Tag Archives: Thinking

Who Will Be The Next President Of The United States?

Today's Society, , , , , ,

The political campaign for the new president of the United States is far from ordinary to say the least. Both candidates are flawed, and neither candidate is a supreme choice for this country. However, when you consider the evidence of each of the candidates, there is clearly one who is better for this country, but you have to decide which one. My choice is clear, but unfortunately, it is the lesser of two evils. Hum, the perils of living on earth. Honestly, I don’t like either candidate, Republican or Democrat. But, my choice is clear based on the evidence displayed for the world to see, and the information, which has been filtered through the news. world blue black

Yet, regardless of who becomes the new president of the United States in November of 2016, the subjection of this country is still under the Creator of the Universe. Therefore, those who believe in the power of prayer need not only vote, but more importantly pray for the leaders in this country, the police system, the educational system, the religious system, the medical system, the societal structure, the disenfranchised, the impoverished, the racial injustices and more!

Now, is not the time to apathetically sit around and wait for someone else to intercede for this country and the world. Now is not the time to lethargically live life, and let someone else fulfill your G-d given purpose. And, now is not the time to be weary in well doing! Each one of us called by G-d to walk in His purposes, in the earth, have been summoned to make a difference, wherever we find ourselves on a daily basis. We have not been called to idly watch, complain, and gossip about the state of affairs, but to make a difference and be the difference.

This is my difference, at least one of them. I implore, plead with each of you reading this blog to pray for this great nation, and to critically examine what each candidate is proposing. Consider their platforms, their words or sarcasm, their tweets, the evidence of political and/or social experiences, and weigh their pros versus their cons. Carefully consider recent events, and the tragic loss of lives, and political volleying with international countries, and the ostracizing of various groups in our society. Carefully categorize the content of their speeches, experiences and their implications for not just this country, but their international relationships with other countries, and their call for unity or their call for order.

images prayers hands in the airAgain, now is not the time to idly just sit. Now is the time to pray, vote and encourage others to do the same. Prayer is the path where no other path can make a difference. Prayer is about beseeching the ONE who can make the difference. If you just boo and not vote, then do not complain when your choice isn’t the new president of the United States.

As always…the choice is yours!

DocsMusing!

Dr. Dee

Tips For Marriage Counseling Success

Relationships, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FreshPaint white couple

 

 

Has your marriage hit a brick wall? Are your attempts at solving conflict seem futile? If so, then counseling may be one of your answers. However, going to marriage counseling is not just about showing up and sitting down. Counseling success is hinged on active engagement, honesty and transparency. Therefore, in order for marriage counseling to have the best chances for your success, here are some tips.

  1. List the reasons why you need to speak to a third person. Are you having communication issues, intimacy issues, financial issues, etc. Clarify and write down your reason(s) prior to your first counseling session. Be sure to interview several marriage counselors or coaches and select someone you both feel comfortable with and someone who is committed to your success. If you are a Messianic/Christian couple, select someone who has the same biblical mindset.
  2. Set goals for the marriage. For Example: we both want to save our marriage, we want to better communicate with each other, we want to respect each other’s differences, etc. Again, be clear on the reason(s) as to why you are seeking counseling. Ensure that both partners are still interested in saving the marriage, and there isn’t a desire for a separation or divorce.
  3. Commit to the process for at least 6 months to a year in order to give yourselves the full opportunity of working out issues. Sometimes issues are related to childhood baggage and/or unresolved hurts from previous relationships. Committing to the process will ensure you get to the root of the problem so healing can transpired.FreshPaint-certificate of marriage
  4. Do not threaten separation or divorce during the time of counseling to which both of you have committed. Any threats of divorce will certainly undermine the success of the counseling.
  5. Be ready to take responsibility for your part in the marriage difficulties. Be accountable and willing to ask forgiveness and work on improving self. It is essential that you are willing to change personally for the better. Think about the accusations your spouse makes consistently concerning your behavior during an argument or whenever. If those comments are the same, then consider your words and behavior, which may need to change, or attempt to understand why your response is irritated by your behavior.
  6. Do not complain or speak negatively about your spouse to others, especially during the counseling period. Give yourself the best opportunity to reconcile differences within the marriage. Sometimes, people, especially friends will interject negativity into the situation, which could include advice to leave to give up on the marriage. This will weaken the reconciliation process, if not destroy any chances of resolution. If you must speak to someone, make sure it is someone who will fully support your efforts, and desires the best for you and your spouse.
  7. Prior to meeting with your coach or counselor, do not tell your spouse what to say during your counseling sessions. Remember, the only way to healing is through complete honesty and transparency. There is no need to feel embarrassed during a session with your coach or counselor. They are there to help.
  8. Make counseling sessions and the homework a priority. Counseling is only as good as the work each person is willing to put in to grow individually and as a couple.
  9. Realize there is no over-night cure. Again, stick with your obligation to go through counseling and be willing to honestly look at your great, good and awful behaviors, commit to change, and commit to the process.black and white couple

