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Zeal for Life
Tag Archives: health
Never Oblige Want…NOW
Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the fall colors, crisp cool breeze and the roar of burning wood crackling in the fireplace. I enjoy gatherings with family, friends and the laughter we share. The beauty of this season is a blessing; but, today, I miss my mom.
Thanksgiving was always about spending time with family and friends. As a kid, we had huge traditional turkey meals, laughter and fun! Thanksgiving was a time when we expressed how grateful we were for all the L-RD had done for us; and it was time to relish in those blessings and squash family squabbles. Yet, as time went on, holidays with family and friends changed. Life experiences either interfered or destroyed some of the precious times as the years progressed.
As I am writing this blog, my heart is heavy because I am not only missing my mom, but other members of my family who have passed from this life. And, honestly, I am just lonely for them. I spent a good part of this morning just reminiscing about some of our times together both wonderful and not so wonderful. Last year this time, I was with my mom while she was in hospice and though it wasn’t a traditional Thanksgiving, she was still on this side of heaven and we chatted and laughed together. Sometimes, I just wish I could talk to her.
Yet, even in my sadness today, I am extremely grateful for all ABBA has done for me and my family through Yeshua. He has done more for me than I deserve, and I am humbled by His great love. And, though I do not have any family in the state I am currently living in, I have friends who care about me and that helps tremendously when I am feeling down like today. But more importantly, I do not weep as someone without hope. And, I am grateful for the comfort of the L-RD.
Anyway, the point of this blog, love folks while you can. Hold on to the people who matter. Make time for each other and tell folks how much you love and care for them while they are in your midst. Don’t assume folks know how much you love and appreciate them. You know what they say about assuming.
Let me encourage you…get over yourself and let stupidity and bitterness go. Get over differences because soon and very soon they… and then you will be gone. Enjoy your family and friends like never before as if this is your last day together.
We only have now. What does your now look like?
Enjoy your holidays!
Dr. Dee
Ready to call it quits?
Ready and eager to call it quits on your marriage? Ready to throw in the towel, because everything isn’t perfect and does not meet your fantastical expectations? Then consider the following.
Lifelong commitment or a covenant marriage is not what most people think! It isn’t waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It isn’t cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep, peacefully every night after making wild passionate love. It’s not a clean home filled with the sounds of laughter each moment or the joyful sounds of children/teens serenely communicating.
Marriage includes but is not limited to someone who steals all the covers and snores! Marriage sometimes includes slammed doors, yelling, and harsh words. Marriage at least between humans is stubbornly disagreeing, and giving each other the silent treatment, until someone decides to relinquish with hopefully a tender heart. A tender heart which has healed and desires forgiveness both ways, but also where each person is accountable for their actions.
Marriage is coming home to the same person every day. Yet, coming home to that same person should not be boring or dreaded, but coming home to someone you know loves and cares about you. Loving as I have said so many times, means loving what we hate about the person, because it makes up the whole person. Folks, loving means dying to self and doing your part all the time. Marriage is laughing about all the great and stupid things you did together.
Marriage is about dirty laundry, unmade beds, messing garages, burnt meals and boring sex. Marriage is about the great times and difficult times, sickness and death. A marriage that desires to please G-D is about helping each other with the hard work of life! Marriage is sometimes sacrifice and selflessness. Marriage is about shutting your mouth sometimes, instead of spewing nagging and contentious words! Marriage is about cuddling with your lover when life is crazy and only tears flow, because words cannot express the anguish. Marriage is about making time for each other no matter what and much more.
When the honeymoon is over, sometimes marriage can be challenging. This person you love so much, chooses to make you feel loony tuned, insane, crazy and thoughtless all at once. Loving someone is not easy! But loving someone is worth the energy and time invested. I beseech you, bar abuse; do not give up on your marriage and loving the person you decided to make your lifelong partner. Again, it is well worth the effort and pleases our Father.
Yeshua calls us His bride. He put in love, mercy, forgiveness, sacrifice, effort, time and death, so we may have life in Him. Consider your spouse, if Yeshua delivered so we can have life and steadfastness in Him; certainly, we can extend love, time and effort to our spouses as children of the Most High G-D.
