May your Name be kept holy among your people and your instructions fulfilled without grumbling and whining. May your people who are called by your name cherish YOU, respect YOU, obey YOU and honor YOU with all their hearts, minds and souls. May your people be the salt and light in the earth as you have demanded; and may you be pleased with the service of your people…for YOU are holy and worthy of all praise, honor and prestige. You are love and there is no one else who touches our hearts, provides and sustains like YOU. You are the G-D of mercy – not giving us what we deserve; and the G-D of grace offering us the gift of forgiveness in Yeshua.
Today, I lift up families, friends and our nation, the USA…please according to your tender mercies…bless, protect, and squash the evil which is seeking to kill, destroy and steal our very existence, in the name of Yeshua I humbly ask. You have also commanded that we pray for our enemies, so ABBA may our enemies be moved to graciousness and resolution with others as they see your light and hear your beckoning.
Today, I also lift up Israel because you said in your word to pray for the peace of Israel. I pray for your Shalom to surround them and keep them safe during their various trials and tribulations as they war against their neighbors. I pray that lasting peace will be realized for better living conditions for all.
As you know, there are wars all over the world and rumors of wars; famine, disease, and all sorts of devastating situations. And, though I fail to comprehend all the matters which are heart wrenching, I trust in YOU because you are still in charge and handling these situations as you see fit. However, I pray that you would aggressively move to bring healing, peace, forgiveness and more according to your will in the name of Yeshua. May your Kingdom come!
You are the G-D who sees and knows all things. Please move across the land of Israel, USA and the world in ways which defines who you are and impacts people for your glory. Thank you for listening to my prayer. I love you L-RD!
We all make choices each moment of each day. Our choices range from minor to major and consequently, the consequences of those choices are realized whether positive or negative. However, many times when we are in the midst of decision considerations, we may not look far enough into the “future” in an attempt to make a wise decision.
This past Shabbat, I was listening to one of my favorite Rabbi’s, and he mentioned how many of us have regrets regarding our relationships with our children and wish we would have done things differently even as an honorable parent. And, though this may be the case, we have to repent from our errors and move on. Wallowing in self-pity and shame is contrary to G-D’s design of repentance and forgiveness. We have to forgive ourselves and as well as others. I was speaking to a friend on the same subject, and he mentioned that he has thoughts about things he could have done differently, and he was/is a very involved parent with both of his children.
Choices – life or death
Anyway, what about other choices? Marital choices, living accommodations, career choices, friendships, dining pleasures, worship communities and more. All of our choices whether demanding or miniscule equals consequences, positive or negative. This is both a natural and a biblical dictate.
So how do we make wise decisions? The older we get supposedly the wiser we get, goes the saying. However, I have found as a believer in Yeshua, the older I get the more I need His wisdom and guidance; and the less I can or need to lean on my own understanding. I am clear on the choices I have made, and my current consequences remind me of the lack of wisdom and knowledge I thought I possessed, and as well as the converse. There are many positive and wonderful consequences in my life, as well as not so much.
What do I mean? Examples:
Marriage and family have always been very important to me. Initially, in my naïveté, I thought of marriage in fairy-tale manner. But, as the years have passed and failed relationships have cruelly demonstrated, marriages that are not based in covenant with G-D at the helm, struggle at best or self-destruct. Why? The choices couples make will either strengthen or destroy their marriage, their children, family and/or friends. Strengthened marriages full of love, joy, companionship, understanding, friendship are many times beacons of hope and pleasure for the onlookers, as well as those privileged to thrive in those familial relationships. The converse, unfortunately, is true.
Marriages which wreak of strife, bitterness, dishonesty, selfishness, sarcasm, and resentment are on a fast track to futility and ultimately death (divorce). Who suffers? The marital partners, children, friends, family and others. And, once an individual is standing in the midst of middle or senior years, the consequences of life choices may prove contrary to their hoped desires.
Unfortunately, like my momma used to say, many folks today have a lack of staying-power. They quit when the going gets tough in their marriages, careers, diets or whatever it might be, because the heat of the struggle weakens or demolishes their resolve. We lack the desire or spiritual-muscle to depend on G-D to help us do our part and have the faith that He will do His part. And, those who do not have a relationship with ABBA usually depend on their own devices, which most times proves inadequate.
So again, all of our decisions matter!
Where is our hope and resolve with our past, present and future decisions? Our hope is in the L-RD! Our hope is in the L-RD! We hear this all the time in Christendom. However, what does that mean? What does it look like?
Each person has to answer that question for themselves as they examine their life and take stock of their beliefs, their relationship with the Master, Yeshua, and the practical application of their faith as the Bible instructs. Each person must reconcile their status as a sinner with ABBA according to His plan of salvation in His Word.
