Tag Archives: spirituality

Just Musing

Loving Self, , , , , , , , , ,

Just sitting here listening to “Shadows” by Lindsey Stirling sipping on a glass of red wine and thinking about you, my reader. Here in Georgia it is a gorgeous Sunday afternoon with the temperatures around 71 degrees with light winds. A perfect afternoon for writing! I am so blessed that I get to share my thoughts with you.

gratefulToday, I feel grateful for my life, my children, my family, my career, my triumphs, challenges and even failures. This morning I woke up thinking about how unbelievably fast my life has reached this point and how much time I have wasted on whatever. Like so many, I have allowed myself to wallow in the quicksand of regret, and shame sinking to lows I never deemed possible. But, today, as I look out of my study window writing to you, I am reminded of all the beauty that life still holds for me and for you.

It is so easy to whine, complain, and gripe, and so easy to forget about the things in life which are good. Wow, this music is so sweet! It really helps to relax my soul. Let me urge you today, to enjoy each moment of your life and choose to do good and be a blessing to others. As we struggle in the difficulties of life’s drama, there is always someone who has challenges even greater than ourselves. Oftentimes, our thinking perpetuates the negativity of a situation, thus causing us to feel victimized and powerless. Yet, in many situations we can rise above the negativity of our thinking, and begin to grow from dramatic situations and live a healthier life.

Our thoughts are extremely powerful, and unchecked can run rampant causing undesirable behaviors, views, feelings, and even negative physical manifestations in our body. For example, if someone says, I’m stupid and I will never amount to anything, chances are they won’t. Or, I’m so fat, I will never lose weight, then they will never lose weight and they will continue to over eat and stay obese. Finally, a person claims, I will never forgive him/her for what he/she did, and I will never trust another person, then trust will always be a struggle.

Our behavior is directly related to our thoughts. If we have loving thoughts towards ourselves and others, our behavior will be indicative of that. If we have negative or hateful thoughts towards others we will behave likewise. Consider the media and all the violence bombarding society. Clearly, folks do not murder someone because they love them. Terrorist activity, rape, theft, abuse and more is not steeped in love! Our behavior is based on our thoughts. If we love, we demonstrate loving actions towards ourselves and others. The converse is equally true.

Our thoughts stimulate our emotions. Our emotions determine our attitude. Our behavior is based on our attitude. What is attitude? Our approach, belief, thinking, outlook on whatever subject or person we are thinking about. We can choose to think positively or we can choose to think negativity. We can choose to live in regret, shame, remorse or guilt. Or we can choose to forgive ourselves, others and even G-d and learn from the challenges in order to live a healthy and happy life. shadow

Again, I am grateful for all life’s experiences and the freedom to share them with you. Be encouraged today, to enjoy today. Let go of all the negativity which impacts your life and make the decision to control your thinking. Make the decision to relish in the dance of life, which our Creator has bestowed on us. Choose to control your thinking in order to live a life filled with love and gratitude. Choose the light and not the shadow.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Shadows by Lindsay Stirling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCsyshUU-A

 

Easily Distracted

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , , 
The other day I heard a preacher say, we are not human beings having a spiritual 
experience, but instead we are spiritual beings having a human experience!

Many of us are easily distracted along our journey of life by all the things, which attempt to strangle us each day! When we look around us, the dread, gloom, devastation, darkness, sadness and destruction within this world and our lives can easily cloud our vision and hinder our thinking and doing. Many of us are stuck regretting our past mistakes and choices. Yet, for those of us who realize our time is limited on planet earth, and that we are ONLY passing through, our focus is or should be on the hope we have in Messiah’s love as spiritual beings and the restoration He provides.

In 2009, my heart and dreams were shattered once again. At the apex of this drama, I literally felt as if I would never heal and would grow into an old wither spinster.  Even today, remnants of this past ordeal attempt to torture my soul. Nevertheless, as G-d continues to put the pieces of my life back together, in spite of the worldly stresses, life is great! My blessings outweigh the things of my past, as well as any current negativity, which surrounds me daily. G-d is bringing new people and new experiences in my life; and my faithful family members and friends are still there filling my days with much love and joy! Each day I choose to grow and not wallow in past blunders or catastrophes. Each day I attempt to remember I am a spiritual being having a human experience and subject to faults and mistakes.

Therefore, my encouragement to you as you read this message, stop whining and complaining, about days long gone, release and let it go.  Praise G-d for what He has done, for what He will do, and just because HE IS G-D! If we could really believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, then maybe our perspective would have a higher focus and our lives directed toward love and goodness. Is this a lofty goal? Totally! Yet, what is the alternative? To worry about tomorrow, regret the past, and be miserable in the present? I have been there, done that, and have the T-shirt with the logo!

Life has taught me that our horrible situations can be the greatest lessons for our growth and productivity.  Our greatest life lessons put us in a position to help others.  Ultimately, whether you believe in G-d the Creator, or not, the choice is always ours.  We can either wallow in self-regret, self-destruction and shame, or we can walk in forgiveness of ourselves and others embracing life’s new adventures and opportunities. How will you choose to live?

