Tag Archives: Loving G-D

Prayer for Us

mighty-arms

You, L-rd, will keep the needy safe and will protect us forever from the wicked,
who freely strut about when what is vile is honored by the human race.

Psalm 12: 7-8

Dear Abba,

Your Word is true and You are not like any human that is fearful, lies, full of pride, sin and arrogance. We oftentimes justify our sins, excuse our laziness, and our personal gods are the bedfellows we cuddle up to night after night, day after day.  Unfortunately, we often do that which we know is wrong, and fail to do that which is right. We so many times elevate our needs over others and strut about in self-righteousness as a peacock wooing a mate.  Abba, many of our ways are devoid of purity, and yet, we say we are good, we are decent; at least some of the times, I am guilty of such.  How can we claim goodness and fail to trust, love and act according to the purposes you have laid out for us in your Word?

We delude ourselves and thus, we strive in a fog of self-idolatry and misconception! We esteem personal needs, goals and desires over You and for that we are surrounded by the vileness of that reality.  Yet, You have provided the light of Yourself, which is the bridge from emptiness, vileness, deceit and more, into the purity of You!  You are the only true hope for our longing souls.

The local and the world news is littered with the depravity of humanities’ failures and preferences for evil.  Our society is infected with violence and confusion which gnaws at the depths of our souls, and attempts to confuse and darken our journey. These are my musings, Abba; but, again, You are there…always there!  You beckon us into Your perfect peace through Your perfect patience, and Your perfect love to return to You and receive the ultimate gift of prosperity…. You and YOU alone!

prayer-with-rootsHelp us, help me, my family, my friends, my enemies, those reading this blog to see, hear and respond to Your calling, Your wooing.  Let Your voice thunderously permeate our souls turning us from darkness and despair… to YOU, the perfect protector, and lover of our souls. Profoundly help us to see, and hear, and respond in ways which provide You pleasure. Help us to remember, we were created for Your glory!

The days are extremely dark with violence, wickedness and mayhem continuously nipping at us and for some of us, dulling our senses! Yet, YOU are greater than the oppression, depression, destruction and mayhem plaguing our society.  Aid us in truly believing in Your greatness and love for us, and Your desire for us to live an abundant life in You!

Thank you for Your Word, Your Faithfulness, Your love, Your Son, Your Spirit, Your Protection, Your Provision, Your Providence, Your forgiveness! Thank you for being You!

I love you, Abba,

drdee

Hand of G-d

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When I was working on my Masters at Luther Rice Seminary, one of my professors insisted we memorize Psalm 139 as one of the requirements for the course. Later, during my quiet time, I was compelled to reread and pray this Psalm. Briefly, let me share one of my impressions.

Psalm 139 is a profound psalm, which speaks to the sovereignty of G-d, i.e., He is all-knowing and ever-present! He is subject over all things and all things are subject unto Him. There are several lessons we can draw from this particular Psalm, but for the purposes of this piece, I want to focus on the hand of G-d. If you read vs. 7-12, you will notice that David’s first response was to flee or run runner-femalefrom G-d. Nevertheless, where could he hide for wherever he went, G-d was there! However, in v 10, David realized that G-d is not trying to entrap Him, but to lead Him into His presence.

So it is with us! Many of us feel whether justified or not, that we are trapped in negative situations and/or conditions irrespective of the source of the negativity. Our first impulse similar to King David is to flee, run, escape, hide, or take flight without consulting or seeking G-d’s will. Often times, we look only at the natural circumstances, and fail to see G-d’s hand in the mix! And, if you are a believer in G-d, with faith in Mashiach, (Messiah), then G-d is in the mix!

Therefore, like David, we need to focus on the hand of G-d ,and follow His directive in whatever situation envelops us, and from there, do what G-d says to do! This is extremely heartdifficult at times, because it means dying to self, and living unto Mashiach. However, if we could only remember that it is G-d’s love, which draws us to Him, and that He will use whatever He feels necessary to get our attention; we would weather pessimistic conditions in our life a lot fairer.