I believe this is a process and part of working out our salvation in Yeshua under the direction of His Holy Spirit beyond the verbal acknowledgement of our belief in Him. The basic tenets of our faith must be our foundation, our hope in His coming Kingdom, the presence of His Kingdom on earth and the light of His Kingdom living within us. Further, we must accept and put our faith in His redemptive efforts on the cross and His resurrection. Your celebration of your belief in Yeshua must be based on the Word of G-D and not man’s traditions; as well as we ought to fellowship with our community of siblings in the faith.
We all, myself included, have made decisions which have put us exactly in the place we find ourselves in this current moment. To deny that we did not play a role in our own current circumstances regardless of the positivity or negativity is to deny a basic fundamental truth. We are our consequences as a rule. Remember the rule, not the exception. To think we have innocently moved along in this life is a fallacy worth repentance.
Let’s consider a few examples based on our choices and potential consequences. Fill in the blank per your understanding.
Negative Choices:
Treating others with contempt … [fill in the blank].
Refusing to provide for self/family … [fill in the blank].
Excessive intake of alcohol … [fill in the blank].
Experimental or drug addiction … [fill in the blank].
Consistent poor food choices … [fill in the blank].
Lying, stealing … [fill in the blank].
Sex prior to marriage and/or without protection … [fill in the blank].
Marriage outside of G-D’s design … [fill in the blank].
Divorce … [fill in the blank].
Lack of education … [fill in the blank].
A life devoid of a relationship with Yeshua as Savior … [fill in the blank].
Positive Choices:
Prayer each day and throughout … [fill in the blank].
Loving G-D according to the Shema (Deut. 6:4-9) … [fill in the blank].
Reading G-D’s Word each day … [fill in the blank].
Emulating the Master Yeshua … [fill in the blank].
Living faith via practical application … [fill in the blank].
Obeying G-D’s teachings … [fill in the blank].
Repenting of offenses to G-D and others …. [fill in the blank].
Exercising self-control … [fill in the blank].
Education (life learner) … [fill in the blank].
Treating others with love, kindness and respect … [fill in the blank].
Loving and praying for adversaries … [fill in the blank].
Strong work ethnic … [fill in the blank].
Fighting the good fight of faith … [fill in the blank].
Staying power and responsibility … [fill in the blank].
Obviously, either list above is exhaustive. However, regardless of what or who you believe in, we are all passing through this life. Every single one of us is going to leave planet earth by way of the death locomotive. Your money, status, moma, papa, kids, husband, wife, etc., cannot hold us when the death angel arrives. You, me, all of us will have to answer to the stranger of death. What case will your life choices present to the ultimate Judge?
Surely the ONE who has created all things can guide us as we wrestle with decisions.
Therefore, while we have today, let us embrace the love of our Heavenly Father through our Savior Yeshua, and repent of our pasts believing and living as new creations in Him. Let us ask for wisdom, guidance and insights on the decisions we make in every area of our lives. Let us seek the counsel of ABBA before making rash decisions, because we are incapable of fully understanding the consequences of our choices. We have just a little while on earth and infinite years in eternity. Let us be encouraged to trust and believe in our Blessed Hope who holds our today and our tomorrow.
Be the consequence of your commitment to ABBA, so others will see the best of who you are in Him and be drawn to Him. One of our goals as believers is to live our faith as His hands, His feet and His voice. Seek G-D and He will help you work out your salvation in reconciliation with Him in all areas of your life. Finally, remember to pray for one another including guidance in decision making. James 5:16
We are the commodities of our choices.
Musings,
Dr. Dee
Note: If you find value in my musings, please feel free to share. Thank you for stopping by today and engaging in my contemplations! May G-D richly bless and keep you!
This morning I read the entire book of Colossians, the letter from Yeshua’s Emissary Sha’ul to the Messianic Community in Colossians in the Complete Jewish Bible. As I read through G-D’s words this morning, I was profoundly reminded of the remarkable and incomprehensible love He has for His people. He demonstrated His amazing love through His son Yeshua providing redemption, i.e., the forgiveness of our sins and eternal salvation. Yeshua, who is the visible image of the invisible G-D, is supreme over all creation, and in connection with G-D created all things; those seen and unseen. [Col 1:14-16]
Rabbi Sha’ul wrote an eloquent prayer to the community of faithful believers that is appros for believers in Yeshua today.
Colossians 1:9 Therefore, from the day we heard of it, we have not stopped praying for you, asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all the wisdom and understanding which the Spirit gives; 10 so that you may live lives worthy of the Lord and entirely pleasing to him, being fruitful in every good work and multiplying in the full knowledge of God. 11 We pray that you will be continually strengthened with all the power that comes from his glorious might; so that you will be able to persevere and be patient in any situation, joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father for having made you fit to share in the inheritance of his people in the light. [ESB]
Are we praying for each other in the same manner that Sha’ul prayed for the community of Colossians? Are we modeling the profession of our lips in our homes, communities, workplaces, etc.? Do our lives represent fruitfulness and growing in full knowledge of our Master Yeshua? And if not, why?
