All posts by Dee

About Dee

Dr. Dee Jackson was born and raised in Oakland/Berkeley, California and attended private schools. She is an educator with over 25 years of experience working as a Classroom Teacher, Literacy Coach, Reading Recovery Teacher, Biblical Studies Instructor and ELD Teacher. She is also an Entrepreneur (home based business), Marriage Coach and Blogger. She has been the keynote speaker at various churches sharing the Gospel. Dr. Jackson was a co-producer of a Christian Radio program out of Florida. Dr. Jackson’s blogs are focused on a variety of subjects. Her challenges and experiences in life have produced in her the character and strength to persevere in spite of challenges. She has a passion for helping couples and family live out their covenant commitment. She shares her experiences in order to encourage, motive and remind others that each day is a new opportunity to fulfill one’s purposes and to be someone’s smile.

Internet Marketing Isn’t Rocket Science

Marketing Sense, , , , , , , ,

FreshPaintsuccessWhen it comes down to it, making money with Internet marketing isn’t rocket science. All you have to do is use paid or free methods that lead visitors to your offers, then use techniques within your content that maximize conversion rates.Without a doubt, paying for traffic is the easiest way to build your online business. You can sometimes get results within a few hours or even a few minutes – of launching your paid traffic campaigns. But as soon as the money runs out, usually so does the traffic.

The paid platform most marketers use is Google AdWords. It’s the biggest and most popular. But, there lies the problem: Google AdWords is so big that it’s often really hard to get your offers noticed by consumers. It’s simply so filled with competitors that you either have to spend a fortune bidding on the best keywords or risk getting little return for your marketing dollar.

Plus, Google has one of the worst support structures you are going to find anywhere. It also has built a reputation for being hostile toward affiliate marketers. Google has been known to ban accounts suddenly and without explanation. And they are so big, they can get away with it!

Alternatives to Google AdWords

But Google isn’t the only game in town. For many marketers, Bing and Yahoo offer better alternatives.

While between the two, Bing and Yahoo only account for 29.2% of the search engine marketplace, that’s 29% of billions of online users; and both are not only affiliate friendly, but offer better service as well.Best of all, while your competitors are spending a fortune bidding on the best keywords on Google, you can quietly, but effectively promote your offers on Bing and Yahoo without overspending on the best keywords.

Less Expensive Paid Methods

Two other little-used, but highly effective paid methods are Facebook Ads and solo ads.

Even though Facebook seems to share Google’s contempt for affiliate marketers, its ad program is worth considering, because of its ability to provide extremely targeted demographic and psycho-graphic information, so you can tailor your offers not only on things like age, gender and geographic location, but also on likes and dislikes, interests and preferences.

The biggest benefit of solo ads is the price. Your budget goes farther using solo ads as compared to working with a bigger, more expensive marketing platform. And, your ads are seen only by people who already have proven to be passionate about your niche.FreshPaintdare

Secret Free Traffic Methods

Right now, social approval signals are the top measure of site ranking. But creating back links to your web pages from high authority sites still can influence your page’s rankings.

Search engines consider authority sites to be anyplace web users go when they are searching for answers to niche-related questions. They include such site as Wikipedia.com, About.com, eHow.com, Yahoo Answers, and so on. Sites with the suffix .gov and .edu also are considered authority sites by the search engines.

Creating Links from Authoritative Sites

Here’s a fast, easy way to create links to your pages from authoritative sites:

  1. Go to any of these sites
  2. Create an article or comment on an existing post
  3. Leave a link to your pages in the About the Author box

When readers follow that link back to your page, you have a new high-target prospect and your page ranking will improve at the same time.

When you use these traffic generating secrets, you don’t have to spend a fortune promoting your offers or attracting new visitors to your web pages.

If you’d like more powerful marketing tips, as well as a way to generate conversion-ready Internet marketing prospects each month, click here to learn about http://track.mobetrack.com/aff_c?offer_id=42&aff_id=1602739

To You,

Dr. Dee

My-History

Loving G-d, , , , , , , , ,

Recently, I found my journal from 2009 as I was watching my grandson.  As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-d[1] has brought me!  Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years earlier, with the official separation on July 25, 2009. past future road sign

However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way!  The purpose of this writing is to praise G-d for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love and hopefully to encourage you, my reader!  As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life.  Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember!  Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.