Covenantal marriage means upholding your vow even when you are ready to quit! Think about it. Yeah, you may be ready to quit, but don’t! Seek counsel if needed, but at least attempt to do your part to uphold your vow.
#DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
Do you emasculate your man?
Men are no good! They can’t be trusted! Men just want sex! They’re animals! Men are worthless! You don’t need a man to take care of you! The hell with them!
Have you heard such comments from friends, family, and/or co-workers? Have you paid attention to how men are ridiculed in the media, either blatantly or subtlety? I would venture to say we have all heard the aforementioned comments and many more; and we have been entertained by such foolish and degrading comments. Now, before you get tangled in a tizzy, the focus on this blog is about our men; husbands, brothers, sons and/or friends. So don’t go writing me about the injustices inflicted on women. I know all too well about the mistreatment of women, been there and have my graduate degrees with honors on being mistreated!
However, as a mother and grandmother of men, I want to know, why as a society are we hell-bent on demonizing our men! Think about it. The depth of the question is beyond the scope of this blog, but the evidence is all around us via media, within our work places, churches, synagogues and more. Feel free to email me with your thoughts.
We have moved so far away from the principles of G-d’s Torah (His teachings, laws) especially in our marriages that many women emasculate or belittle their husbands even sons, either intentionally or unintentionally on a regular basis. Sometimes, emasculation occurs during the dating process leaving some women to wonder, why has the man disappeared! So, if you do not espouse having a relationship with the Creator through His Son Yeshua, you might want to stop reading.
If you are still reading, marriage is G-d’s design between a biological male and a biological female; and within His design, He decided on the roles for each person…both equal in His sight and joint heirs in Yeshua, but different roles. Read your Bible. (Ephesians 5) However, regardless of one’s position within the marriage husband or wife, BOTH – (I am speaking to believers and followers of Yeshua) are required to love and respect each other, first submitted to G-d and then to each other. Yet, G-d told man to love His wife, because He knew men would struggle with the love part; and He told women to respect their husband and submit to His g-dly leadership, because He, G-d knew women would have difficulty respecting their man if He didn’t do or live up to their expectations.
Admit it! Many of us have extreme difficulty respecting our men/husbands, especially if they are inadequate in some way, including the bedroom. Thus as women, we can speak very harshly to our spouses in ways that wound them deeply, and in a manner which does not bring honor to G-d. G-d expects better from us and with the help of His breath, His Spirit, we can and should do better.
Some of us have been raised under an umbrella of criticism of men, because of negative female experiences. Others, joke about the “stupidity” of men, and are oblivious to how the toxicity of their words hurt men whether spouse, son, or friend. The media slams men due to the liberal notions prevalent in our society as well as undesirable actions of many men. Now, I get that every man who feels emasculated or small has not been verbally abused by his girlfriend, mother or wife…but that is not the point of this blog. I am again, speaking to women who claim to love and serve G-d; yet, WE have failed in honoring and respecting our men in some cases. And, though in the heat of the moment or in the “fun” of the moment it may seem justified; we are called to always show honor and respect to our men.
According to a recent article, a study was done in 2014 conducted by a neuropsychologist, Dr. David Lewis. This study demonstrated that men experienced more physiological changes in an emotional experiment than their female counterparts. This study according to the article in healthyway.com men feel emotions just as much as women, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to societal expectations. Seriously, do we need a study to explain this to us? G-d’s word is clear on the vileness of the tongue and the necessity to love. (Ep. 4:29; Prov. 15:1; James 3:2-10) Any feeling human being is going to experience emotional currents good and harmful. The expression of such feelings or lack of expression may be different, but emotional feelings are part of being human. My point, contrary to our stance on how men may or may not feel, it is imperative as women of Yeshua that we treat our men with respect.
Listed below are some comments, we make intentionally or unintentionally, especially when we are totally and completely enraged with our spouse, fuming with resentment and/or full of self-righteousness. I confess, I have made derogatory remarks to the men I claimed to love. It wasn’t a pretty picture at best! I regret the disrespect I spewed in a belittling manner and I have suffered such grave loss because of my sins. Thank G-d for His forgiveness and learning from my mistakes.