Prayer, I believe, is one of our spiritual obligations, which draws us closer to the Father, strengthens our resolve, and keeps us focused on WHO is in charge, as well as reminds us of our fragility. I used the word obligations, which might imply a burdensome duty, but really prayer should be a want to, can’t wait to, need to, delightful and fulfilling time of loving and communicating with ABBA.
Prayer is a communication vehicle, which molds and empowers our relationship with HaShem. Prayer is our means of hearing and being equipped by ABBA to do His will. I believe that we must focus on prayer all through the day and night keeping ABBA first and foremost. Yeshua was very clear about prayer prior to His murder on the cross. He told His disciples to always pray to the Father on His merit and authority; and the Father would hear and answer their prayers. [John 16:23-24] Yeshua did not say to pray to Him. We have this same promise as we choose to be faithful to Yeshua and follow His commandments.
I also read an article from the Messiah Magazine, Issue 27, which First Fruits of Zion publishes. In this article which recounted various near-death-experiences, one individual who had an NDE found himself dead and before the throne of judgment. According to the article, the man was surprised by G-D’s mercy towards him. His confusion was resolved when he began hearing the prayers of his community through the angels. After returning to this realm, he related the exact details of the prayers to his community that he never heard before his NDE.
I have read many stories about the experiences of those who have what’s been coined NDE or near-death-experiences, but this was the first one which mentioned the profundity of prayers and actually hearing the prayers of others; and G-D displaying mercy based on the prayers of others for the person unaware. I hope that makes sense? Whether you believe this story or not, I believe our prayers are vital in this life for those we pray for irregardless if they know we are praying for them or not. I believe when we pray according to G-D’s will He answers those prayers according to what He deems is best.
Therefore, as we pray for one another, as well as ourselves, let us pray with eternity in mind, full of love and G-D’s best for each other. Let us pray that we will grow in faith and application as we navigate through this life, and let others see the fruit of our following Yeshua, so they might be drawn to Him.
My prayer for us: May the mediation of our hearts flow from our lips and may others recognize our commitment and love for our Creator and Savior through Yeshua HaMashiach, Jesus the Christ. May we humbly serve as members of G-D’s Kingdom in ways which please Him. And, when we fail, quickly run to Him with contrite and sincere hearts knowing that He has promised to forgive and restore us. When our faith is weak and the burdens of this life overwhelming, may we ask ABBA for help to walk in the power of our comforter, the Holy Spirit knowing that He will reveal all truth to us and strengthen us. Help us to live demonstrating our love to You, ABBA and others by keeping your commandments. In the name of Yeshua.
Let us not be overwhelmed by fear, but in Him walk in the power of His love and mercy.
Men are no good! They can’t be trusted! Men just want sex! They’re animals! Men are worthless! You don’t need a man to take care of you!The hell with them!
Have you heard such comments from friends, family, and/or co-workers? Have you paid attention to how men are ridiculed in the media, either blatantly or subtlety? I would venture to say we have all heard the aforementioned comments and many more; and we have been entertained by such foolish and degrading comments. Now, before you get tangled in a tizzy, the focus on this blog is about our men; husbands, brothers, sons and/or friends. So don’t go writing me about the injustices inflicted on women. I know all too well about the mistreatment of women, been there and have my graduate degrees with honors on being mistreated!
However, as a mother and grandmother of men, I want to know, why as a society are we hell-bent on demonizing our men! Think about it. The depth of the question is beyond the scope of this blog, but the evidence is all around us via media, within our work places, churches, synagogues and more. Instead of celebrating the great men in our lives who are doing what is required, we dog and degrade them! Should not be!
We have moved so far away from the principles of G-D’s Torah (His teachings, laws) especially in our marriages that many women emasculate or belittle their husbands even sons, either intentionally or unintentionally on a regular basis. Sometimes, emasculation occurs during the dating process leaving some women to wonder, why has the man ghosted them! So, if you do not espouse having a relationship with the Creator through His Son Yeshua, you might want to stop reading.
If you are still reading, marriage is G-D’s design between a biological male and a biological female; and within His design, He decided on the roles for each person…both equal in His sight and joint heirs in Yeshua, but different roles. Read your Bible. (Ephesians 5) However, regardless of one’s position within the marriage husband or wife, BOTH – (I am speaking to believers and followers of Yeshua) are required to love and respect each other, first submitted to G-D and then to each other. Yet, G-D told man to love His wife, because He knew men would struggle with the love part; and He told women to respect their husband and submit to His g-dly leadership, because He, G-d knew women would have difficulty respecting their man if He didn’t do or live up to their expectations.