My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-d had waiting for me!  All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom!  When I became single, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all the time.  Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior.  There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me.  Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living within my shattered world once again. FreshPaint-brokeness

Then, as time passed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry.  So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, I look great, and I am ready for G-d’s choice (husband) to step into my life.  I am also ready for ministry, as G-d has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors!  Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.

In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-d is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes.  The MOMENT we hold now is not our final destiny in Mashiach (Christ)!  This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty. There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and His promises for those who trust in Him.

Please know and believe that G-d will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog.  He will see you through and He does hear our prayers.  He is the Resurrection and the Life. I am so happy that I serve the Living G-d whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!

FreshPaint-resurrection life

Be encouraged today, and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will be better or bitter on the other side of your drama.

The choice is always your call.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

**********************

[1]The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One True One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to reiterate Who He Is. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.

Called to Action

Loving G-d, Loving Self, Relationships, , , , , ,

What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias. (http://www.onbeing.org/program/albert-einstein-the-negro-question-1946)

Albert Einstein, as many of you already know was a brilliant Scientist who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1921 for his general theory of relativity.  However, he was also very passionate about nuclear disarmament, and he actively spoke out against racism in this country. In 1946, he spoke on the ill effects of hatred and contributed financially and in other positive ways to make a difference in the lives of various African-Americans such as W. E. Dubois, Marian Anderson, and Paul Robeson. Yet, these additional remarkable humanitarian efforts, in my experiences, have not been taught in our history books.  Admittedly, I did not know this about Albert Einstein until recently.  This information was posted on social media during turbulent times in America at the writing of this post.

I checked several sources to confirm the aforementioned. Most references do not even mention his involvement in the civil rights activities of his day, and mainly discussed his legacy as a Scientist, his personal life and his flight from Germany. Yet, he was a man who believed in the fair treatment of all people and within his arena, he chose to speak on the ills of racism as he spoke about the theory of relativity. Albert Einstein had the courage to speak on the evils of racism in our country, and unfortunately, racism is still prevalent today.  Racism is a form of hatred, but all hatred, regardless of its forms wreaks havoc at every juncture, on every person. My point…

As I am writing this blog, in recent weeks, here in the United States of America, we have witnessed two African-American men killed by police officers, one of which was shot in front of his girlfriend and their four-year-old daughter; 5 white police officers gunned down in alleged retaliation, as well as 7 other police officers wounded; several unarmed Latino men killed by police officers; two bailiffs killed by an inmate during the transportation of that inmate; 49 people slaughtered in Orlando, and this is just a few murderous incidences monopolizing the current local news stations. The violence endured by these victims, their families, and their friends is incomprehensible. Few of us can truly relate to the horror of a loved one being killed within the confines of horrific hatred! At least I can’t imagine, but my/our hearts still ache for those who are subjected to acts of violence and loathing. So the question becomes, what can we do?

For me as a believer in the Highest G-d, I am thoroughly convinced that our first line of defense is humbling before our Creator in sincere and fervent prayer; believing, knowing and expecting Him to respond to our prayers. Our praying must be heartfelt and without ceasing. Second, I believe, we have to realize we are in a war, a spiritual war, and that the horrors of hatred are heart matters. G-d is on the only One equipped to move and change hearts, but He uses those of us willing to be His Messengers of Love. Once we realize that the battle is the L-rd’s, and we diligently plead for Him to move in our communities, our country, then we have to get up off our knees, and actively become involved in making a difference in the lives of others.

How can we make a difference? There are many obvious ways to make a difference, such as mentoring others, volunteering with various organizations, which seek to help end FreshPaint-quotethe violence, become more politically astute, and seek to work within the governmental system to get laws changed, etc., and vote for the candidates you believe will best help this country. Also, put your money in organizations that are positively serving the community. Stop spending your money with companies that exploit their workers and buy their goods from others who exploit their employees. In addition, begin to make a difference and show love to others, just by smiling, speaking to people, showing respect, being courteous, and like-wise teaching your children/grandchildren to do the same. Finally, speak up on behalf of those who are victims of societal ills, and take a positive stand for justice and righteousness.

If you are a believer in Judeo-Christian principles and live by the Word of G-d, then you know there is no color, gender, religious persuasion or other diversionary groupings in Yeshua (Jesus). We have been called to be One in Him, the only HOPE for our salvation in this life and the life to come. In our calling to be, means our calling to do. We are called to be people of actions. We are called to be G-d’s salt and light in the earth.