Emasculating Actions/Comments:
- Calling him degrading names. In a loving relationship, there is no room for name calling. Men have feelings too, and to tell a man he has no courage, a loser, etc., because maybe he is not dealing with a situation per your methodology will cause him to feel insignificant as a man. Worst, hit him with derogatory sexual remarks…duck for cover! (No physical violence of course.) Words bring life or death to the listener. Harsh words are a breeding ground for the evil one to infect the relationship with bitterness, hatred anger, adultery, and death (divorce).
- Pointing out his failings. Like us women, men are well aware of their flaws and do not need us to point them out or attempt to change them. In a loving relationship, we have to “love” the things we hate about the person, because part of loving someone is loving the whole person. If something is really an issue, then take the concern to G-d in prayer, and ask Him first to deal with the matter; and then to help you speak in kindness if applicable. And, remember, ladies, we spend an excessive amount of time and billions of dollars per year working on own our flaws. Maybe, we should spend just as much effort working on our inner woman.
- Rescuing him in a conversation. This might happen in a conversation with others and you jump in, pushing him aside and begin to talk or argue for him. The fact that you intervened may cause him to believe you think he is unable to talk or defend his argument. Let him talk. He is a grown man and does not need a mother. If you are having difficulty keeping quiet, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to pray and adjust.
- Criticizing him to family/friends. Keep your mouth closed! Personal matters between a husband and wife ought to stay between the couple, bar needing some counselling for a serious matter. Otherwise, criticizing your spouse because he doesn’t put down the toilet seat or eats with his mouth open or whatever, only glorifies that which you hate and makes him look awful to others. The point…don’t badmouth your man! Like momma use to say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all! Besides, many times when women badmouth their spouses, long after the couple has made up, others remember and view him less favorably.
- Humiliating him in public. Arguments are inevitable. Couples disagree. Keep it private. If one argues in public, and the man retorts too loudly, then he could be labeled an abuser or the cops called. If there is arguing in front of the family, dad, brothers or Big Mama, then the issue escalates; and again, others will view him negatively. And, besides ladies, think about your reputation as a follower of Yeshua?
None of us are perfect, but as women who believe in Yeshua, we are commanded to respect our spouses. (Ephesians 5:33) And, though there are many other ways to emasculate or belittle our men, we ought to make a concerted effort to honor and cherish them. When we fail to honor the men in our lives, we ought to ask for forgiveness, even if we have belittled our sons, brothers, or other men.
If you have always honored and respected your spouse and others, then you are blessed and very special. For those who struggle in this area, ask G-d to help you. He is always available to hear our prayers and help us to overcome those sins which easily beset us.
Just saying,
Dr. Dee
Note: Image was taken from www.duckgo/free images – no copyright infringement intended.
It’s All New…
So many new and exciting things have happened in my life, which have kept me very busy and distracted from writing.
I moved to Denver, Colorado in mid-July, (2017), so needless to say, I was quite occupied with moving preparations and settling into a new place and job. I am still settling in and getting use to the new area.
So far, I really like most things about Denver, especially the people and the healthy lifestyle. I am excited to see so many families out riding their bikes, walking, running and enjoying all the free events. I also really like the friendliness and helpfulness of the folks I have encountered. I am amazed at so many things to do, and at how many people seem to always be outside. I had the privileged of hiking at Mt. Falcon with the staff at the new school where I will be teaching Literacy. It was the first time in all my career that I have been involved with such a team building activity. It was exhilarating and tiring! I absolutely loved the experience and getting to know the fellow teachers!
I absolutely hate the congestion in the downtown Denver area. Between the traffic and the construction…it’s just not my cup of tea! 
Freeways are crazy, but so was the traffic in Atlanta. There is a lot of construction, apartments, townhouses etc. to accommodate all the folks moving to this area, and the rents are extremely expensive! I am not really sure why as the salaries are not that high. I live in an area where there are mostly apartments, condos and townhouses and to my amazement it is still very quiet! I am so grateful to live in such a very pleasant area.