Admit it! Many of us have extreme difficulty respecting our men/husbands, especially if they are inadequate in some way, including the bedroom. Thus as women, we can speak very harshly to our spouses in ways that wound them deeply, and in a manner which does not bring honor to G-D. G-D expects better from us and with the help of His breath, His Spirit, we can and should do better.
Some of us have been raised under an umbrella of criticism of men, because of negative female experiences. Others, joke about the “stupidity” of men, and are oblivious to how the toxicity of their words hurt men whether spouse, son, or friend. The media slams men due to the liberal notions prevalent in our society, as well as undesirable actions of many men. Now, I get that every man who feels emasculated or small has not been verbally abused by his girlfriend, mother or wife…but that is not the point of this blog. I am again, speaking to women who claim to love and serve G-D; yet, WE have failed in honoring and respecting our men in some cases. And, though in the heat of the moment or in the “fun” of the moment it may seem justified; we are called to always show honor and respect to our men.
A study was conducted in 2014 by a neuropsychologist named Dr. David Lewis. This study demonstrated that men experienced more physiological changes in an emotional experiment than their female counterparts. This study according to the article in healthyway.com, men feel emotions just as much as women, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to societal expectations. Seriously, do we need a study to explain this to us? G-D’s word is clear on the vileness of the tongue and the necessity to love each other. (Ep. 4:29; Prov. 15:1; James 3:2-10) Any feeling or breathing human being is going to experience emotional currents both good and harmful. The expression of such feelings or lack of expression may be different, but emotional feelings are part of being human. My point, contrary to our stance on how men may or may not feel, it is imperative as women of Yeshua that we treat our men with respect.
Listed below are some comments, we make intentionally or unintentionally, especially when we are totally and completely enraged with our spouse, fuming with resentment and/or full of self-righteousness and bitterness. I confess, I have made derogatory remarks to the men I claimed to love. It wasn’t a pretty picture at best! I regret the disrespectful words I spewed in a belittling manner, and I have suffered grave loss because of my sins. Thank G-D for His forgiveness and learning from my mistakes.
Emasculating Actions/Comments:
Calling him degrading names. In a loving relationship, there is no room for name calling. Men have feelings too, and to tell a man he has no courage, a loser, etc., because maybe he is not dealing with a situation per your methodology will cause him to feel insignificant as a man. Worst, hit him with derogatory sexual remarks…duck for cover! (No physical violence of course.) Words bring life or death to the listener. Harsh words are a breeding ground for the evil one to infect the relationship with bitterness, hatred, anger, adultery, and death (divorce).
Pointing out his failings. Like us women, men are well aware of their flaws and do not need us to point them out or attempt to change them. In a loving relationship, we have to “love” the things we hate about the person, because part of loving someone is loving the whole person. If something is really an issue, then take the concern to G-D in prayer, and ask Him first to deal with the matter; and then to help you speak in kindness if applicable. And, remember, ladies, we spend an excessive amount of time and billions of dollars per year working on own our flaws. Maybe, we should spend just as much effort working on our inner woman.
Rescuing him in a conversation. This might happen in a conversation with others and you jump in, pushing him aside and begin to talk or argue for him. The fact that you intervened may cause him to believe you think he is unable to talk or defend his argument. Let him talk. He is a grown man and does not need a mother. If you are having difficulty keeping quiet, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to pray and adjust.
Criticizing him to family/friends. Keep your mouth closed! Personal matters between a husband and wife ought to stay between the couple, bar needing some counselling for a serious matter. Otherwise, criticizing your spouse because he doesn’t put down the toilet seat or eats with his mouth open or whatever, only glorifies that which you hate and makes him look awful to others. The point…don’t badmouth your man! Like momma use to say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all! Besides, many times when women badmouth their spouses, long after the couple has made up, others remember and view him less favorably.
Humiliating him in public.Arguments are inevitable. Couples disagree. Keep it private. If one argues in public, and the man retorts too loudly, then he could be labeled an abuser or the cops called. If there is arguing in front of the family, dad, brothers or Big Mama, then the issue escalates; and again, others will view him negatively. And, besides ladies, think about your reputation as a follower of Yeshua?
None of us are perfect, but as women who believe in Yeshua, we are commanded to respect our spouses. (Ephesians 5:33) And, though there are many other ways to emasculate or belittle our men, we ought to make a concerted effort to honor and cherish them. When we fail to honor the men in our lives, we ought to ask for forgiveness, even if we have belittled our sons, brothers, or other men.