Ultimately, our response is to notice and obey His leading. Living in this world is tough sometimes, but in Mashiach, we can be assured that His hand is leading us and not entrapping us! Therefore, be encouraged, persevere, persist in loving G-d and others, and prove your faith by good works, study His Word, and share the message of our Savior. Finally, know that G-d loves you and desires your/our undivided attention.

mountain

#DocsMusing,

Dr. Dee

Uncertainty

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My L-rd* G-d, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor, do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so. But, I believe that the desire to please you, does, in fact, please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And, I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. (Prayer composed by Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk)

Recently, I was watching an episode of West Wing on Netflix, and I heard one of the characters in the program paraphrase the prayer above. I was captivated by the prayer and decided to find out if the prayer was fiction or if in fact, had someone really composed this prayer. In the Netflix version, the character says, I always don’t know the right thing to do, L-rd, but, I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

 ocean-waveThis prayer is very intriguing, because it speaks to our weaknesses and our heart motives as believers in the Most High G-d. I find it very interesting that life is often challenging and difficult at best; and yet, most fulfilling as well. And, still, often times we, at least me, has no idea where I am going. My desires and dreams seem to keep pointing me in a certain direction, but the course and the ultimate goal is an uncertainty.

Many might say this sentiment exudes a lack of faith, determination, a certain grit, if you will. And, though dreams, desires and goals are necessary and a productive force as we travel this life, the end results, prior to the end results are completely unknown with absolute certainty! I propose that if the end were absolutely known, the entire sense of celebration during the process and  at the end, as well as the need for faith would be a waste of time.

G-d, however, did not call us to know exactly how things would turn out in this life with utter cast-iron certainty. goals-picHe did call us to trust Him with our dreams, desires, needs and/or goals. He has called us to love Him with the desire to please Him, even in our uncertainty of what lies ahead.

I believe in G-d and choose to embrace His subjection over me. He has proven His love, provision, protection over and over again in my life, the life of my family, friends and even those I do not know or dislike. The fact that you are reading this blog, proves that you are still here for a reason. Now, you may not believe in the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Yeshua, but irrespective of that point, He is subject over all things and all things are subject under Him.

My point, as a G-d fearer, I feel all the things the Word of G-d tells me not to feel at times. Yet, my true heart’s desire is to please G-d and be an imitator of Yeshua (Jesus). My flesh is weak, and though He is greater in me than he who is in the world, more times than not, my weakness rules! And, yet I always desire to please Adonai (L-rd). My desire is to please Him and to do His will.

When Thomas Merton wrote this prayer, supposedly he was in a dark place. I have experienced many dark places, and sometimes darkness still nudges at my soul as I navigate this life. Many of us understand the depths of darkness, and yet, we grapple for light-bridgethe light knowing it is our only hope of salvation in this life, and the life to come. G-d who sees all and does whatever He pleases (Ps. 115:3), I believe, understands us far beyond our ability to understand ourselves – thus our need for a Savior. Merton’s prayer exudes a sense of pure humility and dependence on the Creator for guidance in all matters of life, as well as a plea for understanding his motives.

We sometimes exemplify our false sense of being in control to no avail; and, thus, we are amazed when things go awry in our lives. For those of us calling ourselves believers, whether it is by the name Christian, Messianic, Followers of the Way, G-d Fearers, Believers or some other name, our first response is to love Him and desire to please Him.

So today, as I ramble on and deeply consider the nuances of this prayer, I ask you to do the same. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place this morning, because I don’t know for certain where I’m going, but I do know WHO to put my trust in.

#JustMusing

Dr. Dee

Note two things:

  • The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment. The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.
  • Photos taken from Fresh Paint and program purchased.

 

 

 

 

Challenging Relationships

Loving G-d, Loving Self, Relationships, , , , , , , , ,

couple on red couchRelationships can be challenging especially when goals and desires are different, and the marriage lacks love and friendship.  I guess the ultimate goal of being together in a marriage and being happy is determined by the love factor and our determination to get through difficulties which will arise.