We must speak, live and take a stand for each other. Albert Einstein and countless others used their platforms to emphatically speak on manners contrary to the liberty of others. If something is wrong, we need to speak out and say it is wrong. We just can’t go along to get along. As people of the Most High G-d, we have to be willing to demonstrate what His love looks like in practical ways in our homes, work places, and everywhere we find ourselves in our daily lives.

Let me urge you to figure out how you can best show love towards your neighbor in order to bring about change; in order to chip away at the violence drowning us; in order to end bigotry, racism, or any other kind of ism. Again, Albert Einstein says it best: What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias.

It’s your call to action…

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Note:  The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of love, respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustain-er of the Universe. He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to understand my position. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.

Shame On Us

Loving G-d, , ,

FreshPaint-grave headstonesAnother brother bites the dust! I am so sick of seeing the many black men who have been shot and killed.  The radial violence perpetuated on black men in our society is seriously a major issue. I am personally outraged by this continual pattern in our society.

Terror, violence, mayhem seem par for the course, regardless of ethnicity, gender or religious persuasion. If it isn’t someone being shot, killed, raped, thrown over some bridge, then we are privy to the massacre we just witnessed in Orlando, Istanbul, or other acts of mass destruction around this globe.

It seems to me that the world is exploding in hatred at exponential levels! We are continually force-fed violence through the dramatic sensationalized videos and images from the news and social media. The continued violence that society is consistently bombarded with on a daily basis is ridiculous! And, truly, I would imagine, unfortunately, that many folks are being desensitized by the consistency of our societal horrors, and/or simply don’t care.

Shame on us! When one person is destroyed, we all suffer! When one community is violated and their misery is paraded on the world stage, we all suffer disgrace! One child is thrown off a cliff by some delusional person, we all worry about our children and our hearts cry out. Bombs, assault rifles, knives, whatever the weapon of destruction suits its predator, its victim(s) suffers as a result. And, of course I could go on and on, but I think my point is clear.

FreshPaint-guns

Yet, as I vomit my disgust for the violence, which surrounds us, I am reminded of the One who ultimately is our deliverer and the healer of our land.

My heart aches! My deepest sympathy and condolences to the families who have had to endure such horror! G-d, please help us! Join me in prayer. Our hope is not in political madness or laws…our hope is in the ONE who can heal our land through repentance. All else is futile.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Tips For Marriage Counseling Success

Relationships, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FreshPaint white couple

 

 

Has your marriage hit a brick wall? Are your attempts at solving conflict seem futile? If so, then counseling may be one of your answers. However, going to marriage counseling is not just about showing up and sitting down. Counseling success is hinged on active engagement, honesty and transparency. Therefore, in order for marriage counseling to have the best chances for your success, here are some tips.

  1. List the reasons why you need to speak to a third person. Are you having communication issues, intimacy issues, financial issues, etc. Clarify and write down your reason(s) prior to your first counseling session. Be sure to interview several marriage counselors or coaches and select someone you both feel comfortable with and someone who is committed to your success. If you are a Messianic/Christian couple, select someone who has the same biblical mindset.
  2. Set goals for the marriage. For Example: we both want to save our marriage, we want to better communicate with each other, we want to respect each other’s differences, etc. Again, be clear on the reason(s) as to why you are seeking counseling. Ensure that both partners are still interested in saving the marriage, and there isn’t a desire for a separation or divorce.
  3. Commit to the process for at least 6 months to a year in order to give yourselves the full opportunity of working out issues. Sometimes issues are related to childhood baggage and/or unresolved hurts from previous relationships. Committing to the process will ensure you get to the root of the problem so healing can transpired.FreshPaint-certificate of marriage
  4. Do not threaten separation or divorce during the time of counseling to which both of you have committed. Any threats of divorce will certainly undermine the success of the counseling.
  5. Be ready to take responsibility for your part in the marriage difficulties. Be accountable and willing to ask forgiveness and work on improving self. It is essential that you are willing to change personally for the better. Think about the accusations your spouse makes consistently concerning your behavior during an argument or whenever. If those comments are the same, then consider your words and behavior, which may need to change, or attempt to understand why your response is irritated by your behavior.
  6. Do not complain or speak negatively about your spouse to others, especially during the counseling period. Give yourself the best opportunity to reconcile differences within the marriage. Sometimes, people, especially friends will interject negativity into the situation, which could include advice to leave to give up on the marriage. This will weaken the reconciliation process, if not destroy any chances of resolution. If you must speak to someone, make sure it is someone who will fully support your efforts, and desires the best for you and your spouse.
  7. Prior to meeting with your coach or counselor, do not tell your spouse what to say during your counseling sessions. Remember, the only way to healing is through complete honesty and transparency. There is no need to feel embarrassed during a session with your coach or counselor. They are there to help.
  8. Make counseling sessions and the homework a priority. Counseling is only as good as the work each person is willing to put in to grow individually and as a couple.
  9. Realize there is no over-night cure. Again, stick with your obligation to go through counseling and be willing to honestly look at your great, good and awful behaviors, commit to change, and commit to the process.black and white couple