Challenges within a marriage are par for the course. However, couples who truly love each other and are committed to each other can overcome grievances and challenges, and enjoy their lives together. Choosing someone to journey with you as a couple can be one of the answers to your difficulties. Yet, as a couple, you have to be willing to put forth the effort to heal the wounded areas in your relationship. The choice is always yours.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Crossroads

Loving Self, , , , , , ,

wherewithmanWhen you get to the fork in the road take it! (Tessin)

When I first heard this statement, I was confused on its meaning. However, the more I pondered this saying, the more the meaning began to unfold. I believe it means to choose to go to the left or the right, but do not stand stagnant or stationary considering which way to go. Make a decision! Now, you might have a different idea about the meaning, but for me, the central point of the saying is to avoid procrastination.

How many times do we put off for tomorrow, something we could do today? How many of us begin a new diet on Monday, then fall off the diet on Tuesday? How many of us put off saving money, pursuing our passions for tomorrow, instead of working today to meet our goals. It’s easy to put off doing things for tomorrow, but, for many, tomorrow never comes.

Today, now, as you are reading this blog is all the time you/I have promised. Tomorrow is not promised is a popular saying. However, not even the next moment is promised; life is one breath, one second, one step at a time. As we hear the news about the tragedies rampantly destroying the lives of many of our neighbors, none, at least most, I would dare to say, received a text message letting them know of their imminent demise.   Many fathers, moms, children, sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts leave in the morning as part of their daily routine; yet, many do not return home. Police officers, firefighters, victims of police brutality,  others forms of violence, teachers, doctors, etc. are literally called daily to stand before their Maker. On a lighter note, many who plan on finishing school, going on a vacation, calling/visiting a love one, starting a new business or hobby, never realize their goals, because their tomorrow never comes.

My point, while you have today…do today.  Tell someone you love them. Start that diet/exercise regimen and stick to it. If you are working an online business, today and each day, work on your business. Contact your team and encourage them to remain faithful in their efforts to change their personal financial landscape and that of others on their team.  Encourage yourself to take charge of your business, and do not wait for your up-line or today is the daydown-line to help you get started. Do it yourself.  If you need to call, email or text those on your list, do it while it is today, instead of putting it off for tomorrow.  Whatever you are putting off for tomorrow and you can do it today…then be encouraged to do it today.

Remember, when you get to the crossroads, pick up the fork and take it. Today is your day!

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Anger’s Fury

Health and Wellness, Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , , , ,

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22anger and coffee

Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division.  Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder.  Anger affects every cell in the body.

Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.

The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on othanger collageers as well.

Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?

We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities.  Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”.  As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.

Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.

I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Sizzling or Soothing… Words Speak

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , ,

talking megaphoneWe all know how powerfully words affect our world view, our attitude and how we think of others and ourselves. Do you remember the kiddy rhyme: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Yeah, right! This is one of the biggest and most destructive lies ever told to children! The intention of the saying may be honorable in an effort to get children to ignore evil, negative and disgusting comments. However, the creative force behind negative words pierce the very soul and spirit of the person on the receiving end.