Steve Harvey wrote a book, which states, if a man tells you “we are friends” then believe it. This statement for many women may give them the impression that more will come, and possibly more will come down the line, but maybe not. I have spoken to many people who claim their relationship started off as friends, and then they married each other. Their marriage is like being married to their best friend, and they are very happy. Others, have waited for many years for marriage to their special friend to no avail.

As I am writing this blog, I can think of at least two women who dated a man for over 20 years and they never married. Both women desired marriage, but marriage never came. In fact, one woman was with her special friend for over 21 years. They went their separate ways, he found salvation, another woman, and married his new friend within six months.

So my question, how long should a woman wait for a man to ask her to marry him? Now, I can hear many women say, why should she wait? Or, she can ask him? Hum, but, I’m of the mindset, that men should ask women. I admit, I’m old-fashioned and my thinking is based on the Bible – he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with G-d; but, I also believe, most women would prefer being asked by the love of their life, and not the other way black couplearound. Disagree? Tell me all about it. I would love to hear your opinions.

Anyway, back to my point. Relationships can be challenging, but also invigorating and wonderful. I believe it depends on the willingness of each person to give 100% of their efforts to enjoy the relationship and contribute doing their very best to be the kind of person which makes a loving and positive difference in the relationship. I believe couples have to be very best friends, in addition to being in-love, committed, loyal and G-d fearing to name just a few.

Relationships based on love, true love will stand the test of time.  Issues must  become non-issues when it comes to choosing to do what is required to work things out.  When things are fantastic, great, exciting, and new in a relationship – we know and understand how easy and glorious the flow between a couple can be.  However, when things are strained, stressful, challenging, etc., in those times, love must prevail, if the relationship is going to survive.

In case you forgot, no one is perfect, not me or you.  Therefore, what we bring to the table in a marriage is love and raloneespect, and a willingness to grow; that is, if you love someone and desire to be with them. If not, then single-hood has its advantages as many of us are well aware.  But, at the end of the day, having someone dear and special to navigate through this planet, called life, is worth the effort to be a great mate committed to love, transparency, and understanding towards their spouse.

As I have matured, I have met a lot of people with a lot of money! I mean multi-millionaires! By the way, I’m expecting my millions today in the mail! Seriously!! 

As I was saying, I have met and become acquainted with many rich people, and though their money can buy almost anything, it can’t buy happiness or a stress free marriage.  I know people who are just getting by (financially), but are extremely happy with their life-mate.

Again, my point, relationships can be challenging, but so is everything else at least some things at some point. Our choice…choose to love your spouse, because at the end of the day, we have to decide who and what is most important. As always, you decide…woman man quote

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

My-History

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Recently, I found my journal from 2009 as I was watching my grandson.  As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-d[1] has brought me!  Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years earlier, with the official separation on July 25, 2009. past future road sign

However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way!  The purpose of this writing is to praise G-d for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love and hopefully to encourage you, my reader!  As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life.  Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember!  Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.

My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-d had waiting for me!  All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom!  When I became single, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all the time.  Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior.  There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me.  Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living within my shattered world once again. FreshPaint-brokeness

Then, as time passed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry.  So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, I look great, and I am ready for G-d’s choice (husband) to step into my life.  I am also ready for ministry, as G-d has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors!  Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.

In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-d is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes.  The MOMENT we hold now is not our final destiny in Mashiach (Christ)!  This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty. There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and His promises for those who trust in Him.

Please know and believe that G-d will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog.  He will see you through and He does hear our prayers.  He is the Resurrection and the Life. I am so happy that I serve the Living G-d whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!

FreshPaint-resurrection life

Be encouraged today, and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will be better or bitter on the other side of your drama.

The choice is always your call.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

**********************

[1]The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One True One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to reiterate Who He Is. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.