Challenges within a marriage are par for the course. However, couples who truly love each other and are committed to each other can overcome grievances and challenges, and enjoy their lives together. Choosing someone to journey with you as a couple can be one of the answers to your difficulties. Yet, as a couple, you have to be willing to put forth the effort to heal the wounded areas in your relationship. The choice is always yours.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Crossroads

Loving Self, , , , , , ,

wherewithmanWhen you get to the fork in the road take it! (Tessin)

When I first heard this statement, I was confused on its meaning. However, the more I pondered this saying, the more the meaning began to unfold. I believe it means to choose to go to the left or the right, but do not stand stagnant or stationary considering which way to go. Make a decision! Now, you might have a different idea about the meaning, but for me, the central point of the saying is to avoid procrastination.

How many times do we put off for tomorrow, something we could do today? How many of us begin a new diet on Monday, then fall off the diet on Tuesday? How many of us put off saving money, pursuing our passions for tomorrow, instead of working today to meet our goals. It’s easy to put off doing things for tomorrow, but, for many, tomorrow never comes.

Today, now, as you are reading this blog is all the time you/I have promised. Tomorrow is not promised is a popular saying. However, not even the next moment is promised; life is one breath, one second, one step at a time. As we hear the news about the tragedies rampantly destroying the lives of many of our neighbors, none, at least most, I would dare to say, received a text message letting them know of their imminent demise.   Many fathers, moms, children, sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts leave in the morning as part of their daily routine; yet, many do not return home. Police officers, firefighters, victims of police brutality,  others forms of violence, teachers, doctors, etc. are literally called daily to stand before their Maker. On a lighter note, many who plan on finishing school, going on a vacation, calling/visiting a love one, starting a new business or hobby, never realize their goals, because their tomorrow never comes.

My point, while you have today…do today.  Tell someone you love them. Start that diet/exercise regimen and stick to it. If you are working an online business, today and each day, work on your business. Contact your team and encourage them to remain faithful in their efforts to change their personal financial landscape and that of others on their team.  Encourage yourself to take charge of your business, and do not wait for your up-line or today is the daydown-line to help you get started. Do it yourself.  If you need to call, email or text those on your list, do it while it is today, instead of putting it off for tomorrow.  Whatever you are putting off for tomorrow and you can do it today…then be encouraged to do it today.

Remember, when you get to the crossroads, pick up the fork and take it. Today is your day!

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Anger’s Fury

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , , , ,

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22anger and coffee

Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division.  Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder.  Anger affects every cell in the body.

Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.

The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on othanger collageers as well.

Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?

We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities.  Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”.  As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.

Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.

I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Sizzling or Soothing… Words Speak

Loving G-d, Loving Self, , , , , , ,

talking megaphoneWe all know how powerfully words affect our world view, our attitude and how we think of others and ourselves. Do you remember the kiddy rhyme: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Yeah, right! This is one of the biggest and most destructive lies ever told to children! The intention of the saying may be honorable in an effort to get children to ignore evil, negative and disgusting comments. However, the creative force behind negative words pierce the very soul and spirit of the person on the receiving end.

How many of you can remember being called outside-of-your name? How many can remember being called ugly, fat, loser, poser, bit–, mother f—–? How about n—–, fa—- or bast—? How about someone condemning you to the pit of hell for adultery, an abortion, cheating on a spouse, filing bankruptcy, lying etc.? Have you ever experienced condemnation, hatred, bigotry, put-downs, abuses and other evils, because of that little rudder in someone’s mouth? If you have not experienced any of the above or worst, you are truly either blessed or living outside of the human experience.