How many of you can remember being called outside-of-your name? How many can remember being called ugly, fat, loser, poser, bit–, mother f—–? How about n—–, fa—- or bast—? How about someone condemning you to the pit of hell for adultery, an abortion, cheating on a spouse, filing bankruptcy, lying etc.? Have you ever experienced condemnation, hatred, bigotry, put-downs, abuses and other evils, because of that little rudder in someone’s mouth? If you have not experienced any of the above or worst, you are truly either blessed or living outside of the human experience.

Anyone who has been at the receiving end of a bully’s furious spewing knows that negative words are a destructive force like a double-edged sword ripping flesh apart. I would think, many of us know better than to repeat the old adage about sticks and stones, but more importantly, we do not seem to fully grasp the power of  words. So, why do we repeat sayings we know are false? Why do we deceive ourselves with seemingly comforting words, which instead burn unseen scars upon our souls? Why do many of us persist in the deception that words cannot and do not harm?

man speaking pointingThe biblical principle in James 3:1-12 vividly outlines the might and power of words. Words can create positive, encouraging and loving environments or destructive, damaging or negative environments whether spiritual or physical. The reality of destructive language is obvious, yet somehow we continually dismiss the influence of words.

Destructive language reaches beyond being on the receiving end of a bully. We often times bully or torment ourselves based on our circumstances, self-hatred and more. We speak evil of ourselves to ourselves and others. We compare ourselves to others and spew self-destructive thoughts inwardly and outwardly denying the very glory we have been innately given. We listen and believe lies, instead of the truth about how much we are loved and longed for by the Creator.

Whether it is personal, social or political, we are daily bombarded by negative words meant to kill, steal and destroy our very souls. However, we can choose to be part of the negativity, or we can choose to make a positive difference. We can choose to listen to voices of evil, or we can choose to shut the voices down. We can choose to think of ourselves in mediocre or vile ways; or we can choose to love ourselves, and thus inevitably, we will demonstrate love for others. Clearly, words are powerful and affect us. It is our choice to either speak words of love or words of hatred.

Are your words sizzling and negatively destructive or are your words soothing and positively uplifting? Do your words make others laugh, smile, frown or cry?  Do others cringe at the sound of your voice? Or, do others welcome your loving input into their lives and the lives of others?

black woman smiling

You make the choice each time you speak.

DocsMusings!

Dr. Dee

 

Just Musing

Loving Self, , , , , , , , , ,

Just sitting here listening to “Shadows” by Lindsey Stirling sipping on a glass of red wine and thinking about you, my reader. Here in Georgia it is a gorgeous Sunday afternoon with the temperatures around 71 degrees with light winds. A perfect afternoon for writing! I am so blessed that I get to share my thoughts with you.

gratefulToday, I feel grateful for my life, my children, my family, my career, my triumphs, challenges and even failures. This morning I woke up thinking about how unbelievably fast my life has reached this point and how much time I have wasted on whatever. Like so many, I have allowed myself to wallow in the quicksand of regret, and shame sinking to lows I never deemed possible. But, today, as I look out of my study window writing to you, I am reminded of all the beauty that life still holds for me and for you.

It is so easy to whine, complain, and gripe, and so easy to forget about the things in life which are good. Wow, this music is so sweet! It really helps to relax my soul. Let me urge you today, to enjoy each moment of your life and choose to do good and be a blessing to others. As we struggle in the difficulties of life’s drama, there is always someone who has challenges even greater than ourselves. Oftentimes, our thinking perpetuates the negativity of a situation, thus causing us to feel victimized and powerless. Yet, in many situations we can rise above the negativity of our thinking, and begin to grow from dramatic situations and live a healthier life.

Our thoughts are extremely powerful, and unchecked can run rampant causing undesirable behaviors, views, feelings, and even negative physical manifestations in our body. For example, if someone says, I’m stupid and I will never amount to anything, chances are they won’t. Or, I’m so fat, I will never lose weight, then they will never lose weight and they will continue to over eat and stay obese. Finally, a person claims, I will never forgive him/her for what he/she did, and I will never trust another person, then trust will always be a struggle.

