Tag Archives: Covid-19

Why me?

Death, Loving G-d, , , , , ,

Suffering usually brings about the question – WHY ME? As believers, our response to suffering ought to be why not me? Yeshua said we would suffer and we would have trials and tribulations in this realm. But, what about…

If you have read any of my previous posts, you know that my youngest adult son, Aaron passed away on October 19, 2024. And, as I have mentioned before, my healing is one heart beat at a time. Some days are better than other days. Today is a pretty good day. It is a gorgeous sunny day in Europe, quietness blankets the neighborhood and I’m not crying as I am writing this post.

Earlier today, I was thinking about why me, why did my son have to die and I started to weep, but in the next moment I thought…why not me, for Yeshua said I would suffer in this life, (paraphrased). Yeshua died and His mom wept as did His Father. So does that make suffering less painful or easier? You know the answer, but it should give us some comfort and perspective. I’m not there yet.

dramatic landscape of island geological rift
Photo by Jan Schwebel on Pexels.com

My son’s death has been the hardest emotional earthquake I have ever known. I have had many emotional storms and losses throughout my life. The passing of other family members though devastating hasn’t compared to the losing of my son. Previous failed relationships though hurtful and disappointing, again no comparison. Divorce, loss of material wealth, Covid, surgery, sickness, all seem inconsequential to his passing. Yet, his death is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. I’m figuring I will get past the devastation of his death, but I will always carry him in my heart and I will always love and miss my son.

Aaron would not want me to be as sad as I am. I can hear his voice in my head, Ma relax, I’m good. I’m working on that part as well, i.e., trying to relax – be at peace! Aaron used to tell me that we (believers) do not have a clue as to how much G-D truly loves us, so I have to believe he, Aaron is with the L-RD. And, yes, I believe Yeshua loves us, but some days when I am really sad and feeling isolated, I want to feel the love of the Father and see His face. I desire a big hug from the L-RD! 

I realize there are some of you who have also lost a child or children and your hearts are broken as well. I know the pain. I pray in some small way, my sharing will bring some sense of something. I don’t even have a word for something, but hopefully you get it. 

In Psalm 34:18, it reads, The L-RD is close to the brokenhearted. For those of us who have lost children or a loved one, let us be comforted by this Scripture. And, when we doubt this to be true, let’s seek ABBA for confirmation and peace.

So, during my times of suffering…why not me? I deserve suffering. I’m no better than the next person, but I’m grateful for HIS promise of comfort, love and Shalom. 

It’s a pretty good day!

Dr. Dee

COVID-19 The Blessings…

Loving Others, , , , ,
Praise His Holy Name

Lift Him up and behold the glory of our G-D and King! The head of His family and all the earth. Lift Him up and let His Name reign and be not afraid for He is good and desires to demonstrate His love for each of us.

Why are we so afraid and consumed with the affairs of this world? Oh how we have preoccupied ourselves with the activities of others who hate G-D and His people, especially with the hype and disasters surrounding COVID-19, the election, violence, scandals, and more. 

There are so many commentaries about 2020 that it is hard to keep it all straight, no less who or what to believe. So much more negative than positive to say the least!  Don’t you get tired of the “downers”, “doomers”, “gloomers”, “haters”, “violence-whores” and I’m sure you could add to this list. However, this blog is not about the wretched and the evils which attempt to torment our souls consistently on a daily basis! This blog is about and a reminder of the goodness of our L-RD.

I just want to list some positive personal points about 2020. 

  • If nothing else it has deepened my appreciation for my family and friends. I had the opportunity to see most of them twice this year and that was a true blessing. See, we live in various states and countries, so seeing them was extra special this year.
  • I was blessed to buy a townhouse in the summer and that was a real blessing! I have had lots of homes and lost them all for various reasons. However, G-D blessed me with another home I can call ours…the L-RD’s and mine.
  • I was invited to teach at a middle school after losing my position at an elementary school.  Initially, I was worried and upset about being placed in the right teaching position, but G-D worked things out better than I hoped and prayed for. I am also working at home, so I am grateful that I do not have to commute and I am grateful to work for a principal who believes and honors her staff.
  • Gyms were closed for a while, but they are back open. I put on some “COVID” fat, so I need to exercise. I am so grateful to get out of the house and workout on a regular basis.
  • On Friday nights, friends and myself usually get together for dinner, Torah Study and discussion of social issues. I am grateful that we did not allow COVID-19 to keep us apart and G-D has blessed us and our study for being faithful to Him. We’ve even had several new guests share a meal with us and fellowship.
  • Family Chats have also become part of our norm! We ZOOM from various places in the country in order to stay connected. Seeing family and laughing is so much fun on Zoom. I am grateful for this technology which allows us to interface.
  • My health has been great for the most part this year. I did, however, hurt my knee between the gym and missing the stairs not once but twice. My knee is on the mend, but it has been a process. I am seeing a physical therapist who has really helped me. I appreciate him and the work he is doing. I am grateful.
  • I am also so grateful for more things that I can name including my ability to think, write, read, see, hear, feel, walk upright, laugh, cry and even embrace boredom at times. Also, for all the provisions G-D has afforded me during this past year, including the very special man in my life.

So yeah, just like you I am so OVER COVID-19, but COVID-19 nor the ills of the world will determine my perspective. G-D as always proves He is greater than all the evils and mayhem of this world. We as believers, must believe He is greater and He will be with us always because He loves us.

If you have not received Yeshua (Jesus) as your Savior, L-RD, Redeemer and brother, you are missing out on Salvation and Shalom in this life and the life to come. Asking Yeshua to come into your heart and rule your life does not mean we will not face challenges, but He will always be with us every step of the way listening to our prayers, protecting and guiding us.

Are you ready? Ask Him into your heart today!

Much love,

Dr. Dee