused by his girlfriend, mother or wife…but that is not the point of this blog. I am again, speaking to women who claim to love and serve G-d; yet, WE have failed in honoring and respecting our men in some cases. And, though in the heat of the moment or in the “fun” of the moment it may seem justified; we are called to always show honor and respect to our men.

According to a recent article, a study was done in 2014 conducted by a neuropsychologist, Dr. David Lewis. This study demonstrated that men experienced more physiological changes in an emotional experiment than their female counterparts. This study according to the article in healthyway.com men feel emotions just as much as women, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to societal expectations. Seriously, do we need a study to explain this to us? G-d’s word is clear on the vileness of the tongue and the necessity to love. (Ep. 4:29; Prov. 15:1; James 3:2-10) Any feeling human being is going to experience emotional currents good and harmful. The expression of such feelings or lack of expression may be different, but emotional feelings are part of being human. My point, contrary to our stance on how men may or may not feel, it is imperative as women of Yeshua that we treat our men with respect.

Listed below are some comments, we make intentionally or unintentionally, especially when we are totally and completely enraged with our spouse, fuming with resentment and/or full of self-righteousness. I confess, I have made derogatory remarks to the men I claimed to love. It wasn’t a pretty picture at best! I regret the disrespect I spewed in a belittling manner and I have suffered such grave loss because of my sins. Thank G-d for His forgiveness and learning from my mistakes.

Emasculating Actions/Comments:

  • Calling him degrading names. In a loving relationship, there is no room for name calling. Men have feelings too, and to tell a man he has no courage, a loser, etc., because maybe he is not dealing with a situation per your methodology will cause him to feel insignificant as a man. Worst, hit him with derogatory sexual remarks…duck for cover!  (No physical violence of course.) Words bring life or death to the listener. Harsh words are a breeding ground for the evil one to infect the relationship with bitterness, hatred anger, adultery, and death (divorce).

 

  • Pointing out his failings. Like us women, men are well aware of their flaws and do not need us to point them out or attempt to change them. In a loving relationship, we have to “love” the things we hate about the person, because part of loving someone is loving the whole person. If something is really an issue, then take the concern to G-d in prayer, and ask Him first to deal with the matter; and then to help you speak in kindness if applicable. And, remember, ladies, we spend an excessive amount of time and billions of dollars per year working on own our flaws. Maybe, we should spend just as much effort working on our inner woman.

 

  • Rescuing him in a conversation. This might happen in a conversation with others and you jump in, pushing him aside and begin to talk or argue for him. The fact that you intervened may cause him to believe you think he is unable to talk or defend his argument. Let him talk. He is a grown man and does not need a mother. If you are having difficulty keeping quiet, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to pray and adjust.

 

  • Criticizing him to family/friends. Keep your mouth closed! Personal matters between a husband and wife ought to stay between the couple, bar needing some counselling for a serious matter. Otherwise, criticizing your spouse because he doesn’t put down the toilet seat or eats with his mouth open or whatever, only glorifies that which you hate and makes him look awful to others. The point…don’t badmouth your man! Like momma use to say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all! Besides, many times when women badmouth their spouses, long after the couple has made up, others remember and view him less favorably.

 

  • Humiliating him in public. Arguments are inevitable. Couples disagree. Keep it private. If one argues in public, and the man retorts too loudly, then he could be labeled an abuser or the cops called. If there is arguing in front of the family, dad, brothers or Big Mama, then the issue escalates; and again, others will view him negatively. And, besides ladies, think about your reputation as a follower of Yeshua?

 

None of us are perfect, but as women who believe in Yeshua, we are commanded to respect our spouses. (Ephesians 5:33) And, though there are many other ways to emasculate or belittle our men, we ought to make a concerted effort to honor and cherish them. When we fail to honor the men in our lives, we ought to ask for forgiveness, even if we have belittled our sons, brothers, or other men.

If you have always honored and respected your spouse and others, then you are blessed and very special. For those who struggle in this area, ask G-d to help you. He is always available to hear our prayers and help us to overcome those sins which easily beset us.

Just saying,

Dr. Dee

Note: Image was taken from www.duckgo/free images – no copyright infringement intended.

Today, I will be grateful!