Our behavior is directly related to our thoughts. If we have loving thoughts towards ourselves and others, our behavior will be indicative of that. If we have negative or hateful thoughts towards others we will behave likewise. Consider the media and all the violence bombarding society. Clearly, folks do not murder someone because they love them. Terrorist activity, rape, theft, abuse and more is not steeped in love! Our behavior is based on our thoughts. If we love, we demonstrate loving actions towards ourselves and others. The converse is equally true.

Our thoughts stimulate our emotions. Our emotions determine our attitude. Our behavior is based on our attitude. What is attitude? Our approach, belief, thinking, outlook on whatever subject or person we are thinking about. We can choose to think positively or we can choose to think negativity. We can choose to live in regret, shame, remorse or guilt. Or we can choose to forgive ourselves, others and even G-d and learn from the challenges in order to live a healthy and happy life. shadow

Again, I am grateful for all life’s experiences and the freedom to share them with you. Be encouraged today, to enjoy today. Let go of all the negativity which impacts your life and make the decision to control your thinking. Make the decision to relish in the dance of life, which our Creator has bestowed on us. Choose to control your thinking in order to live a life filled with love and gratitude. Choose the light and not the shadow.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Shadows by Lindsay Stirling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCsyshUU-A

 

What is the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day?

Loving Self, , , , , , , , ,

Every last Monday of May and each November 11 we honor military personnel. On the last Monday of May, Memorial Day, many people have festive celebrations, including barbeques, music, fireworks, dancing and more. Veterans Day is on November 11, and for most people this means a day off of work in America at least for most government workers. However, many people confuse Memorial Day and Veterans Day, or they just do not realize there is a difference between the two days. Both holidays were established to recognize and honor the men and women who have served in the military of the United States of America regardless of branch of service. However, there is a difference for each day’s recognition of military service.

Memorial Day was originally set aside as a day of remembering, honoring military personnel who died serving in the Armed Forces for their country, predominately those who died in battle or due to injuries sustained in battle. Veterans Day also honors those who died in service and is celebrated on November 11. However, Veterans Day is intended to thank and honor all those who honorably serve in the Armed Forces or military during wartime or peacetime. Consequently, Veterans Day is largely intended to thank living Veterans for their service and acknowledge their contributions to our national security.

Photo: Fort Smith National CemeteryFort Smith National Cemetery

Unfortunately, war seems to be a necessary part of living on earth. There is always a battle between opposing views, good versus evil, or real/imaginary rivals. I truly wish there was shalom (peace) throughout the entire universe and I believe we were created to live at peace with each other. Yet, I realize people will always be at war, because the jihad begins in our own souls and is acted out on various levels, including world and civil wars. And, until we love our Creator, ourselves, our children more than we hate our enemies, war is imminent and consistently lurking. Consequently, war brings death, loss and great sacrifice in the name of peace (or perceived/limited peace) and security for our borders.

Did you know? To ensure the sacrifices of America’s fallen heroes are never forgotten, in December 2000, the U.S. Congress passed and the president signed into law “The National Moment of Remembrance Act,” P.L. 106‐579, creating the White House Commission on the National Moment of Remembrance. The commission’s charter is to “encourage the people of the United States to give something back to their country, which provides them so much freedom and opportunity” by encouraging and coordinating commemorations in the United States of Memorial Day and the National Moment of Remembrance. The National Moment of Remembrance encourages all Americans to pause wherever they are at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day for a minute of silence to remember and honor those who have died in service to the nation. (Information taken from, ReadWorks.org, Internet Accessed: 30 May 2016, http://www.readworks.org/passages/what-difference-between-veterans-day-and-memorial-day)

I have family members who have served in the Armed Forces for the United States of America, in addition to family members who are currently serving just like you. I am proud and sadden by the sacrifice our military families endure and the service of the military personnel to ensure the freedoms we have in our country. Today, this Memorial Day of 2016, between the eating, dancing, laughter, fun, fireworks, and celebrating, consider pausing for prayer, reflection and remembering those who have died serving in the military for this great nation.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

 

Easily Distracted

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , , 
The other day I heard a preacher say, we are not human beings having a spiritual 
experience, but instead we are spiritual beings having a human experience!