There are so many positive things which have happened to me since moving to Denver,
and to try to name them all, I would leave some vital details out. Most of all, G-d’s hand is evident in this move and for that I am eternally indebted to Him for this new adventure. I am excited about the unknown, those hopes and dreams yet realized, and my contributions to this society.
On the flip side, I miss my family very much! I left my mom, my youngest son, grandson, a niece and a grand-niece as well as friends in Georgia. I miss them very much, but I am committed to staying in touch. I also have a son who lives in another country along with his wife and three children, and I miss them as well. Though there is physical distance I carry them daily in my heart, prayers and thoughts!
Like Abraham, I have left the familiarity…
Just Musing!
Dr. Dee
Free Gifts of Love
Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.– Tony Robbins
Interesting fact – wealth is not linked to happiness according to the latest research. After accounting for basic needs (food, shelter, and money for the basics), wealth has a relatively small effect on well-being, though many would disagree, the fact remains.
However, in a study undertaken at the University of British Columbia, Professor Elizabeth Dunn observed a much stronger correlation between positive emotions from giving money away than spending it. Interestingly, people with less money derived more happiness from giving money to charity. This fact is exemplified by many people such as the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and is the foundation for many who practice a life of faith. Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa and the Savior, Himself are most admired for their altruistic nature.
Giving money, giving one’s time and helping others creates feelings of love and happiness for both the giver and the recipient. Data from published documents suggests … volunteers have a lower risk of death than non-volunteers, as well as lower levels of depression and increased life satisfaction and enhanced well-being.
Now, I realize that some of you are skeptical and think this is rubbish. However, giving of money, time and/or resources is an exceptionally spiritual and powerful act which benefits the receiver and the giver. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35
Myriad numbers of people have made a lasting impression through giving, and in turn, received reciprocation of their love and kindness. In this blog, listed below are gifts of love more precious than momentary gifts and available to everyone who wants to make a positive difference in the life of others.
The Gift of a Smile
A warm smile is the universal language for kindness. William Arthur Ward
Smiling is a universal language of warmth, friendliness and invitation. A genuine smile can literally change the attitude of a downcast person or change a negative situation into a positive one. Smiling costs nothing, but impacts lives beyond the value of dollars and cents. Have you shared a genuine smile today?
The Gift of Actively Listening
Cell phones are like a third hand, an appendage that is attached and constantly monitored for our immediate response. Technology has its advantage to say the least, but technology has also rendered active listening null and void in many situations. Next time you are out, notice couples at dinner, or folks on the bus, train, plane, people standing in line for coffee, or wherever you find people; and notice…what are they doing? Checking their phones, talking on their phones, texting on their phones.
Yet, when we sit down, silence our phones, and look someone in the eyes giving them our complete attention, we are providing a gift of love. We are providing a gift of time, respect, care, and demonstrating that we are a good listener. When was the last time you silenced your phone, and actively listened to the person sitting across from you?
The Gift of Time
Flying time or time flies is a fleeting resource we can never get back. Some of the most rewarding professions are spent giving time to help others, such as doctors, teachers, fire fighters, etc. However, routinely volunteering, conversing with someone who needs counsel or just needs company; spouses spending quality time together outside of arguing and doing the routine things, benefits the giver and the receiver. Giving of one’s time is a vital gift and a gift that will always be remembered. When was the last time you spent quality time with your spouse, child, parent or friend where your time together was the priority and not your cell phone?
The Gift of Sincerity
Insincerity is rampant in our homes, communities and everywhere we find ourselves. Many people have agendas, which only masturbate their narcissistic desires. However, modeling and displaying genuine honor, honesty and strong character is a gift of love to those in your inner circle and beyond. Knowing and being with someone who is sincere is truly a gift of love that makes lasting impressions. How sincere are you, and are you known for being a sincere person of character?
The Gift of True Love
I believe we have been created to love and be loved. It is our highest calling to first love G-d, then others and ourselves. Sensitivity, compassion, and understanding towards others are wonderful gifts of true love. However, tough love is also necessary. Tough love from someone who recognizes a pattern of apathy, failure, especially from a g-dly parent or teacher, etc. requires some constructive feedback in order to grow and change. Someone who has the courage to lovely admonish, truly loves or cares for us and our growth.