If you have always honored and respected your spouse and others, then you are blessed and very special. For those who struggle in this area, ask G-D to help you. He is always available to hear our prayers and help us to overcome those sins which easily beset us.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn and confirmed that I will keep your righteous judgments. Ps. 119: 105-106
The noun form of the wordwillaccording to Webster’s dictionary means the mutual ability to decide to choose for oneself; strong desire or determination; a legal document stating how one’s property is to be distributed after death. The verb form of the wordwill, according to Webster’s dictionary, means to bring about by an act, bound to, to decide as by decree, to give or bequeath (to hand down) something in a will. Thus, when we say to ABBA (Father) of all creation that “I will follow”, we are in essence not only speaking an action concerning our choice to obey by decree or decision, but we are declaring our “death”i.e., death to our desires and determinations based on our self-idolatrous nature and desires.
Let me elaborate.
A will, a legal document exercised at someone’s physical death, is the distribution of personal properties and/or possessions. Therefore, as believers in the Most High G-D, once we have accepted the Master, Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus the Christ); we are to die to our flesh andwillall of our earthly possessions to him including our loved ones and enemies. Consequently, with the confession of our lips and the belief in our hearts, we have entered into a “legal” relationship with G-D through the blood of Yeshua and sealed by the Holy Spirit. However, legal and binding, covenant is a better term, because covenant means doing your part irrespective of the other person’s behavior. This is very comforting for those of us who know the L-RD, because unlike ourselves, He will never fail or leave us. And, with our best and most loving intentions towards G-D and others, it is impossible for us to walk in G-D’s type of love 24 hours each day. Thus, why we need a Savior!
Dying to the flesh is a conscious moment by moment endeavor and is accomplished via the magnificent inward and outward working of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit). [1 Corinthians 6:19; Ephesians 1:13; Titus 3:5] As believers we need the power, guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit because we are weak, frail and our hearts are desperately wicked when we seek to live apart from G-D’s teachings. Therefore, when wewill to do G-D’s will, we must ask the Ruach HaKodesh to assist us in being willing vessels for His purposes. We must have a strong determination to follow the Master regardless of the cost. We must decree to choose Him and entrust ourselves to Him. When we choose to join ourselves with the Master, Yeshua, we will experience Shalom and joy. [Philippians 4:7; Isaiah 35:10; 1 Peter 1:8&9] When we choose the Master, we will never thirst again in a spiritual sense, because we are created to innately know Him. [Matthew 5:6; John 4:14] Instead, we will begin to bask in His presence in this life and more so in the life to come.
G-D chooses to operate through willing believers to accomplish His will on earth. However, we must remember that doing His WILL is an act of our wills. It is a conscious commitment with maximum effort. If we seriously consider the Scripture in Matthew 7:21, Not everyone who says to me ‘L-RD, L-RD’ will enter in the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father in heaven; this should propel us to live as obedient servants for our heavenly Father.
Let us remember to willingly lift our hearts and our voices in worship, praise and prayer to the One who has created us. In addition, let our wills exemplify our daily death and burial with the Master, and let us run in the newness of our life in Him. And, when we fail and we will, quickly run to the Father in prayer and ask for forgiveness through our Savior and L-RD, Yeshua.
PRAYER: ABBA, Father lead me up the path of righteousness and I will follow. Father, I join my will, heart, flesh and mind to your will and desires as I walk in the salvation bestowed on me through Yeshua. When I fail, help me to quickly repent and turn from my self-idolatrous ways and focus my will, heart, flesh and mind on You. Help me to walk circumvent before you and others, so that I might please you with my life. I love you L-RD. In Yeshua, I pray.
War and Rumors of Wars…but the end is not yet. (Matthew 24:3)
In light of the current events between Ukraine and Russia the times we are living in are continually changing and becoming extremely darker. Evil lurks on every corner, every door post and everywhere people are positioned. And, as hard as it is not to be afraid, that is exactly what we must strive to be and do because of WHO we belong to.
Life can be very stressful and difficult when we constantly keep our minds and hearts embellished on the mayhem of this world. All areas of our lives will suffer, if we allow the evil of this world to supersede our faith in HaShem. It can be tough, but we cannot allow fear to overtake us as we watch evil, corrupt people attempt to rule and thwart the very liberties G-D has bestowed on us.
My mother recently died and being there to witness her last breath set me on a different trajectory in my approach to life. For many years, I have suffered with abandonment and rejection issues and as a result the one thing I so desired in life has eluded me. However, with her passing and my advanced age, I am realizing more each day that my lack of faith, my fear, and my deep interpersonal issues have hindered my ability to live a fulfilling life as G-D has intended. Ultimately, I am responsible for my response to ABBA and acting on what He has proposed for me. Those whom I have allowed to hurt me were tragic lessons and many years of wasted time wrapped in some happy memories. Now, I still have time to walk in His worth rather than the negative projections of others.
My point, as the adage makes plain, LIFE IS TOO SHORT! We have to stop worrying about all the “things” and choose to live, pray, worship and serve others, because we only have right now.
