Tag Archives: self-development

Anger’s Fury

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22anger and coffee

Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division.  Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder.  Anger affects every cell in the body.

Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.

The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on othanger collageers as well.

Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?

We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities.  Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”.  As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.

Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.

I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Sizzling or Soothing… Words Speak

talking megaphoneWe all know how powerfully words affect our world view, our attitude and how we think of others and ourselves. Do you remember the kiddy rhyme: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Yeah, right! This is one of the biggest and most destructive lies ever told to children! The intention of the saying may be honorable in an effort to get children to ignore evil, negative and disgusting comments. However, the creative force behind negative words pierce the very soul and spirit of the person on the receiving end.

How many of you can remember being called outside-of-your name? How many can remember being called ugly, fat, loser, poser, bit–, mother f—–? How about n—–, fa—- or bast—? How about someone condemning you to the pit of hell for adultery, an abortion, cheating on a spouse, filing bankruptcy, lying etc.? Have you ever experienced condemnation, hatred, bigotry, put-downs, abuses and other evils, because of that little rudder in someone’s mouth? If you have not experienced any of the above or worst, you are truly either blessed or living outside of the human experience.

Anyone who has been at the receiving end of a bully’s furious spewing knows that negative words are a destructive force like a double-edged sword ripping flesh apart. I would think, many of us know better than to repeat the old adage about sticks and stones, but more importantly, we do not seem to fully grasp the power of  words. So, why do we repeat sayings we know are false? Why do we deceive ourselves with seemingly comforting words, which instead burn unseen scars upon our souls? Why do many of us persist in the deception that words cannot and do not harm?

man speaking pointingThe biblical principle in James 3:1-12 vividly outlines the might and power of words. Words can create positive, encouraging and loving environments or destructive, damaging or negative environments whether spiritual or physical. The reality of destructive language is obvious, yet somehow we continually dismiss the influence of words.

Destructive language reaches beyond being on the receiving end of a bully. We often times bully or torment ourselves based on our circumstances, self-hatred and more. We speak evil of ourselves to ourselves and others. We compare ourselves to others and spew self-destructive thoughts inwardly and outwardly denying the very glory we have been innately given. We listen and believe lies, instead of the truth about how much we are loved and longed for by the Creator.

Whether it is personal, social or political, we are daily bombarded by negative words meant to kill, steal and destroy our very souls. However, we can choose to be part of the negativity, or we can choose to make a positive difference. We can choose to listen to voices of evil, or we can choose to shut the voices down. We can choose to think of ourselves in mediocre or vile ways; or we can choose to love ourselves, and thus inevitably, we will demonstrate love for others. Clearly, words are powerful and affect us. It is our choice to either speak words of love or words of hatred.

Are your words sizzling and negatively destructive or are your words soothing and positively uplifting? Do your words make others laugh, smile, frown or cry?  Do others cringe at the sound of your voice? Or, do others welcome your loving input into their lives and the lives of others?

black woman smiling

You make the choice each time you speak.

DocsMusings!

Dr. Dee

 

Is yours a …Healthy, Happy, and Hearty Relationship? Part Two

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If you are on the road to nowhere, find another road. Ashanti proverb

It is worth repeating… I do not know anyone who gets in a relationship thinking, I do not want this relationship or marriage to work out. Most people I know marry with the hopes of until death does us part. However, before getting married, there are always signs, red flags or blatant halt posts many of us fail to see or choose to ignore.

In my first post, I listed five things not to do if you are interested in a healthy, happy and hearty relationship. Following are some more considerations worth eliminating from your interactions with your mate, if you want to work towards happiness.

You Fail to Treat Each Other with Kindness

One of the greatest commandments is loving your neighbor as you love yourself. Often times, we think of a neighbor as someone outside of our home. However, your spouse is your neighbor and there is nothing more important than treating the person you love with care, consideration, compassion, and appreciation. So, if you find yourself showing more kindness to people you hardly know, coworkers, and others more than you show kindness to your partner, take a step back and revisit your priorities. Treat your mate with the utmost kindness.