Tough love is about seeing the greatness in someone, and encouraging them to reach for their highest potential, instead of wallowing in mediocrity. Tough love requires a response – courage from the giver, and humility from the receiver with a willingness to consider the constructive feedback. Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend…Proverbs 27:5-6
We are all capable of giving gifts of love if we choose to walk in kindness and love. We make choices every day as to how we are going to treat others, and thus how others will perceive us based on the gifts of love we display. Let me urge you to share the above gifts on a regular basis and make a difference in the life of the giver and the receiver. Remember, the greatest gift of love is to change oneself. Choose to generously give gifts of love.
#DocsMusings
Dr. Dee
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Don’t Worry Be Happy!
Don’t Worry Be Happy!
Do you remember Bob’s Marley song – Don’t Worry Be Happy? The point in the song, regardless of life’s challenges, don’t worry be happy! Yet, how can I be happy without faking it?
Happiness is based on what is happening in our lives and joy is the sense that all things are working for our good, because of the salvation we have in Messiah. So, inward and outward happiness is coupled with joy, and in order to walk in happiness, I/we have to practice many things. Listed below are just five notions I believe will help us be happy.
Be Grateful
True gratefulness exudes from a heart full of thanksgiving for all things in our lives from the smallest of things to the unexpected miracles in our lives. Just the fact that you can read this post is something to shout about and be grateful for! Have a grateful heart and mediate on all the wonderful blessings which surround you each day.
Be Light 
We are called to be light to others; to share the GREAT NEWS of love and salvation, and to model love and kindness. Make someone happy by being kind to them. Pay forward in love and generosity in someone’s life in ways which demonstrate the love of G-d.
Be Free
Sometimes I feel strangled by my past horrendous mistakes, and I have to really look within and question my faith system! If I continue to allow my mistakes to imprison me, then do I really believe I am forgiven? We have to let go of the past, forgive ourselves and believe we are forgiven. The past is really gone and there is no way to change it, NO WAY! So, why do we keep torturing ourselves with re-living past blunders AND relishing in the ancient hurts? The choice is ours – keep sinking in the horrors of yester-year or walk in freedom and newness of today?
Beautiful is Creation
When was the last time you sat on the beach and savored G-d’s handiwork? When was the last time you hiked through the park, or gazed at the stars, or listened to the melody of birds? G-d’s artwork glorifies His name and reminds us of the lovely home HE provided for us. Get out and spend time listening and observing nature. Relish in the creation G-d has made.
True Friends
One of the many things I love about my mother, is that she spends time with her friends on a weekly basis. They do all sorts of things together and often times she will fly to different parts of the country just to spend time with her friends. True friends are very hard to come by. But when you find a friend, spend time with them doing some fun things that will ensure happy times.
There are more things to come on what can make us happy, but ultimately, being happy is a choice. We choose to be depressed, sad and miserable or we choose to seek life, love, gratitude and wholeness.
What will you choose today?
#DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
If you found value in this post then share with your family and friends. Thank you in advance.Be
David…A Man After Him
How could King David be considered a man after G-d’s heart? Didn’t he commit murder, adultery? Wasn’t he a man of war and a liar? Yet, he was considered by G-d, a man after His heart! Interesting! I had a discussion with a friend on this point the other day in passing, and I found my efforts to help him see David as a man after G-d’s heart, futile. So, I decided to dig a little deeper to discover what made David so special in His eyes.
David is the only man who bears the inscription, a man after G-d’s own heart (1Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22) The name David in Hebrew means beloved and anyone who has attended a Synagogue or Church knows the story of the boy who slew the giant Goliath. Yet, we also know that David was a great and mighty king of Israel who also failed miserably. There are many reasons why David was called a man after G-d’s own heart, and if you compare the historical background of David against the ruling king prior to him, Saul, you will see why. I found three important universal reasons worth sharing.