The families and folks in Ukraine and other war-torn countries or those in areas where extreme weather conditions have devastated their communities did not plan on enduring their current hardships. They are in need of our prayers at the very least. Not to mention the plethora of other calamities, ills, genocides and the list is endless, so it seems.
My encouragement to you, the United States is not exempt from any calamities that could come our way. Therefore, while you have today, prepare spiritually and prepare practically. Enjoy your family, love and forgive them, and put petty matters aside. Folks that have hurt you, choose to forgive them and let go of all bitterness, rage, hatred and malice. These tortuous attitudes only destroy you if you are harboring negative feelings towards others or yourself. I heard Steve Harvey say, holding on to unforgiveness, is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die! Profound – chew on that.
We are made in the image of G-D and we need to act like it. We need to have an attitude of gratitude and constant worship in our hearts and lips. Live each moment trusting and knowing G-D is our banner and strength. And, if war should come and destroy us all, we will arrive in heaven a little bit sooner.
Be blessed and know WHO you serve. He is the powerful and amazing G-D!
Ready and eager to call it quits on your marriage? Ready to throw in the towel, because everything isn’t perfect and does not meet your fantastical expectations? Then consider the following.
Lifelong commitment or a covenant marriage is not what most people think! It isn’t waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It isn’t cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep, peacefully every night after making wild passionate love. It’s not a clean home filled with the sounds of laughter each moment or the joyful sounds of children/teens serenely communicating.
Marriage includes but is not limited to someone who steals all the covers and snores! Marriage sometimes includes slammed doors, yelling, and harsh words. Marriage at least between humans is stubbornly disagreeing, and giving each other the silent treatment, until someone decides to relinquish with hopefully a tender heart. A tender heart which has healed and desires forgiveness both ways, but also where each person is accountable for their actions.
Marriage is coming home to the same person every day. Yet, coming home to that same person should not be boring or dreaded, but coming home to someone you know loves and cares about you. Loving as I have said so many times, means loving what we hate about the person, because it makes up the whole person. Folks, loving means dying to self and doing your part all the time. Marriage is laughing about all the great and stupid things you did together.
Marriage is about dirty laundry, unmade beds, messing garages, burnt meals and boring sex. Marriage is about the great times and difficult times, sickness and death. A marriage that desires to please G-D is about helping each other with the hard work of life! Marriage is sometimes sacrifice and selflessness. Marriage is about shutting your mouth sometimes, instead of spewing nagging and contentious words! Marriage is about cuddling with your lover when life is crazy and only tears flow, because words cannot express the anguish. Marriage is about making time for each other no matter what and much more.
When the honeymoon is over, sometimes marriage can be challenging. This person you love so much, chooses to make you feel loony tuned, insane, crazy and thoughtless all at once. Loving someone is not easy! But loving someone is worth the energy and time invested. I beseech you, bar abuse; do not give up on your marriage and loving the person you decided to make your lifelong partner. Again, it is well worth the effort and pleases our Father.
Yeshua calls us His bride. He put in love, mercy, forgiveness, sacrifice, effort, time and death, so we may have life in Him. Consider your spouse, if Yeshua delivered so we can have life and steadfastness in Him; certainly, we can extend love, time and effort to our spouses as children of the Most High G-D.
Covenantal marriage means upholding your vow even when you are ready to quit! Think about it. Yeah, you may be ready to quit, but don’t! Seek counsel if needed, but at least attempt to do your part to uphold your vow.
Men are no good! They can’t be trusted! Men just want sex! They’re animals! Men are worthless! You don’t need a man to take care of you!The hell with them!
Have you heard such comments from friends, family, and/or co-workers? Have you paid attention to how men are ridiculed in the media, either blatantly or subtlety? I would venture to say we have all heard the aforementioned comments and many more; and we have been entertained by such foolish and degrading comments. Now, before you get tangled in a tizzy, the focus on this blog is about our men; husbands, brothers, sons and/or friends. So don’t go writing me about the injustices inflicted on women. I know all too well about the mistreatment of women, been there and have my graduate degrees with honors on being mistreated!
However, as a mother and grandmother of men, I want to know, why as a society are we hell-bent on demonizing our men! Think about it. The depth of the question is beyond the scope of this blog, but the evidence is all around us via media, within our work places, churches, synagogues and more. Feel free to email me with your thoughts.
We have moved so far away from the principles of G-d’s Torah (His teachings, laws) especially in our marriages that many women emasculate or belittle their husbands even sons, either intentionally or unintentionally on a regular basis. Sometimes, emasculation occurs during the dating process leaving some women to wonder, why has the man disappeared! So, if you do not espouse having a relationship with the Creator through His Son Yeshua, you might want to stop reading.