Called to Action

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What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias. (http://www.onbeing.org/program/albert-einstein-the-negro-question-1946)

Albert Einstein, as many of you already know was a brilliant Scientist who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1921 for his general theory of relativity.  However, he was also very passionate about nuclear disarmament, and he actively spoke out against racism in this country. In 1946, he spoke on the ill effects of hatred and contributed financially and in other positive ways to make a difference in the lives of various African-Americans such as W. E. Dubois, Marian Anderson, and Paul Robeson. Yet, these additional remarkable humanitarian efforts, in my experiences, have not been taught in our history books.  Admittedly, I did not know this about Albert Einstein until recently.  This information was posted on social media during turbulent times in America at the writing of this post.

I checked several sources to confirm the aforementioned. Most references do not even mention his involvement in the civil rights activities of his day, and mainly discussed his legacy as a Scientist, his personal life and his flight from Germany. Yet, he was a man who believed in the fair treatment of all people and within his arena, he chose to speak on the ills of racism as he spoke about the theory of relativity. Albert Einstein had the courage to speak on the evils of racism in our country, and unfortunately, racism is still prevalent today.  Racism is a form of hatred, but all hatred, regardless of its forms wreaks havoc at every juncture, on every person. My point…

As I am writing this blog, in recent weeks, here in the United States of America, we have witnessed two African-American men killed by police officers, one of which was shot in front of his girlfriend and their four-year-old daughter; 5 white police officers gunned down in alleged retaliation, as well as 7 other police officers wounded; several unarmed Latino men killed by police officers; two bailiffs killed by an inmate during the transportation of that inmate; 49 people slaughtered in Orlando, and this is just a few murderous incidences monopolizing the current local news stations. The violence endured by these victims, their families, and their friends is incomprehensible. Few of us can truly relate to the horror of a loved one being killed within the confines of horrific hatred! At least I can’t imagine, but my/our hearts still ache for those who are subjected to acts of violence and loathing. So the question becomes, what can we do?

For me as a believer in the Highest G-d, I am thoroughly convinced that our first line of defense is humbling before our Creator in sincere and fervent prayer; believing, knowing and expecting Him to respond to our prayers. Our praying must be heartfelt and without ceasing. Second, I believe, we have to realize we are in a war, a spiritual war, and that the horrors of hatred are heart matters. G-d is on the only One equipped to move and change hearts, but He uses those of us willing to be His Messengers of Love. Once we realize that the battle is the L-rd’s, and we diligently plead for Him to move in our communities, our country, then we have to get up off our knees, and actively become involved in making a difference in the lives of others.

How can we make a difference? There are many obvious ways to make a difference, such as mentoring others, volunteering with various organizations, which seek to help end FreshPaint-quotethe violence, become more politically astute, and seek to work within the governmental system to get laws changed, etc., and vote for the candidates you believe will best help this country. Also, put your money in organizations that are positively serving the community. Stop spending your money with companies that exploit their workers and buy their goods from others who exploit their employees. In addition, begin to make a difference and show love to others, just by smiling, speaking to people, showing respect, being courteous, and like-wise teaching your children/grandchildren to do the same. Finally, speak up on behalf of those who are victims of societal ills, and take a positive stand for justice and righteousness.

If you are a believer in Judeo-Christian principles and live by the Word of G-d, then you know there is no color, gender, religious persuasion or other diversionary groupings in Yeshua (Jesus). We have been called to be One in Him, the only HOPE for our salvation in this life and the life to come. In our calling to be, means our calling to do. We are called to be people of actions. We are called to be G-d’s salt and light in the earth.

We must speak, live and take a stand for each other. Albert Einstein and countless others used their platforms to emphatically speak on manners contrary to the liberty of others. If something is wrong, we need to speak out and say it is wrong. We just can’t go along to get along. As people of the Most High G-d, we have to be willing to demonstrate what His love looks like in practical ways in our homes, work places, and everywhere we find ourselves in our daily lives.

Let me urge you to figure out how you can best show love towards your neighbor in order to bring about change; in order to chip away at the violence drowning us; in order to end bigotry, racism, or any other kind of ism. Again, Albert Einstein says it best: What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias.

It’s your call to action…

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Note:  The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of love, respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustain-er of the Universe. He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to understand my position. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.