David had unwavering faith
Before David slew the giant Goliath, he declared, The L-RD who delivered me from the paw of -the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said to David, ‘Go, and the L-RD be with you! (I Samuel 17:37) He had to depend completely on G-d in order to go forth as a boy to fight a giant with a rock and sling. His complete faith in G-d, pleased G-d. G-d desires our complete trust and faith in Him when we face various giants in our lives. I believe having complete faith in G-d is being completely convinced that He will act on our behalf; and being fully committed to His process. Is this easy? Certainly not, but we can grow in faith if we choose to believe and depend on Him.
David was grateful and He loved the Word of G-d.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name! (Psalm 100:4, ESV)
For I delight in Your commands because I love them. I lift up my hands to Your commands, which I love, and I meditate on Your decrees. (Psalm 119:47-48)
David is credited for writing over half of the Psalms, which are filled with awe, gratitude and a deep love for G-d and His Word. David, though riddled with failures as a king and a father, sought G-d’s face. David modeled a man after G-d’s heart, because he understood who was the ultimate King and Sovereign over the entire Universe. Who is Sovereign over your life?
David Repented
David’s infamous sins of adultery and murder confuse many of us as to how this man was so honored by G-d. Yet, after David committed his evil acts, he repented. David did not make excuses, but boldly admitted his failures. David ran to G-d and poured out his heart to the only One who could forgive and redeem him. Psalm 51:1-2 are the beginning words to David’s prayer of repentance to G-d:
Have mercy on me, O G-d, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! (Psalm 51:1–2)
David had a tender heart, unlike his processor, and this tender heart and deep love for G-d, I believe, earned him the epitaph of a man’s own heart after G-d. David had a soul that panted after G-d and understood his weaknesses as a man. Fortunately, G-d does not judge and see as other humans do, or even as we see ourselves. His judgment is based on His divine purposes, tender mercies and love.
We too, are riddled with failures, lusts and all matters of evil whether we choose to admit it or not. Our experiences on this earth have clouded our judgment, and often times have cloaked us in an egotistical self-delusional fog. Our hope lies not in our own devices, and grandeur narcissistic efforts, but in the One True G-d and Savior who came that we might life.
Now, I know there are many of you who do not believe in the salvation which is offered in Yeshua (Jesus), and certainly that is your right. However, for those who do seek His face and choose His saving grace, then it is safe to say that David left a model for all us to consider and to carry out in our lives.
David’s life must be examined in the context of the time he lived and the purposes of G-d for Israel, and not from a current New Testament lens or self-righteousness. Therefore, for anyone to think they can intentionally live a life of lust, murder, and debauchery, and think they can just ask for forgiveness as they go on their merry way, miss the great example David left for us, and miss seeing the weakness of this king.
G-d is never impressed with the outward appearance of religiosity. He looks on the heart of a person. He examines each person’s motives. G-d, I believe understands our frailty better than we do, and I believe because of His magnificent and incomprehensible love for us, he willing forgives us when we seek Him. I contend, that we are all a David, weak, frail, in need of G-d’s mercy and strength that only His under-girding can offer. However, we too can be a David when we walk in unwavering faith, gratitude, love for G-d’s Word, His salvation plan, and repentance.
As always, the choice is ours. Who will you choose today?
#DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee (If you found value in this post, then please share.)
Crumbs of Love~Crumbs of Hope
Have you ever loved someone who only throws crumbs of love your way, giving you crumbs of hope? I have, and what a waste of living! Too often as women, we set our sights on a particular man, and our hearts soar with anticipation and expectations. Our hopes and fantasies sometimes blinds our vision and dulls our hearing in the hopes that our love desire will somehow be who and what we think we need, and yearn for in our lives. That’s a mouth full!
We sit by the phone incessantly waiting for a call, text or some other message. We scour our emails to ensure we haven’t missed a note, or we peruse social media. Sometimes, we find excuses to call our love interest, or be available at their beck and call. And, my on my…. when we are finally privileged with their presence, our hearts throb, and we think a piece of heaven has stepped on the scene. And, the scenario repeats over and over. Until…duh, we realize that doing the same thing again and again, i.e., loving someone who chooses not to love us back or has no desire to commit is futile; if not just plain insanity.