If you are still reading, marriage is G-d’s design between a biological male and a biological female; and within His design, He decided on the roles for each person…both equal in His sight and joint heirs in Yeshua, but different roles. Read your Bible. (Ephesians 5) However, regardless of one’s position within the marriage husband or wife, BOTH – (I am speaking to believers and followers of Yeshua) are required to love and respect each other, first submitted to G-d and then to each other. Yet, G-d told man to love His wife, because He knew men would struggle with the love part; and He told women to respect their husband and submit to His g-dly leadership, because He, G-d knew women would have difficulty respecting their man if He didn’t do or live up to their expectations.
Admit it! Many of us have extreme difficulty respecting our men/husbands, especially if they are inadequate in some way, including the bedroom. Thus as women, we can speak very harshly to our spouses in ways that wound them deeply, and in a manner which does not bring honor to G-d. G-d expects better from us and with the help of His breath, His Spirit, we can and should do better.
Some of us have been raised under an umbrella of criticism of men, because of negative female experiences. Others, joke about the “stupidity” of men, and are oblivious to how the toxicity of their words hurt men whether spouse, son, or friend. The media slams men due to the liberal notions prevalent in our society as well as undesirable actions of many men. Now, I get that every man who feels emasculated or small has not been verbally abused by his girlfriend, mother or wife…but that is not the point of this blog. I am again, speaking to women who claim to love and serve G-d; yet, WE have failed in honoring and respecting our men in some cases. And, though in the heat of the moment or in the “fun” of the moment it may seem justified; we are called to always show honor and respect to our men.
According to a recent article, a study was done in 2014 conducted by a neuropsychologist, Dr. David Lewis. This study demonstrated that men experienced more physiological changes in an emotional experiment than their female counterparts. This study according to the article in healthyway.com men feel emotions just as much as women, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to societal expectations. Seriously, do we need a study to explain this to us? G-d’s word is clear on the vileness of the tongue and the necessity to love. (Ep. 4:29; Prov. 15:1; James 3:2-10) Any feeling human being is going to experience emotional currents good and harmful. The expression of such feelings or lack of expression may be different, but emotional feelings are part of being human. My point, contrary to our stance on how men may or may not feel, it is imperative as women of Yeshua that we treat our men with respect.
Listed below are some comments, we make intentionally or unintentionally, especially when we are totally and completely enraged with our spouse, fuming with resentment and/or full of self-righteousness. I confess, I have made derogatory remarks to the men I claimed to love. It wasn’t a pretty picture at best! I regret the disrespect I spewed in a belittling manner and I have suffered such grave loss because of my sins. Thank G-d for His forgiveness and learning from my mistakes.
Emasculating Actions/Comments:
Calling him degrading names. In a loving relationship, there is no room for name calling. Men have feelings too, and to tell a man he has no courage, a loser, etc., because maybe he is not dealing with a situation per your methodology will cause him to feel insignificant as a man. Worst, hit him with derogatory sexual remarks…duck for cover! (No physical violence of course.) Words bring life or death to the listener. Harsh words are a breeding ground for the evil one to infect the relationship with bitterness, hatred anger, adultery, and death (divorce).
Pointing out his failings. Like us women, men are well aware of their flaws and do not need us to point them out or attempt to change them. In a loving relationship, we have to “love” the things we hate about the person, because part of loving someone is loving the whole person. If something is really an issue, then take the concern to G-d in prayer, and ask Him first to deal with the matter; and then to help you speak in kindness if applicable. And, remember, ladies, we spend an excessive amount of time and billions of dollars per year working on own our flaws. Maybe, we should spend just as much effort working on our inner woman.
Rescuing him in a conversation.This might happen in a conversation with others and you jump in, pushing him aside and begin to talk or argue for him. The fact that you intervened may cause him to believe you think he is unable to talk or defend his argument. Let him talk. He is a grown man and does not need a mother. If you are having difficulty keeping quiet, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to pray and adjust.
Criticizing him to family/friends. Keep your mouth closed! Personal matters between a husband and wife ought to stay between the couple, bar needing some counselling for a serious matter. Otherwise, criticizing your spouse because he doesn’t put down the toilet seat or eats with his mouth open or whatever, only glorifies that which you hate and makes him look awful to others. The point…don’t badmouth your man! Like momma use to say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all! Besides, many times when women badmouth their spouses, long after the couple has made up, others remember and view him less favorably.
Humiliating him in public.Arguments are inevitable. Couples disagree. Keep it private. If one argues in public, and the man retorts too loudly, then he could be labeled an abuser or the cops called. If there is arguing in front of the family, dad, brothers or Big Mama, then the issue escalates; and again, others will view him negatively. And, besides ladies, think about your reputation as a follower of Yeshua?