Shame On Us

Loving G-d, , ,

FreshPaint-grave headstonesAnother brother bites the dust! I am so sick of seeing the many black men who have been shot and killed.  The radial violence perpetuated on black men in our society is seriously a major issue. I am personally outraged by this continual pattern in our society.

Terror, violence, mayhem seem par for the course, regardless of ethnicity, gender or religious persuasion. If it isn’t someone being shot, killed, raped, thrown over some bridge, then we are privy to the massacre we just witnessed in Orlando, Istanbul, or other acts of mass destruction around this globe.

It seems to me that the world is exploding in hatred at exponential levels! We are continually force-fed violence through the dramatic sensationalized videos and images from the news and social media. The continued violence that society is consistently bombarded with on a daily basis is ridiculous! And, truly, I would imagine, unfortunately, that many folks are being desensitized by the consistency of our societal horrors, and/or simply don’t care.

Shame on us! When one person is destroyed, we all suffer! When one community is violated and their misery is paraded on the world stage, we all suffer disgrace! One child is thrown off a cliff by some delusional person, we all worry about our children and our hearts cry out. Bombs, assault rifles, knives, whatever the weapon of destruction suits its predator, its victim(s) suffers as a result. And, of course I could go on and on, but I think my point is clear.

FreshPaint-guns

Yet, as I vomit my disgust for the violence, which surrounds us, I am reminded of the One who ultimately is our deliverer and the healer of our land.

My heart aches! My deepest sympathy and condolences to the families who have had to endure such horror! G-d, please help us! Join me in prayer. Our hope is not in political madness or laws…our hope is in the ONE who can heal our land through repentance. All else is futile.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

Tips For Marriage Counseling Success

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FreshPaint white couple

 

 

Has your marriage hit a brick wall? Are your attempts at solving conflict seem futile? If so, then counseling may be one of your answers. However, going to marriage counseling is not just about showing up and sitting down. Counseling success is hinged on active engagement, honesty and transparency. Therefore, in order for marriage counseling to have the best chances for your success, here are some tips.

  1. List the reasons why you need to speak to a third person. Are you having communication issues, intimacy issues, financial issues, etc. Clarify and write down your reason(s) prior to your first counseling session. Be sure to interview several marriage counselors or coaches and select someone you both feel comfortable with and someone who is committed to your success. If you are a Messianic/Christian couple, select someone who has the same biblical mindset.
  2. Set goals for the marriage. For Example: we both want to save our marriage, we want to better communicate with each other, we want to respect each other’s differences, etc. Again, be clear on the reason(s) as to why you are seeking counseling. Ensure that both partners are still interested in saving the marriage, and there isn’t a desire for a separation or divorce.
  3. Commit to the process for at least 6 months to a year in order to give yourselves the full opportunity of working out issues. Sometimes issues are related to childhood baggage and/or unresolved hurts from previous relationships. Committing to the process will ensure you get to the root of the problem so healing can transpired.FreshPaint-certificate of marriage
  4. Do not threaten separation or divorce during the time of counseling to which both of you have committed. Any threats of divorce will certainly undermine the success of the counseling.
  5. Be ready to take responsibility for your part in the marriage difficulties. Be accountable and willing to ask forgiveness and work on improving self. It is essential that you are willing to change personally for the better. Think about the accusations your spouse makes consistently concerning your behavior during an argument or whenever. If those comments are the same, then consider your words and behavior, which may need to change, or attempt to understand why your response is irritated by your behavior.
  6. Do not complain or speak negatively about your spouse to others, especially during the counseling period. Give yourself the best opportunity to reconcile differences within the marriage. Sometimes, people, especially friends will interject negativity into the situation, which could include advice to leave to give up on the marriage. This will weaken the reconciliation process, if not destroy any chances of resolution. If you must speak to someone, make sure it is someone who will fully support your efforts, and desires the best for you and your spouse.
  7. Prior to meeting with your coach or counselor, do not tell your spouse what to say during your counseling sessions. Remember, the only way to healing is through complete honesty and transparency. There is no need to feel embarrassed during a session with your coach or counselor. They are there to help.
  8. Make counseling sessions and the homework a priority. Counseling is only as good as the work each person is willing to put in to grow individually and as a couple.
  9. Realize there is no over-night cure. Again, stick with your obligation to go through counseling and be willing to honestly look at your great, good and awful behaviors, commit to change, and commit to the process.black and white couple