The movie “The Holiday” epitomizes a woman who loved someone for several years to finally realize that he did not love her, but wanted to keep her in his life for his purposes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZQV6NjR_bI But, when Iris (the character in the movie) takes a holiday vacation, she realizes that she has essentially been the dog eating the crumbs from her imagined committed partner. As the story evolves, she realizes she is designed to be the leading lady and finally breaks up with her love interest. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1CMnZDllDU
Many women want to be the leading lady in their relationship to no avail. So, instead, many of us settle for crumbs of love, which leads to imagined crumbs of hope. These crumbs often lead to a deeper sense of loneliness and despair. We settle for being the best friend at best, or just a tool in someone’s hand. And, so again, the cycle repeats, until we are redeemed from ourselves. 
Redeemed from ourselves? Now that is a thought! This feat of redemption is attempted by some through mediation, yoga, spirituality, humanness, religion, hardness of heart, etc. But, others, like myself, look to the One true and only Redeemer who consistently reminds us that He is our TRUE love and He prepares the “Boaz” of our dreams. (Read about Boaz in the Bible, Ruth 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPevgTJDp7E
Ladies, there is never a short cut when true love is at stake. And, settling for less than G-d’s best, usually spells disaster and emotional violence. I know this from personal experience, and from conversations with many women who have experienced crumbs of love.
Loneliness is a (fill in the blank)! Believe me, when I tell you, I know and I’ve got the first-place award! However, living with g-dly principles, and choosing G-d’s way is so worth the adventure. Has the “right one” found me…not yet. But, he’s headed my way. Can’t wait. But, in the meantime, I’m growing from G-d’s transformative lessons and hoping to encourage others in their relationships.
I’m living life and doing my best to serve G-d, family and friends. If you find yourself settling for second place in the life of a man you are dating, or befriending, and he is not interested in a commitment; stop wasting your time wishing and hoping in a fantasy. Stop settling for crumbs of hope or crumbs of love. Instead, drop and pray! Seek G-d’s comfort, counsel, and ask G-d to send His best.
What are crumbs of love or crumbs of hope? Crumbs…being involved with someone who gives you hints that there might be a future; or he does nice things, and your inference – he’s into me. Maybe he comments that you are so like the type of woman, he would like to spend the rest of his life with…you know the innuendos that men will say in order to either manipulate, or keep you in the loop to serve their purposes. Let’s be real! Men or women will do and say manipulative things to serve their narcissistic appetites, if they are not people who pant after the One and True Living G-d.
Yet, for those of us who desire to live within a covenant marriage; games, lies, manipulations, innuendos, etc. are taboo, and have no place in any loving relationship. Our Savior gave His very best…Himself for His people. This is our example! This is our true love interest!
Start 2017 loving G-d and self, and leave all crumbs for the vacuum.
#Justsaying,
Dr. Dee
Actions Speak
It has often been said that actions speak louder than words. However, is this always the case? I wonder.
Sometimes words speak louder in the form of an email or a letter, yelling, screaming, exhortation, even silence. Sometimes the author’s purpose is lost in the reader’s or listener’s comprehension. Sometimes messages are read with such disdain that the true intent of the author’s purpose is lost. Then again, sometimes words can be used to hide pretentious actions. Hmm– not really sure. Sometimes words seem to speak louder than actions. What do you think?
What I do know, is that if we want others to think we are different or that we have been transformed by the Holy Spirit, then our actions have to look different and gracious, and our words whether written or spoken have to drip with G-dly honey. In other words, if we want others to think we are loving, then we have to act and speak lovingly. If we want others to think we have a pleasant and inviting personality, then we must display this as well. We cannot expect others to see or hear transformation within us, when we act in the very way their criticism suggests.
We all see things fuzzy, even though our pride suggests otherwise, and our arrogance allows us to build walls of self-sustenance. Yet, if we embrace a faith of love and grace, then it is my prayer that G-d shows us our pride and arrogance, and that we have the 
courage to change if need be. Then, maybe, our words, as well as our actions will be steeped in G-dly honey, love, and all the precious goodness as modeled by our Messiah.
As always, it’s our choice.
#DocsMusing,
Dr. Dee