Anyone who has been at the receiving end of a bully’s furious spewing knows that negative words are a destructive force like a double-edged sword ripping flesh apart. I would think, many of us know better than to repeat the old adage about sticks and stones, but more importantly, we do not seem to fully grasp the power of  words. So, why do we repeat sayings we know are false? Why do we deceive ourselves with seemingly comforting words, which instead burn unseen scars upon our souls? Why do many of us persist in the deception that words cannot and do not harm?

man speaking pointingThe biblical principle in James 3:1-12 vividly outlines the might and power of words. Words can create positive, encouraging and loving environments or destructive, damaging or negative environments whether spiritual or physical. The reality of destructive language is obvious, yet somehow we continually dismiss the influence of words.

Destructive language reaches beyond being on the receiving end of a bully. We often times bully or torment ourselves based on our circumstances, self-hatred and more. We speak evil of ourselves to ourselves and others. We compare ourselves to others and spew self-destructive thoughts inwardly and outwardly denying the very glory we have been innately given. We listen and believe lies, instead of the truth about how much we are loved and longed for by the Creator.

Whether it is personal, social or political, we are daily bombarded by negative words meant to kill, steal and destroy our very souls. However, we can choose to be part of the negativity, or we can choose to make a positive difference. We can choose to listen to voices of evil, or we can choose to shut the voices down. We can choose to think of ourselves in mediocre or vile ways; or we can choose to love ourselves, and thus inevitably, we will demonstrate love for others. Clearly, words are powerful and affect us. It is our choice to either speak words of love or words of hatred.

Are your words sizzling and negatively destructive or are your words soothing and positively uplifting? Do your words make others laugh, smile, frown or cry?  Do others cringe at the sound of your voice? Or, do others welcome your loving input into their lives and the lives of others?

black woman smiling

You make the choice each time you speak.

DocsMusings!

Dr. Dee

 

86 Loving Ways to Care

Relationships, , , , , , ,

love goggleHappy and loving marriages require loving and positive actions. Most woman, I would imagine want to enjoy their husbands! Who want to toil in an arduous relationship? The answer is obvious! In relationships, especially marriages, there are many ways to encourage your husband, which will build him up and contribute to a happier life together. It is my contention that a loving wife can easily encourage her husband. A wife’s approval is powerfully vital, and applying the following steps consistently will make a positive difference in your marriage. Listed below are just 86 ways to inspire and encourage your spouse.

  1. Communicate with him respectfully
  2. Respond to him gently
  3. Let him know how important he is to you
  4. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree
  5. Let go of the small stuff
  6. Ask for his help
  7. Let him help and protect you
  8. Tell him you love him
  9. Tell him you like him
  10. Tell him you respect him
  11. Tell him he is the greatest person in your life
  12. Give him space for hobbies or quiet time
  13. Let him know how much you appreciate him
  14. Show him that your respect him and trust him
  15. When you go out on dates, do not bring up negative issues or problems
  16. Focus your attention on the great things he does right
  17. Show interest in what he feels is important in life
  18. Show him that you enjoy spending time alone
  19. Be happy and positive when he comes home
  20. Do not allow any family member or friend to treat him disrespectfully
  21. Defend him to any family member who attempts to dishonor him
  22. Compliment his efforts above his performance
  23. Seek his advice when you seek challenges
  24. Set and work on goals together
  25. Respect his leadership in the home
  26. Be forgiving when he offends you
  27. Find ways to show him you need him. Men need to be needed.
  28. Do not bombard him with “honey-dos”
  29. Quickly admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness
  30. Rub his feet, neck, and shoulders when he is stressed
  31. When he wants to talk, actively listen and ask questions
  32. Tell him you are proud of him
  33. Give advice in a loving manner and do not nag
  34. Reserve energy for intimacy
  35. Praise him for being a good man
  36. Text him love notes during the day
  37. Leave him a sweet voice mail
  38. Brag about him to others even if he is not there
  39. Share your feelings in a concise way
  40. Tell him 3 things you appreciate about him and why
  41. Honor him and show respect in front of others
  42. Help him accomplish his family and personal goals
  43. Give him space if he is in a bad mood or doesn’t want to talk
  44. Don’t compare him to others, especially in a negative way
  45. Tell him thank you for the special things his does
  46. Write “I love you” across the bathroom mirror
  47. Leave love notes for him to find
  48. Work to get rid of the negative things he does not like about you
  49. Do not expect him to notice everything you do
  50. Consult him before making important plans
  51. Let him sleep in when possible
  52. Do not criticize his intelligence
  53. Initiate sex sometimes
  54. Get to the point during discussions
  55. Wink at him when you are across the room in public
  56. Smile at him often
  57. Give him the benefit of the doubt in all situations
  58. Try not to quarrel over words
  59. Do not call him out of his name during arguments
  60. Attack the issue(s) not him
  61. Be kind and polite to him
  62. Stick to financial goals and do not sneak purchases behind his back
  63. Do not blame him for everything that goes wrong
  64. When he blows it, don’t throw it back up in his face
  65. Be understanding
  66. Never argue over money – figure it out in a respectful way
  67. Hold his hand when out in public
  68. Snuggle close when possible
  69. Don’t expect him to read your mind – tell him what you need, think and/or want
  70. Check with him before you throw anything of his away
  71. Work to stay in shape
  72. When you are angry, do not give him the silent treatment
  73. Look your best, especially when out in public
  74. Be his best cheer leader
  75. Acknowledge his successes in everyday situations
  76. Focus on his positives
  77. Patiently show how you need him to love you
  78. Encourage healthy eating
  79. Thank him for being who he is
  80. Enjoy all the time you have with him
  81. Remember to keep humor alive in the relationship
  82. Do things he likes sometimes without grumbling
  83. Plan a romantic dinner or trip for the two of you to a place he loves
  84. Cook his favorite meal and serve him while he sits
  85. Treat him like a king – royal, special and beloved
  86. If you believe in prayer, pray for him consistently