Challenges within a marriage are par for the course. However, couples who truly love each other and are committed to each other can overcome grievances and challenges, and enjoy their lives together. Choosing someone to journey with you as a couple can be one of the answers to your difficulties. Yet, as a couple, you have to be willing to put forth the effort to heal the wounded areas in your relationship. The choice is always yours.

Just Musing,

Dr. Dee

Anger’s Fury

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An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Proverbs 29:22anger and coffee

Have you ever been angry? I know, it is a silly question, because every human being has experienced anger at some point in their life. Anger is a feeling of great or excessive displeasure, hostility, indignation, exasperation or wrath according to Webster’s Dictionary, but you that. Yet, let me remind you that some folks thrive in their anger and enjoy its comfort. Anger allows some people to express themselves by shouting, yelling, cussing, pouting, hitting, and/or stomping. Still others use anger to express “true” matters of the heart, and use it as a time to put others down through falsely induced courage. Anger allows many to control, dominate, govern and manipulate. Anger’ fury instills fear, unrest, discomfort, nervousness, strife, division.  Anger can promote self-idolatry and lowers esteem in others. Anger can be inwardly manifested from very mild as in moodiness, or inwardly violent such as self-hatred, condemnation and more. Anger can be very extreme as in torture, bullying and murder.  Anger affects every cell in the body.

Anger or rage is the womb for past hurts, bitterness, malice, disease, lust, envy, death and destruction. Anger that isn’t of G-D will fester and ooze into every area of life killing victims through unkind words, and/or deeds that destroy and undermine relationships. Anger’s fury justifies self-righteousness, self-delusion, hardness of the heart, hypocrisy alienation and religious fanatical behaviors. Unmanaged and/or ungodly anger kills, steals, destroys and imprisons the soul of the its unsuspecting or suspecting prey and the angry individual. Anger, i.e., uncontrolled, ung-odly behavior is a crippling poisoning emotion. Anger, finally, wreaks havoc in homes, marriages, relationships and most importantly, ung-dly anger thwarts the purposes of G-D in the life of the believer.

The deadly impact of ung-dly anger is too exhaustive for this piece, and the psyche of the angry individual is beyond my expertise. However, the power and destruction of angry individuals is obviously evident in our personal and public lives. The media is littered with violent acts perpetrated on victims daily and literally from all over the world. Social media, emails, text messages, etc., vomits its share of violent acts disseminated on othanger collageers as well.

Each and every person has experienced feelings of anger mild or otherwise, even Adonai in both the Original and Renewed Covenant (Bible) displayed anger. In the Renewed Covenant, Yeshua (Jesus) got angry with the Pharisees due to their lack of compassion for the man with the crippled hand. Those religious leaders were more concern with the legality of the Shabbat (Sabbath) over the true meaning of the Shabbat, which in this case was the healing of the man, which ultimately gave him (the man with the crippled hand) his Shabbat. Yeshua was also furious with the money changers, who were dishonoring the temple of His Father. Yet, in all of His fury, He was without wickedness. Yeshua never attacked the person, but the debauchery that affected them and the community. His anger was evident, but not at the expense of destroying or attempting to destroy the soul of the person. If you believe in the works He did, then this point should be obvious. Otherwise, why would he come to give His life for our life’s liberty, joy and fulfillment through Him?

We should operate in love, even when we are angry with one another, especially towards our spouses and loved ones. And, yes we all get angry! I get angry! You get angry. Look around, the results of angry individuals hurts our communities.  Sometimes, even living on planet earth can be angry experience. Do I need to list all the evil things which attempt and/or find their way into our lives? Yet, in all our anger, we have to attempt to response in ways, which attack the issue(s) and not the individual(s). We have to find ways to be kind and compassionate to one another and put away any destructive anger. Ung-dly anger is extremely damaging and promotes all kinds of “deaths”.  As Thomas Kepis stated, All men desire peace, but few desire the things that make for peace.

