One year blew away and where did the time go! I spent time at the cemetery on my son’s first anniversary, (October 19) of his death. And though my heart is settling, it still seems surreal. Every day I think and mourn the death of my son, especially because he isn’t here for his son. But, I hold onto the promises of G-D believing I will see him again and that helps as I grieve his passing.

While in the US, I also had a chance to see family. Family that was estranged for a lengthy period of time, but Aaron’s death has brought us closer together, and for that I am forever grateful. So much has changed since his death, not just his physical absence, but even the way I view life and ultimately my own passing.

I have a vigor and hope in the L-RD like never before. I am grateful to ABBA for the work He is doing in my life and those around me who are like-minded about the coming Kingdom of the L-RD. I have several g-dly people in my life that have comforted and encouraged, as well as admonished me this past year; and for all of them I am extremely thankful. 

As a mother, the death of a child is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The pain, regret, deep sorrow, loneliness, and agony are emotionally devastating and overwhelming to say the least.  Yet, in my heart brokenness, ABBA has comforted me and continues to bring comfort and peace when my heart weeps. I am learning to live with the pain and not let the loss of my son hinder my growth in the L-RD. My grief has strengthened my faith in Yeshua though that may sound strange to some. 

Death on this side of Heaven is the result of sin and we all must meet the death-stranger someday. However, death is not the end, if we are in Messiah, Yeshua! Death is just slipping into eternity to be with Him. We can be grateful for the saving mercy of our Savior.

So, if I could speak with Aaron right now or see him for a moment, I would say… I love and miss you son so very much, and I can’t wait to see and spend time with you again. I thank G-D for the years He allowed you to be here with us. I carry you in my heart daily. I miss our talks, texts, fun outings, your barbecue :0) and even our squabbles. I am grateful that I got to be your mom. And, by the way Aaron, your son is doing okay. You would be proud of him.

The pain of losing Aaron is deeper that I can express, but the hope of Glory in Yeshua keeps me anchored as a child of ADONAI.

To all the moms and dads that have lost a child or children, I beg you to seek our Heavenly Father. To boldly take your pain to Him in prayer. He has promised to be near the broken-hearted. (Ps 34:18) Seek Him for comfort and peace. Refuse to get stuck in hopelessness, despair and anger, but be grateful for the time G-D allowed your child to be on this side of heaven. Trust Him, the Savior (sometimes hard), as you endure the suffering of loss. Honor Him and your beloved child (children) by staying under His covering and loving care.

Praise ABBA in all things!

Dr. Dee