You Mistrust Each Other

Healthy relationships are built on trust and a commitment to communication, as well as actions without deceptive intentions. Trust is something earned, given and cultivated within a relationship. Actions which even suggest some sort of impropriety ought not have a sit within a healthy, happy and hearty relationship. Trust your mate as their actions warrant, and be worthy of their trust.

You Harbor Wrongs

Your partner will infuriate and sometimes disgust you as you well know. Your partner will sometimes be disgusted by you or your actions, and will be completely annoyed with you as well. So what. Get over it. Communicate, work out the issues at hand and do not let issues fester and infect the relationship. You choose to let wrongs go, or you choose to harbor wrongs and embrace negativity. Let it go…forgive and know that you both are perfect for each other, but imperfect people. Free yourself from hateful and unforgiving, begrudging feelings.

You Do Not Respect Each Other

Aretha Franklin, Gospel and R&B singer came out with a song in 1967 called R.E.S.P.ECT.  In Aretha Franklin’s song, she tells her Boo (man) to find out what it (respect) means to her. Respect, needless to say is vital in a relationship. Respect synonymous for admiration, esteem, deference, high regard for, in awe of, amazement, and wonderment are essential to a happy relationship. If you desire to have a happy and harmonious relationship, you must respect each other. A relationship without respect is doomed for tragic results. Respect your mate as you would love to be respected.

If you are on the road to nowhere, find another road. (Ashanti proverb) In other words, if your relationship is drowning in negativity due to harboring wrongs, disrespect, unkindness, mistrust, lack of communication, lack of intimacy, violence, etc., then ask yourself, do I really want a healthy, happy and hearty relationship? If your answer is no, then you have wasted your time reading this post. If you want to have a healthy, happy and hearty relationship, then the change you desire begins with you. Decide if you love your mate enough to do what is required to live a healthy life together. Otherwise, if you find that you do not want the relationship, love yourself and each other enough to call it a day.

Just DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Are you in a healthy relationship?

 

 

I do not know anyone who gets in a relationship thinking, I do not want this relationship or marriage to work out. Most people I know marry with the hopes of until death does us part.  However, prior to getting married, there are always signs, red flags or blatant halt posts many of us fail to see or choose to ignore. Consequently, when undesirable situations arise, often times we do things to enable or worsen our relationship, even blaming the other person, instead of doing what is required to enhance the relationship or choosing to exit.

After being in more failed relationships than I choose to reveal, I am an expert on what not to do.  There are so many experts who base their advice on their practical application, work experience or textbook knowledge.  Yet, I know what does not work and here are just five of many things, which DO NOT contribute to a healthy, happy and hearty relationship.

You Fail To Speak Your Mind

Relationships flourish when couples freely and honestly express themselves without fear of repercussions. Therefore, no topic is off-limits and each person feels heard and honored even if there is respectful disagreement, i.e., agree to disagree. Consistent, respectful, honest communication is vital to building a lasting, healthy, happy and hearty relationship.  Each person must feel safe to express their thoughts. Speak your mind with respect and listen with respect.

You Lack Personal Space

Being in-love is glorious to say the least, and spending time with you mate is second to none, especially when things are going well.  Yet, taking time to pursue your own interests within the confines of a faithful relationship, keeps your relationship fresh, and gives you an opportunity to grow as a person, while growing as a couple. Time apart is vital for reflection, prayer, mediation, exercise, reading, shopping, etc. Personal space is not a weapon to segregate yourself from your partner or to punish them.  Personal space is a gift to yourself and your mate when used as a time of growth.  Personal space is vital.

You Fight Dirty

Two people decide to marry. Disagreements are inevitable and normal. However, couples in a healthy, happy, and hearty relationship fight about the issue to reach an amicable solution, as oppose to attacking each other.  Attacking each other as if I need to explain, means absolutely no violence, name-calling, put downs or even bringing up a pass incident to use as a weapon against your mate. You must agree to disagree, and you must respect each other’s right to disagree.  If you find yourself needing to apologize, apologize and do it quickly.  Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Fighting Dirty is not an option.