Many of us are easily distracted along our journey of life by all the things, which attempt to strangle us each day! When we look around us, the dread, gloom, devastation, darkness, sadness and destruction within this world and our lives can easily cloud our vision and hinder our thinking and doing. Many of us are stuck regretting our past mistakes and choices. Yet, for those of us who realize our time is limited on planet earth, and that we are ONLY passing through, our focus is or should be on the hope we have in Messiah’s love as spiritual beings and the restoration He provides.

In 2009, my heart and dreams were shattered once again. At the apex of this drama, I literally felt as if I would never heal and would grow into an old wither spinster.  Even today, remnants of this past ordeal attempt to torture my soul. Nevertheless, as G-d continues to put the pieces of my life back together, in spite of the worldly stresses, life is great! My blessings outweigh the things of my past, as well as any current negativity, which surrounds me daily. G-d is bringing new people and new experiences in my life; and my faithful family members and friends are still there filling my days with much love and joy! Each day I choose to grow and not wallow in past blunders or catastrophes. Each day I attempt to remember I am a spiritual being having a human experience and subject to faults and mistakes.

Therefore, my encouragement to you as you read this message, stop whining and complaining, about days long gone, release and let it go.  Praise G-d for what He has done, for what He will do, and just because HE IS G-D! If we could really believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, then maybe our perspective would have a higher focus and our lives directed toward love and goodness. Is this a lofty goal? Totally! Yet, what is the alternative? To worry about tomorrow, regret the past, and be miserable in the present? I have been there, done that, and have the T-shirt with the logo!

Life has taught me that our horrible situations can be the greatest lessons for our growth and productivity.  Our greatest life lessons put us in a position to help others.  Ultimately, whether you believe in G-d the Creator, or not, the choice is always ours.  We can either wallow in self-regret, self-destruction and shame, or we can walk in forgiveness of ourselves and others embracing life’s new adventures and opportunities. How will you choose to live?

Life is way too short! And, if you have gotten to this point in my blog, you still have time to enjoy whatever time you have left! Please, don’t waste time looking back and wishing things could have been different.  You are not going backwards. You are going forward. However, you must actively choose how you will live or exist.  Be encouraged in the L-rd! Love Him with all your heart, soul and mind, and then love your neighbor, with a determination and commitment to do those things, which are pleasing to Him! If G-d is not your focus, figure out a way to let go of all negativity from your past/present and embrace a more upbeat positive attitude.

Honestly, many of us love to wallow, complain and whine about our past and we refuse to let go of hurts.  Today, I challenge you to let go of any hurts, drama, trauma from yester-year and look for the positive, excellent, spectacular in the small and the large things in your life.  Choose to live healthier and happier for the rest of your life. Believe you are a spiritual being having a human experience and with the help of G-d you can get beyond being easily distracted by previous blunders. 

DocsMusings

Money Matters

Relationships, , , , , , , , ,

broke 3

Fighting due to financial challenges is all too common in many marriages! Fighting or disagreements about money is normal in most marriages or relationships.  However, excessive fighting about money can lead to tremendous strain, tension, abuse and/or divorce. It’s not just about a lack of finances, but the lack of compatibility in the money arena.

We all know the old adage that “opposites attract”, but when two people have opposite and opposing views about money, divorce can occur.  Imagine for a moment a couple where one spends money all the time, and the other wants to save for the future. Or one person is very generous, and the other is a miser. One has no problem using credit cards, and the other believes in saving up for an item.  These differing ideas can cause tremendous problems in a relationship if there is no amicable solution.