None of us are perfect, but as women who believe in Yeshua, we are commanded to respect our spouses. (Ephesians 5:33) And, though there are many other ways to emasculate or belittle our men, we ought to make a concerted effort to honor and cherish them. When we fail to honor the men in our lives, we ought to ask for forgiveness, even if we have belittled our sons, brothers, or other men.
If you have always honored and respected your spouse and others, then you are blessed and very special. For those who struggle in this area, ask G-d to help you. He is always available to hear our prayers and help us to overcome those sins which easily beset us.
Just saying,
Dr. Dee
Note: Image was taken from www.duckgo/free images – no copyright infringement intended.
The problem with materialism is that it makes people feel less competent, reduces feelings of relatedness and gratitude, reduces their ability to appreciate and enjoy the good in life, generates negative emotions, and makes them more self-centered. (Author Unknown)
In a 2015 HUFFPOST article by Lindsay Holmes, she penned there were 100 things we could be grateful for. I suggest there are 1000’s of things we can be grateful for if we consider all that life has shown us currently and in our previous years.
Materialism is a tendency to consider physical comfort and material possessions more important than spiritual values. Thus, if a person believes that things are more important than spiritual values or having a relationship with Yeshua (Jesus); can a person ever truly be grateful or content in the moment?
Regardless of where you find yourself in life as of right now…happy, sad, rich, poor, broke, sick, single, married, homeless, etc., there is ALWAYS something to appreciate about today! Today is all we have – yesterday is gone and who knows about tomorrow. So, why are you thankful?
Here are just some of the reasons I am grateful:
1. Messianic Believer and saved by the redemptive work of Yeshua (Jesus). I could end my list here and that would be MORE than enough. 2. Health 3. Sanity of mind – at least on most days! 4. Family 5. Friends 6. Enemies…they help me practice kindness 7. Strangers…not friends yet 8. Employment 9. Food 10. Clothes 11. Housing 12. Transportation 13. Place of Worship 14. Weather 15. Living in America 16. Living in the neighborhood of my choice 17. Freedom of speech 18. Entertainment 19. Challenges 20. Wonderings 21. Opportunities 22. Etc.
There are many things I can be grateful for under each category listed above and more. There are many things in your life you can be grateful for as well, and give G-d praise for His overwhelming love.
Let me challenge you/us to consistently thank G-d for His goodness and His provisions with a heart of love and gratitude. Today, I will be grateful for this day! How about you?
DocsMusings,
Dr. Dee
Note: Photos – No copyright infringement is intended
Well, I finished my first teaching school year in Denver, and approaching my first year living in the Rockies. They call it the Rockies for a reason!
No…but really, I have enjoyed living in the beautiful state of Colorado for the most part. I have desperately missed family and friends from Georgia, but life in Colorado has been pretty good for me!
My baptism into the school system challenged me to rise above the obvious and explore below the surface. There were days I thought I was going to pack my two dresses and return to Georgia; or just lose my mind at the very least! Many nights my king-size sleigh bed embraced me by 5:30 PM until dawn, and upon waking – realizing …off to work I go!
Many days, I cried, complained, whined and prayed, only to wonder, why I moved to Denver? Teaching was extremely hard! But, thank G-d for friends and family who will put up with the same complaints over and over again. Yet, without the help of Adonai, and His assurance that the move to Denver was His will, I would have lost my mind, my health, my job and anything else in the path of attempting to destroy me.
So, this blog is dedicated to the very Savior, (Yeshua, Jesus) of my soul in this life and the life to come. Adonai, again has shown up and showed out in my life in marvelous ways, and I am truly grateful! He helped and is helping me to get settled in a Shul (Synagogue, Messianic) with wonderful people who embrace a Torah-life style committed to loving G-d, each other, and embracing the salvation of Yeshua as prescribed in the Word of G-d. The love and companionship of those who have accepted me has been life-giving. G-d always knows best…even when we think we know better; and His anticipatory love is surprisingly overwhelming and wonderful!
Yet again, work was extremely challenging at best, as well as tolerable. G-D brought me to the right place to grow as a professional and as a person. My hat is off to the leadership, my teaching partner, and other colleagues. Their support and encouragement helped to make each day a little brighter in the midst of mayhem, rebellion, pain, hurt, good, growth, and noticeable positive accomplishments by the end of the school year.
This school year’s life lessons have cemented once again the resilience and endurance available to us when we lean on and into G-d’s grace. I am excited that the year is over, but I am grateful for the experience and G-d’s management in my situation and the lives of my students. I could not have done it without Him, and the love from family and friends.
My point… without G-d, the One, True and Living G-d – I am nothing, weak, frail and afraid, and at times – enraged! With G-D all things are possible when we trust in Him, even when I/We are blinded by what seems to be the obvious.
Ready and eager to call it quits on your marriage? Ready to throw in the towel, because everything isn’t perfect and does not meet your fantastical expectations? Then consider the following.