You Expect Your Partner To Change

Keep your eyes wide open when you are dating and see the reality of the individual standing on the opposite side of your relationship.  You must reconcile within yourself that those things you hate or dislike about the other person are ALSO part of what you adore about that person. Please, do not base a marriage on the hope that the other person will change or that some circumstance will change them.  You must come to the realization that the person is perfect for you, (or not) but not a perfect person.  Therefore, accept each other’s great, good, and not-so-good, and value them for who that are right now. You can only change you.

You Do Not Enjoy Each Other

Healthy, happy and hearty relationships are full of laughter and fun. Relationships filled with laughter, humor, fun, doing things together in large and simple ways is fundamental for the well-being of one’s relationship.  Obviously, happiness and giddiness will not be the menu every moment of everyday. However, the converse is true as well. Relationships full of strife, tension, and rigidity are damaging indications, which suggest you are with a negative person.  Take my counsel… flee, run and do not look back, because only continual misery will find you in the mist of relationship possibly never meant to be. Find joy in each other.

Most importantly, if you truly love each other, you will do what is required to find health, happiness and maintain a hearty relationship.  All relationships equipped in true love, faithfulness, honesty and transparency are destined until death does them part. Still, being mindful, watchful and prayerful prior to a commitment will help put couples on a positive trajectory considering the few points mentioned. The choice is always ours, choose wisely. Feast on these points and look for more ways that do not make for a health, happy and hearty relationship.

Doc’s Musings,

Dr. Dee

Easily Distracted

The other day I heard a preacher say, we are not human beings having a spiritual 
experience, but instead we are spiritual beings having a human experience!

Many of us are easily distracted along our journey of life by all the things, which attempt to strangle us each day! When we look around us, the dread, gloom, devastation, darkness, sadness and destruction within this world and our lives can easily cloud our vision and hinder our thinking and doing. Many of us are stuck regretting our past mistakes and choices. Yet, for those of us who realize our time is limited on planet earth, and that we are ONLY passing through, our focus is or should be on the hope we have in Messiah’s love as spiritual beings and the restoration He provides.

In 2009, my heart and dreams were shattered once again. At the apex of this drama, I literally felt as if I would never heal and would grow into an old wither spinster.  Even today, remnants of this past ordeal attempt to torture my soul. Nevertheless, as G-d continues to put the pieces of my life back together, in spite of the worldly stresses, life is great! My blessings outweigh the things of my past, as well as any current negativity, which surrounds me daily. G-d is bringing new people and new experiences in my life; and my faithful family members and friends are still there filling my days with much love and joy! Each day I choose to grow and not wallow in past blunders or catastrophes. Each day I attempt to remember I am a spiritual being having a human experience and subject to faults and mistakes.

Therefore, my encouragement to you as you read this message, stop whining and complaining, about days long gone, release and let it go.  Praise G-d for what He has done, for what He will do, and just because HE IS G-D! If we could really believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, then maybe our perspective would have a higher focus and our lives directed toward love and goodness. Is this a lofty goal? Totally! Yet, what is the alternative? To worry about tomorrow, regret the past, and be miserable in the present? I have been there, done that, and have the T-shirt with the logo!

Life has taught me that our horrible situations can be the greatest lessons for our growth and productivity.  Our greatest life lessons put us in a position to help others.  Ultimately, whether you believe in G-d the Creator, or not, the choice is always ours.  We can either wallow in self-regret, self-destruction and shame, or we can walk in forgiveness of ourselves and others embracing life’s new adventures and opportunities. How will you choose to live?