Loving G-d, Loving Self, Relationships, , , ,

The problem with materialism is that it makes people feel less competent, reduces feelings of relatedness and gratitude, reduces their ability to appreciate and enjoy the good in life, generates negative emotions, and makes them more self-centered. (Author Unknown)

In a 2015 HUFFPOST article by Lindsay Holmes, she penned there were 100 things we could be grateful for. I suggest there are 1000’s of things we can be grateful for if we consider all that life has shown us currently and in our previous years. 

Materialism is a tendency to consider physical comfort and material possessions more important than spiritual values. Thus, if a person believes that things are more important than spiritual values or having a relationship with Yeshua (Jesus); can a person ever truly be grateful or content in the moment?

Regardless of where you find yourself in life as of right now…happy, sad, rich, poor, broke, sick, single, married, homeless, etc., there is ALWAYS something to appreciate about today! Today is all we have – yesterday is gone and who knows about tomorrow. So, why are you thankful?

Here are just some of the reasons I am grateful: 

1. Messianic Believer and saved by the redemptive work of Yeshua (Jesus). I could end       my list here and that would be MORE than enough.
2. Health
3. Sanity of mind – at least on most days!
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Enemies…they help me practice kindness
7. Strangers…not friends yet
8. Employment
9. Food
10. Clothes
11. Housing
12. Transportation
13. Place of Worship
14. Weather
15. Living in America
16. Living in the neighborhood of my choice
17. Freedom of speech
18. Entertainment
19. Challenges
20. Wonderings
21. Opportunities
22. Etc.

There are many things I can be grateful for under each category listed above and more. There are many things in your life you can be grateful for as well, and give G-d praise for His overwhelming love.


Let me challenge you/us to consistently thank G-d for His goodness and His provisions with a heart of love and gratitude. Today, I will be grateful for this day! How about you?

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Note: Photos – No copyright infringement is intended

Holidays in the Rockies

Loving Others, Relationships, , , , , , ,

My first holidays in Denver, CO…High Holy Days, Thanksgiving, and Christmas has been bittersweet, but I am grateful for the experiences and the people I have met, the fun and laughter!

This past Christmas (2017) though I was feeling somewhat lonely, my daughter and her husband made the day so extremely pleasant. I don’t celebrate Christmas in the tradition sense as I celebrate my faith through Messianic Judaism. However, I always enjoy family and friends, and we usually get together on Christmas and celebrate being together. Anyway, it was just the three of us, and we talked, laughed, ate and enjoyed the fruit of the vine. The day was beautiful both spiritually and physically as it had snowed the day before. We enjoyed a “white” Christmas day. My two sons “faced timed” me, so I got to see them and my grandchildren. All in all, the day was very lovely, and I am extremely appreciative for the love of family.

Today, it is still snowing in Denver, and as I sit here writing by my fireplace and gazing out of the window, I am enthralled by the beauty of my surroundings. Denver is a very unique and crowded city, but the beauty of the mountains, the weather, and for the most part, the people makes Denver a great lay-over spot. Why lay-over? Because, I am not sure I want to stay here “forever.” But, for now, my move here has been very beneficial.

Since July of this year, I have gone more places and done more things than I have done in years when I lived in Georgia. I like the Shul where I attend. I have met many pleasant people, and have enjoyed their company. I have found most people to be very friendly and helpful, and I really like welcoming people.

During the Thanksgiving break, my family (mom, nieces, son and grandson) came out for a visit and that was wonderful! I miss them all very much, especially my grandson. While my family was here, we did some sightseeing, and we managed to get up to Red Rocks…totally loved that place and can’t wait to go to a concert there. We ate at a few of my favorite places, shopped , and walked the city of Denver. Again, we had a ball and I can’t wait to see them in the summer!

That’s all I’ve got for now! Have an awesome Holiday and remember to tell someone you love them, while you have a chance.

Just Musing!

Dr. Dee

 

 

Hatin’

Are there people in your life that you just don’t like and do not trust? Frankly, there are people in my life that I do not like and do not trust! However, because I love G-d and wish to please Him, I am committed to love and respect them, and attempt to understand them and their ways. In other words, I am committed to building bridges of friendship and respect! Why – because, after loving G-d with all of our hearts, souls, minds and bodies, we are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. Who is my neighbor? Everyone outside of myself, including my family and friends.

