You don’t even know if you will be alive tomorrow! For all you are is a mist that appears for a little while and then disappears. James 4:14 CJB

Oh, how true! The sudden and unexpected death of my son has struck my heart in many ways and sorrowfully emphasized the truth of G-D’s Word.

The sunny morning of October 19, 2024 was a typical Saturday morning until about 8:45 AM. Just a quick overview: My son and his fiance went for a hike up Stone Mountain in the park where he collapsed and died (unconfirmed) of a heart attack. According to his fiance’, she caught his head before he hit the ground, no pain, no words, just one tear streaming down his cheek. 

In the short video clip of him walking prior to his death, there is no indication that he was going to die in moments after the filming. In the clip, he is saying that they needed to pace themselves because it was going to be a long walk. He looked amazing in the video, so full of life, handsome and smiling. 

The day before his death, we spoke briefly in the kitchen and we had plans to have a family dinner either Sunday or Monday before I was scheduled to fly to Europe. But, everything changed when the phone call came that he had collapsed. I immediately jumped out of bed starting praying and texting all the believers I knew would pray, as well as the leader of the Community I belong to. 

My fiance and I rushed to get where we needed to be to see about Aaron. Once we arrived at the hospital he wasn’t there though he should have been. I “knew” in my heart something wasn’t right. Why was it taking the ambulance so long to get to the hospital? I believe he had died already. 

Once he got there, they attempted to revive him, and for a split moment we thought he was coming back when the doctor said they had a slight pulse, but the pulse soon disappeared and the doctor called it. As they were working on him I saw some of their work and there was such numbness coming over me that I can’t really explain. His fiance’ was with me the whole time and endured the loss of her future husband.  

But, as a believer I felt inadequate and disappointed that my “faith”, prayers and the prayers of others did not bring Aaron back to this side of heaven. We hear miraculous stories of near death experiences, people coming back from the dead, etc., and though I wish Aaron was still here, I realize that each person’s days are numbered. [Psalms 90:12; 139;16]. But, there is still that wishing, should-of, and more.. that I am still grappling with each day.

My heart is still broken and I still want … but obviously, not my will but the L-RD’s. So much more to say, but this is all I can muster for now.

Loving the L-RD, Yeshua and missing my son,

DD