Life is way too short! And, if you have gotten to this point in my blog, you still have time to enjoy whatever time you have left! Please, don’t waste time looking back and wishing things could have been different.  You are not going backwards. You are going forward. However, you must actively choose how you will live or exist.  Be encouraged in the L-rd! Love Him with all your heart, soul and mind, and then love your neighbor, with a determination and commitment to do those things, which are pleasing to Him! If G-d is not your focus, figure out a way to let go of all negativity from your past/present and embrace a more upbeat positive attitude.

Honestly, many of us love to wallow, complain and whine about our past and we refuse to let go of hurts.  Today, I challenge you to let go of any hurts, drama, trauma from yester-year and look for the positive, excellent, spectacular in the small and the large things in your life.  Choose to live healthier and happier for the rest of your life. Believe you are a spiritual being having a human experience and with the help of G-d you can get beyond being easily distracted by previous blunders. 

DocsMusings

Net…WORK

 

 

Net…WORK

How many of you are trying to grow a business working from home using the Internet? How many of us are frustrated with living paycheck to paycheck?  How many of us are actually very successful making the thousands of dollars we read about from guru marketers?  If you are not having the kind of success you would like, and you ready to quit , continue reading.

Online marketing, network marketing, big or small business enterprises, getting a degree, raising a family, and marriage are all marathons and not designed for the faint of heart.  Anyone who thinks they are going to jump into a new business and become an overnight success is delusional. Network marketing is just that – net…WORK! Growing a customer base and business partners requires building relationships, providing value, time and a simple and effective plan to success. Network marketing like any worthy endeavor requires commitment, training, fortitude and effort.  Ultimately, if our business fails, we have to look at the “man” in the mirror, but we also have to put forth every effort to select the right business which suits our personality and work ethic.   www.mybailoutoption.com

I have been in several home based businesses over the past 10 years, and just within the past year after joining another MLM (Multi-level Marketing), I am seeing team building and financial success. The success I am experiencing is directly related to my efforts and selecting the right company.  The right company, I believe must have the right leadership, products, compensation plan, team support, and a business model which is easy to understand and easy to duplicate.

There are many businesses with excellent products, compensation plans and fantastic leadership where success is realized.  Yet, before joining any company you might consider the following points:

Leadership – I believe leaders should be:

  1. Visionaries with a firm plan and the tenacity to see the plan through
  2. Honest, transparent, and have a heart for the success of all
  3. Understands and sees the end goal without mishandling the details
  4. Surrounds themselves with other like-minded leaders
  5. Invests in personal development, teachable and consistently revisits the plan, tweaks as needed for the good of the entire company
  6. Worthy of honor
  7. Role Model
  8. Stays abreast and in touch with the field
  9. A proven positive track record

Company Product:

  1. Quality ingredients
  2. Quality facilities for production
  3. Fills a need within the community, (ex. energy, weight loss,etc.)
  4. Health benefits
  5. Affordability
  6. Convenience
  7. Positive usage, no side effects
  8. Testimonials

Compensation Plan:

  1. Simple instead of Complex
  2. Multiple ways to earn income
  3. Commission Model

Business Model:

  1. Tools for Success
  2. Projections for growth
  3. Training, support
  4. Start- up costs
  5. Monthly Financial Investment
  6. Financial stability

These points helped me in my business selection, and in my decisions to continue with a particular company or part ways.  However, in addition to the considerations above, discuss your plans with a trusted friend or mentor, especially someone who has successful experience in the industry. If for some reason, you do not know anyone who has experienced success in a network marketing company, please email me and I will send you the names and/or links of some trusted marketers.  Indicate in the subject: Trusted Names. Email me at: drdeejackson@drdeejackson.com

We all have various financial needs. Some of us really need more income to support our families, pay off debt, send children to college and/or plan for our retirement. Others would like to have additional income to support some of their favorite charities or just have extra money to travel. Others possess an entrepreneurial mindset and  would rather work for themselves.

Regardless, if your day job does not meet your financial needs and/or goals, consider creating more income doing some sort of home based business which also provides tax benefits.  There are many choices, a plethora of businesses available to consider, so choose wisely. www.mybailoutoption.com

To Your Success,

Dr. Dee