In my attempts to do right first by G-d and then others, I find myself searching for the reasons why I do not like certain people. In my search, I have found that those who think they are better than I am, or those that ridicule others, or are just plain mean, evil, and those who lack integrity to name a few, just simply get on my nerves. Yet, I am sure I get on the nerves of others, even though I may fail to see why!

celebrate-life-poster

Therefore, as a quick reminder as we are visiting our friends, families, in-laws and outlaws, during this season, let us remember that everywhere we go, we prove who we are, and who we belong too. If we belong to the Father of Heaven and Earth, we are obligated to treat others in ways, which draw them to Him. We are obligated to die to ourselves and search for ways to allow the light of HaShem to shine forth. Mostly, we are obligated to pray for our attitudes and ourselves, and to ask G-d to help us see others as He sees them – mainly…needing Him! Then, we must pray for those who grate our souls, and ask G-d to help us be loving and kind towards them! We must remember we are in need of a Savior as well.

If you belong to the living G-d, enjoy your family, friends, outlaws and in-laws, and enjoy all your blessings from Him! Are there people in your life that you just don’t like and do not trust?  Live, laugh, and love and don’t waste time hatin’ on others. Instead, live the best you can being the best  you can.

#DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Challenging Relationships

Loving G-d, Loving Self, Relationships, , , , , , , , ,

couple on red couchRelationships can be challenging especially when goals and desires are different, and the marriage lacks love and friendship.  I guess the ultimate goal of being together in a marriage and being happy is determined by the love factor and our determination to get through difficulties which will arise.

Steve Harvey wrote a book, which states, if a man tells you “we are friends” then believe it. This statement for many women may give them the impression that more will come, and possibly more will come down the line, but maybe not. I have spoken to many people who claim their relationship started off as friends, and then they married each other. Their marriage is like being married to their best friend, and they are very happy. Others, have waited for many years for marriage to their special friend to no avail.

As I am writing this blog, I can think of at least two women who dated a man for over 20 years and they never married. Both women desired marriage, but marriage never came. In fact, one woman was with her special friend for over 21 years. They went their separate ways, he found salvation, another woman, and married his new friend within six months.

So my question, how long should a woman wait for a man to ask her to marry him? Now, I can hear many women say, why should she wait? Or, she can ask him? Hum, but, I’m of the mindset, that men should ask women. I admit, I’m old-fashioned and my thinking is based on the Bible – he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with G-d; but, I also believe, most women would prefer being asked by the love of their life, and not the other way black couplearound. Disagree? Tell me all about it. I would love to hear your opinions.

Anyway, back to my point. Relationships can be challenging, but also invigorating and wonderful. I believe it depends on the willingness of each person to give 100% of their efforts to enjoy the relationship and contribute doing their very best to be the kind of person which makes a loving and positive difference in the relationship. I believe couples have to be very best friends, in addition to being in-love, committed, loyal and G-d fearing to name just a few.

Relationships based on love, true love will stand the test of time.  Issues must  become non-issues when it comes to choosing to do what is required to work things out.  When things are fantastic, great, exciting, and new in a relationship – we know and understand how easy and glorious the flow between a couple can be.  However, when things are strained, stressful, challenging, etc., in those times, love must prevail, if the relationship is going to survive.

In case you forgot, no one is perfect, not me or you.  Therefore, what we bring to the table in a marriage is love and raloneespect, and a willingness to grow; that is, if you love someone and desire to be with them. If not, then single-hood has its advantages as many of us are well aware.  But, at the end of the day, having someone dear and special to navigate through this planet, called life, is worth the effort to be a great mate committed to love, transparency, and understanding towards their spouse.

As I have matured, I have met a lot of people with a lot of money! I mean multi-millionaires! By the way, I’m expecting my millions today in the mail! Seriously!! 

As I was saying, I have met and become acquainted with many rich people, and though their money can buy almost anything, it can’t buy happiness or a stress free marriage.  I know people who are just getting by (financially), but are extremely happy with their life-mate.