Life is way too short! And, if you have gotten to this point in my blog, you still have time to enjoy whatever time you have left! Please, don’t waste time looking back and wishing things could have been different.  You are not going backwards. You are going forward. However, you must actively choose how you will live or exist.  Be encouraged in the L-rd! Love Him with all your heart, soul and mind, and then love your neighbor, with a determination and commitment to do those things, which are pleasing to Him! If G-d is not your focus, figure out a way to let go of all negativity from your past/present and embrace a more upbeat positive attitude.

Honestly, many of us love to wallow, complain and whine about our past and we refuse to let go of hurts.  Today, I challenge you to let go of any hurts, drama, trauma from yester-year and look for the positive, excellent, spectacular in the small and the large things in your life.  Choose to live healthier and happier for the rest of your life. Believe you are a spiritual being having a human experience and with the help of G-d you can get beyond being easily distracted by previous blunders. 

DocsMusings

Holiday Discovery

Relationships, , , , , , , , ,

Recently, I watched one of my favorite movies, The Holiday. This movie is about two women from different parts of the world whose relationships have gone awry. In an effort to get over their lovers, they switched houses and their new journeys began.  Iris, one of the main characters was in love and involved with her co-worker for over three years.  Though their relationship had endured many twists and turns, she never expected the surprised announcement at the company Christmas Party.  Her beau got engaged to another woman on staff!  Talk about a shocker!  Needless to say, Iris was devastated. Her heartbreak led her to accept the offer of Amanda (the other main character) whose live-in male friend had an affair with his co-worker. Both women, victims of cheating male counter-parts embarked on a healing journey.

Iris finally realized during her new adventure that her addictive love towards her co-worker was pathetic, tragic and unproductive.  Her beau (Jasper) refused to love her and he used Iris for his sexual self-interest and his career advancements.  Iris blinded by her love for Jasper failed to see the role she played in her own heartbreak, until after her holiday quest. In the end, she realized through her new friendships and self-discovery that she had been the best friend with benefits, instead of the leading lady.

This movie reminded me of myself and the mistakes I have made in relationships.  Often times I believe we (many of us) see what we want to see, and fail to see or accept the reality of toxic relationships.  Like Iris, I have been in-love with a man who failed or would not love me back. And, rather than move on, somehow like Iris, I justified hanging in there to my own detriment.  My experiences have taught me valuable lessons I can now pass on to anyone with an ear to hear.

The most powerful line in the movie suggested that she was playing the role of a best friend when really she was or should have been the leading lady.  This rang so true, because I believe sometimes, we as women think we are the leading lady in the romance of our life, when in fact the opposite is true.  In your beau’s mind you may just be a friend, at the most, a best friend, but simply a friend.  If a man only wants sex in private, but fails to recognize you in public, awake O’sleeper and flee! (Read: Steve Harvey’s book – Think like a Man and Act like a Lady).  Wow, so how can we move from a pathetic relationship?

First and foremost, it is always about loving self, if you do not believe in the Creator.  Otherwise, after your committed love for Him, then we are to love ourselves.  How can we love ourselves and then another, if we do not love G-d and understand respect and honor?  Knowing one’s desires based on spiritual principles, hopes, desires, and goals are the beginning steps to knowing your worth and then conducting yourself accordingly.  To compromise yourself or settle for something that is contrary to your basic core is a disaster waiting to happen.  Love yourself enough to be willing to let go of a toxic relationship. Love yourself enough to know you are worthy to have a relationship with someone who will love, honor and respect you back.

love quoteSo often, I hear women say there are no good men out there, or no one will love them, or all the good men are gone, or I’m not pretty, smart, skinny, whatever enough. Stop it! You are all you believe you are, and if you are thinking negatively about yourself you will draw a negative no-good man in your life.  Many men treat women exactly the way they allow them to be treated. Many people in general treat people in ways that we allow.  If we want respect, we have to give and demand respect back.  If we want to be the leading lady in our beau’s life, we have to be the leading lady and not accept anything less.

We need and desire friends – at least I do! I enjoy the company of both men and women friends.  Life without people I can enjoy and confide in outside of my family would be miserable.  However, being the first and leading lady in a relationship which could lead to a commitment/marriage is a different matter, and should not be confused by a best friend with benefits affair.

Proverbs 31:10-31 spells out the ideal leading lady. The woman in this biblical verse is far beyond that of pearls and is extremely capable, intelligent and industrious.  She understands her self-worth, and she is honored and adored by her husband and children.  She manages her business affairs, her household and enjoys her days.  She demands respect, because she exemplifies a woman of character, love and spirituality.  She is a super woman!