Credit-Cards

Unfortunately, many couples do not discuss financial matters thoroughly before getting married, or they get married and think they can change the other person, or that LOVE will take care of it. Phooey! Love is the main and sustaining reason, and I believe people should be in-love, devoted and committed to each upon entering into a covenant agreement. However, money matters should be discussed prior to the marriage with complete transparency, so each person knows exactly each other’s spending habits and beliefs about financial management. Here are a few tips to discuss before marriage:

  • Discuss if both partners are going to work. If debt is involved decide how you are going to pay off debts.  Ideally, live on one income (mortgage/rent, utilities, food, gas, clothing) and use the other income for savings, investments, vacations, education, etc.
  • Make sure you have emergency cash funds. Dave Ramsey suggest $1,000.00 cash for emergencies. I think this is a good start, but ideally you should have 3 – 6 months living expenses available for emergencies, and quickly replace any used funds. There should be no limit to emergency funds.
  • Decide on how you are going to give, save and invest your money as a couple. Seek counsel from a reputable financial company, pastor, rabbi or counselor to help you make decisions and plan for short and long range financial goals.
  • Create a reasonable monthly budget which includes spending money for each partner and leisure.
  • Decide who is going to pay the bills each month or will paying the bills be a joint effort? I suggest reviewing your budget/finances each month together and celebrate financial victories, like paying off a bill, or saving enough money for a vacation. If a financial goal is not met, calmly discuss what went wrong and how to make improvements. Be accountable to each other and your goals.
  • Attack the money issue and not each other. Remember, if an argument should develop, tackle the problem of excessive spending, high debt, etc., and try not to belittle and curse each other.
  • Seek counseling if you are unable to settle your money woes together. Often times the extremely generous or conversely, the miser has issues related to childhood in regards to money. A trained professional might help you discover any root issues that are hindering successful financial goals.  Discovery is vital in order to live a balanced life.

broke

I believe if two people truly love each other, any money woes can be handled through commitment, understanding, communication, hard work and sacrifice.  After all, it is just money, and though a major part of one’s commitment, it is just a part!  Imagine yourself without your spouse. Is that the choice you would prefer, because you cannot resolve your financial issues?  Marital issues over finances can be resolved and you can live a happy life together, if you are willing to work together as ONE to resolve financial woes. The choice is always ours. 

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Failure Is Not An Option

Marketing Sense, , , , , , , ,

Success…

Everything that happens to us happens for a purpose.  We can choose to lock ourselves in a cage of fears, weep over past heartaches, breakups, embarrassments and failures, or we can treat these various ills as our tools for both self-development and success. In my last post, I encouraged you to forget about the evils or dramas of yester-years and to focus on the joys of then and NOW. It’s a clique we have all heard…but it really is the truth. All we have is now…the past is gone and tomorrow is not yet here!

Success concept.Today, I want us to answer the following questions: When does self-  development become synonymous with success and where do we start? Let’s consider the following points:

*Refuse to continue to think about your failures and internalize yourself as a failure.  We all make mistakes, but instead of allowing the mistakes to fester in our souls, we must forgive ourselves and keep it moving.    Love yourself.

*Walk in gratitude at all times and focus on seeing and/or finding the silver lining in every situation.                                                                      Love yourself.

*Recognize that each day is new for new and exciting opportunities. Wasting time on regrets is a WASTE OF TIME! Focus on moving forward and purpose to put forth more effort on your goals.                               Love yourself.

*Set realistic and achievable goals and work on them. Set personal goals based on your unique identity and desires.  Your purposes and hopes are for an improved and better YOU.                                                                                        Love yourself.

*Get up and put feet (actions) to accomplish your goals in order to reach the success you desire.                               Love yourself.

*Choose to smile each day and greet/treat others with kindness. Remember in order to be successful you need to build relationships. Building relationships begins with a smile.                                                                                                                       Love yourself and others.

*Self-development is just that…SELF-development. Others may or may not appreciate your efforts to improve in all areas or your life. However, in order to succeed, sometimes we have to stand alone in our beliefs and continue to move forward to accomplish our goals.

Self-development which can be synonymous with success is a process.  The decision and the efforts to improve can be an enjoyable decision, if we choose to embrace the journey even when detours threaten or take us off on side excursions.  When we choose to open the doors of self-development through forgiveness, grit, and consistent actions, we exponentially increase our chances for success in all areas of our lives.                                                                                             Choose to love yourself, others and embrace the journey!

Decide today and begin.

To your success,

Dr. Dee