We normally think of blood being thicker than water, especially when it comes to family. We hear the adage that family is the most important investment; they are the main ones we can depend on though we know this is not always the case. In Proverbs 18:24 it teaches that Some “friends” pretend to be friends, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother. (CJB) Another translation: Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family. (GW)

This Scripture emphasizes the devastation of a fake friend  and the profundity of being the type of friend that exemplifies stick-to-it-ness. This brief blog attempts to look at the latter portion of Proverbs 18:24 in relation to those we call “friends”. We all have folks in our lives we consider friends. What is your definition of a friend? Let’s consider…

Some of us have virtual friends…FaceBook, Instagram, SnapChat, Twitter or whatever other social media platforms you might find entertaining and/or fulfilling. Some of our friends are work-buddies, gym-buddies, synagogue-buddies, church-buddies, bar-buddies, shopping-buddies, neighbor-buddies, and the list goes on. Some people have folks around them as the Scripture suggests that just want to be with others for the sake of stroking their egotistical cravings and/or maybe to receive some tangible rewards. However, what is a true friend? I described types of friends, but what are the characteristics of a true friend? This Scripture brings up jarring points. One, some friends just want to destroy others or are not true friends…posers; and two, there is a loving friend who is more loyal than family.

How many people can stand and say, I have a friend who is more loyal than my family, my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother? Who can truly say this about any human being, other than Messiah, Himself? I know folks who claim this to be true. They have people in their lives who are closer and more loyal than their “blood” family members or their spouses for that matter. And, though I find this commentary astonishing and disheartening, I am not surprised. Assuming this statement is true, practically speaking as believers we are called to be friends to others. Therefore, what should our response include?

Obviously, as followers of Messiah, we live the best we can to be loyal family members as well as loyal friends. There is no competition between the two. We can be loving moms, dads, sisters, brothers, etc. and at the same time be loving friends to those we love who are not related to us by blood. Call me crazy, but I am a staunch believer that our hearts are big enough to love a lot of folks at various times in our lives, and then all at once, and into the future. There is room to love all, not necessarily loyal to all for obvious reasons, but the ability to love and care for others, and then to be the friend you want others to be to you…this is a worthy possible feat. This is the biblical principle of the golden rule.

 I just finished reading the letter to the Colossians and it is one of the richest letters in the Bible which exhorts us to practice our faith. The depth of this letter from Shaul to the Messianic Community in Colosse is beyond this blog. However, the following verses summarize the practical application of our faith, the kind of friend/person we should be and more.

Colossians 1:9–11 — G-D’S WORD Translation (GW)

⁹ For this reason we have not stopped praying for you since the day we heard about you. We ask ⸤G-D⸥ to fill you with the knowledge of his will through every kind of spiritual wisdom and insight. ¹⁰ We ask this so that you will live the kind of lives that prove you belong to the L-RD. Then you will want to please him in every way as you grow in producing every kind of good work by this knowledge about G-D. ¹¹ We ask him to strengthen you by his glorious might with all the power you need to patiently endure everything with joy.

The richness of these verses are slathered with practical application on how we should live as a friend, family member and/or responsible g-dly person. We should be praying, filled with the knowledge of His will, live lives pleasing to the Father in order to prove we belong to Him and strengthened by Him to endure with joy all that this life has for us. Our lives must be bathed in Him so that we can be a true and righteous friend. In addition, as we allow ourselves to be filled with His Will, we fulfill the commandment to love others as we love ourselves practicing forgiveness, honesty, bearing great fruit, exemplifying who we are in Messiah as G-D’s Holy Spirit directs. 

So, let me challenge you (me as well), as 2023 is fast approaching to examine yourself, your loyalties to others and your growth in the Messiah. Ask yourself, where are your commitments to your friends on the Richter scale so to speak? What harmony and g-dly-gifts do you bring to the table of being a fantastic friend? Are you an example of a possible worthy feat? Are you the friend you would want someone else to be to you? Can folks see and hear G-D’s heart emanating from you?

Figure it out, do what is required to show your heart to those you claim you love; but more importantly, be the example of who you claim to serve. Do it unto the glory of G-D and be that loyal friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister. 

That’s all I’ve got!

In Him,

Dr. Dee