So what is my point? We ought not to underestimate ourselves and give away our dignity and love to a man who is unworthy of our love, because he refuses to love us back.  We should be mindful of being a wife to a man who only wants to gratify his selfish needs.  Instead, expect the man of your dreams to honor you as the leading lady and treat you as such.  Expect love and commitment and do not settle for someone who has baggage from his previous relationship(s) or other life challenges.  Do what is required to free yourself from a toxic relationship or toxic thinking.

What is toxic thinking? Toxic thinking is steeped in negative affirmations about yourself, your situation, life in general, and the belief that nothing good will EVER happen to you.  Therefore, you feel compelled to take whatever you can get.  Toxic thinking and behavior allows us to blindly go along with the flow of a bad relationship until something shocking wakes us from our slumber.  Toxic thinking like so many others things is a choice.  Choose to believe the best for yourself and have faith that good things and/or a great relationship is for you.  Great relationships happen in real life too, not just the movies.

Great relationships begin with being what your desire. Work on loving and respecting yourself as the awesome woman G-d has designed, and then expect the highest form of good in your life. Holiday Discovery is letting go of the negative and embracing the positive experiences of the present. So, what will you choose and what actions will you take? 

 

Just Musing!

Dr. Dee

Interested in learning more about ridding yourself of toxic thinking? Let me recommend, Dr. Caroline’s Leaf book: Switch On Your Brain. I would love to hear your thoughts on this book.

 

Today is Now!

Loving Others, Marketing Sense, , , , , ,

Today is the first day of the rest of your life! If I heard this saying once, I have heard it a bunch of times!  This saying, though true, requires fierce mental transformation. The saying is lovely and encouraging, but requires a ferocious determination to believe and execute starting anew without carrying yester-years, yesterday’s negativity into the newness of each new day!

Hmmm, so what can I say? This is a tall order, but a necessary requirement to living each day fully alive and fully present.  The spiritual principle, if embraced frees us from the shame and guilt of past mistakes. This principle assists us in appreciating joyous and happy memories and purposing to create new ones.

Many of us allow our past to dictate our future. We often times drag our regrets, mistakes, shame and failure into our very present or get stuck in a drama and/or loss. We allow the negative things to strangle our souls, and we frequently forget the great things of the past as well as the present.  What we often spew, yet fail to practice is that the past is gone! We must remember: We can’t do ANYTHING about the past! So, we must forgive others, self and keep it moving!  Each day, we literally grow brand new brain cells, according to Dr. Caroline Leaf.  Therefore, with these new brain cells we are truly given the practical opportunity to implement the mercies of our Creator each and every day!

Today, is the first day of the rest of your life, my life! Today, literally right now is all we have. How will you choose to move forward in your daily/life activities? Will you forge ahead in gratitude, determination, kindness, productivity, love, forgiveness and the like? Or will you drag grudges, regret, shame, hatred, bitterness, dread, loss and more into your NOW?

The choice is always ours! For me, I choose life…to the fullest! Join me in making this place called earth just a little brighter with a ferocious determination to live a life of love, joy and kindness. Refuse to haul yester-years’ drama into today’s sunshine!  Choose to love yourself enough to give yourself the best chance to experience each day as a new beginning.

Just Musing….

Dr. Dee

By Design – Hello World!

Loving Others, Marketing Sense, , , , , , , , , , ,

Just Musing!

Well, hello to you! I am ready to dazzle, impress and/or bore you with my musings about whatever I feel like expressing! There are so many bloggers out there you could be reading right now, but know, I am so glad you decided to rest your eyes on my blog and open your mind and heart with me. I enjoy writing and spent most of my college career writing (most students do); and I continue to journal on a consistent basis.  Blogging is another way for me to express myself, share some exciting news with you, make some new friends, and have some fun doing one of the things I enjoy.

I guess you are wondering by now, who is this and why should I care? My name is DD, short for Dr. Dee. I was born in Oakland, California and grew up in the Berkeley/Oakland area. I lived there for many years until I went to college in San Jose, California and finally settled in San Jose with my family. I moved around living in various places in northern California, Colorado Springs and I moved to Georgia in 1999 in an area about 20 miles east of Atlanta. Once I moved to Georgia, (talk about culture shock), I finished obtaining my graduate degrees as a full educator raising a family.  I am the mother of 3 adult children with 3 grandsons, and currently, I am still an Educator, Entrepreneur, and hopefully retiring soon as a successful blogger! LOL…no seriously!

I came from humble beginnings and the first in my family to obtain a doctorate degree.  And, though, I have several letters behind my name, which impresses many, if not most people, these letters really indicate that I am a doer…one who completes tasks! I am truly a hard worker, fiercely loyal which has proven detrimental at times, but I love being who I am as I continue to grow.  I am grateful for my family and friends who find me adorable, and support my efforts. But, most of all, I am grateful to our Creator who gives me life, and life abundantly!

So, why am I writing this blog? I write to each of you who finds a nugget of truth, challenge, encouragement and/or love to help you travel this path we call life.   Let me challenge you this week to look for good in someone who grates your soul and then challenge yourself to get over it!

Just Musing!

dd