Again, my point, relationships can be challenging, but so is everything else at least some things at some point. Our choice…choose to love your spouse, because at the end of the day, we have to decide who and what is most important. As always, you decide…woman man quote

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Called to Action

Loving G-d, Loving Self, Relationships, , , , , ,

What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias. (http://www.onbeing.org/program/albert-einstein-the-negro-question-1946)

Albert Einstein, as many of you already know was a brilliant Scientist who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1921 for his general theory of relativity.  However, he was also very passionate about nuclear disarmament, and he actively spoke out against racism in this country. In 1946, he spoke on the ill effects of hatred and contributed financially and in other positive ways to make a difference in the lives of various African-Americans such as W. E. Dubois, Marian Anderson, and Paul Robeson. Yet, these additional remarkable humanitarian efforts, in my experiences, have not been taught in our history books.  Admittedly, I did not know this about Albert Einstein until recently.  This information was posted on social media during turbulent times in America at the writing of this post.

I checked several sources to confirm the aforementioned. Most references do not even mention his involvement in the civil rights activities of his day, and mainly discussed his legacy as a Scientist, his personal life and his flight from Germany. Yet, he was a man who believed in the fair treatment of all people and within his arena, he chose to speak on the ills of racism as he spoke about the theory of relativity. Albert Einstein had the courage to speak on the evils of racism in our country, and unfortunately, racism is still prevalent today.  Racism is a form of hatred, but all hatred, regardless of its forms wreaks havoc at every juncture, on every person. My point…

As I am writing this blog, in recent weeks, here in the United States of America, we have witnessed two African-American men killed by police officers, one of which was shot in front of his girlfriend and their four-year-old daughter; 5 white police officers gunned down in alleged retaliation, as well as 7 other police officers wounded; several unarmed Latino men killed by police officers; two bailiffs killed by an inmate during the transportation of that inmate; 49 people slaughtered in Orlando, and this is just a few murderous incidences monopolizing the current local news stations. The violence endured by these victims, their families, and their friends is incomprehensible. Few of us can truly relate to the horror of a loved one being killed within the confines of horrific hatred! At least I can’t imagine, but my/our hearts still ache for those who are subjected to acts of violence and loathing. So the question becomes, what can we do?

For me as a believer in the Highest G-d, I am thoroughly convinced that our first line of defense is humbling before our Creator in sincere and fervent prayer; believing, knowing and expecting Him to respond to our prayers. Our praying must be heartfelt and without ceasing. Second, I believe, we have to realize we are in a war, a spiritual war, and that the horrors of hatred are heart matters. G-d is on the only One equipped to move and change hearts, but He uses those of us willing to be His Messengers of Love. Once we realize that the battle is the L-rd’s, and we diligently plead for Him to move in our communities, our country, then we have to get up off our knees, and actively become involved in making a difference in the lives of others.

How can we make a difference? There are many obvious ways to make a difference, such as mentoring others, volunteering with various organizations, which seek to help end FreshPaint-quotethe violence, become more politically astute, and seek to work within the governmental system to get laws changed, etc., and vote for the candidates you believe will best help this country. Also, put your money in organizations that are positively serving the community. Stop spending your money with companies that exploit their workers and buy their goods from others who exploit their employees. In addition, begin to make a difference and show love to others, just by smiling, speaking to people, showing respect, being courteous, and like-wise teaching your children/grandchildren to do the same. Finally, speak up on behalf of those who are victims of societal ills, and take a positive stand for justice and righteousness.

If you are a believer in Judeo-Christian principles and live by the Word of G-d, then you know there is no color, gender, religious persuasion or other diversionary groupings in Yeshua (Jesus). We have been called to be One in Him, the only HOPE for our salvation in this life and the life to come. In our calling to be, means our calling to do. We are called to be people of actions. We are called to be G-d’s salt and light in the earth.

We must speak, live and take a stand for each other. Albert Einstein and countless others used their platforms to emphatically speak on manners contrary to the liberty of others. If something is wrong, we need to speak out and say it is wrong. We just can’t go along to get along. As people of the Most High G-d, we have to be willing to demonstrate what His love looks like in practical ways in our homes, work places, and everywhere we find ourselves in our daily lives.

Let me urge you to figure out how you can best show love towards your neighbor in order to bring about change; in order to chip away at the violence drowning us; in order to end bigotry, racism, or any other kind of ism. Again, Albert Einstein says it best: What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias.

It’s your call to action…

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Note:  The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of love, respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustain-er of the Universe. He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to understand my position. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.