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Just Musing

Loving Self, , , , , , , , , ,

Just sitting here listening to “Shadows” by Lindsey Stirling sipping on a glass of red wine and thinking about you, my reader. Here in Georgia it is a gorgeous Sunday afternoon with the temperatures around 71 degrees with light winds. A perfect afternoon for writing! I am so blessed that I get to share my thoughts with you.

gratefulToday, I feel grateful for my life, my children, my family, my career, my triumphs, challenges and even failures. This morning I woke up thinking about how unbelievably fast my life has reached this point and how much time I have wasted on whatever. Like so many, I have allowed myself to wallow in the quicksand of regret, and shame sinking to lows I never deemed possible. But, today, as I look out of my study window writing to you, I am reminded of all the beauty that life still holds for me and for you.

It is so easy to whine, complain, and gripe, and so easy to forget about the things in life which are good. Wow, this music is so sweet! It really helps to relax my soul. Let me urge you today, to enjoy each moment of your life and choose to do good and be a blessing to others. As we struggle in the difficulties of life’s drama, there is always someone who has challenges even greater than ourselves. Oftentimes, our thinking perpetuates the negativity of a situation, thus causing us to feel victimized and powerless. Yet, in many situations we can rise above the negativity of our thinking, and begin to grow from dramatic situations and live a healthier life.

Our thoughts are extremely powerful, and unchecked can run rampant causing undesirable behaviors, views, feelings, and even negative physical manifestations in our body. For example, if someone says, I’m stupid and I will never amount to anything, chances are they won’t. Or, I’m so fat, I will never lose weight, then they will never lose weight and they will continue to over eat and stay obese. Finally, a person claims, I will never forgive him/her for what he/she did, and I will never trust another person, then trust will always be a struggle.

Our behavior is directly related to our thoughts. If we have loving thoughts towards ourselves and others, our behavior will be indicative of that. If we have negative or hateful thoughts towards others we will behave likewise. Consider the media and all the violence bombarding society. Clearly, folks do not murder someone because they love them. Terrorist activity, rape, theft, abuse and more is not steeped in love! Our behavior is based on our thoughts. If we love, we demonstrate loving actions towards ourselves and others. The converse is equally true.

Our thoughts stimulate our emotions. Our emotions determine our attitude. Our behavior is based on our attitude. What is attitude? Our approach, belief, thinking, outlook on whatever subject or person we are thinking about. We can choose to think positively or we can choose to think negativity. We can choose to live in regret, shame, remorse or guilt. Or we can choose to forgive ourselves, others and even G-d and learn from the challenges in order to live a healthy and happy life. shadow

Again, I am grateful for all life’s experiences and the freedom to share them with you. Be encouraged today, to enjoy today. Let go of all the negativity which impacts your life and make the decision to control your thinking. Make the decision to relish in the dance of life, which our Creator has bestowed on us. Choose to control your thinking in order to live a life filled with love and gratitude. Choose the light and not the shadow.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Shadows by Lindsay Stirling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCsyshUU-A