Today, consider your immediate arena, and think about those things which infuriate you. Seek to put away your anger or if expressed try to deal with just the issue(s) and not attack the character of your spouse, friend, child, etc. If you are a believer in Messiah, then seek His counsel through prayer, His Word and others . If you are not a believer, then seek help from someone you trust or through books or counseling if anger consumes you more times than not.

I am a believer and I lived with a very angry person for many years. Unfortunately, the anger and emotional violence destroyed the relationship, and wreaked havoc on our family. In our case, anger’s fury destroyed our relationship. We failed and fell prey to the destructive nature of ung-dly uncontrolled rage. Yet, you do not have to be a victim of your anger or the anger of a loved one. Seek G-D, get help and learn to live a life of love. The effort is worth the Shalom (peace).

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

86 Loving Ways to Care

Relationships, , , , , , ,

love goggleHappy and loving marriages require loving and positive actions. Most woman, I would imagine want to enjoy their husbands! Who want to toil in an arduous relationship? The answer is obvious! In relationships, especially marriages, there are many ways to encourage your husband, which will build him up and contribute to a happier life together. It is my contention that a loving wife can easily encourage her husband. A wife’s approval is powerfully vital, and applying the following steps consistently will make a positive difference in your marriage. Listed below are just 86 ways to inspire and encourage your spouse.

  1. Communicate with him respectfully
  2. Respond to him gently
  3. Let him know how important he is to you
  4. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree
  5. Let go of the small stuff
  6. Ask for his help
  7. Let him help and protect you
  8. Tell him you love him
  9. Tell him you like him
  10. Tell him you respect him
  11. Tell him he is the greatest person in your life
  12. Give him space for hobbies or quiet time
  13. Let him know how much you appreciate him
  14. Show him that your respect him and trust him
  15. When you go out on dates, do not bring up negative issues or problems
  16. Focus your attention on the great things he does right
  17. Show interest in what he feels is important in life
  18. Show him that you enjoy spending time alone
  19. Be happy and positive when he comes home
  20. Do not allow any family member or friend to treat him disrespectfully
  21. Defend him to any family member who attempts to dishonor him
  22. Compliment his efforts above his performance
  23. Seek his advice when you seek challenges
  24. Set and work on goals together
  25. Respect his leadership in the home
  26. Be forgiving when he offends you
  27. Find ways to show him you need him. Men need to be needed.
  28. Do not bombard him with “honey-dos”
  29. Quickly admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness
  30. Rub his feet, neck, and shoulders when he is stressed
  31. When he wants to talk, actively listen and ask questions
  32. Tell him you are proud of him
  33. Give advice in a loving manner and do not nag
  34. Reserve energy for intimacy
  35. Praise him for being a good man
  36. Text him love notes during the day
  37. Leave him a sweet voice mail
  38. Brag about him to others even if he is not there
  39. Share your feelings in a concise way
  40. Tell him 3 things you appreciate about him and why
  41. Honor him and show respect in front of others
  42. Help him accomplish his family and personal goals
  43. Give him space if he is in a bad mood or doesn’t want to talk
  44. Don’t compare him to others, especially in a negative way
  45. Tell him thank you for the special things his does
  46. Write “I love you” across the bathroom mirror
  47. Leave love notes for him to find
  48. Work to get rid of the negative things he does not like about you
  49. Do not expect him to notice everything you do
  50. Consult him before making important plans
  51. Let him sleep in when possible
  52. Do not criticize his intelligence
  53. Initiate sex sometimes
  54. Get to the point during discussions
  55. Wink at him when you are across the room in public
  56. Smile at him often
  57. Give him the benefit of the doubt in all situations
  58. Try not to quarrel over words
  59. Do not call him out of his name during arguments
  60. Attack the issue(s) not him
  61. Be kind and polite to him
  62. Stick to financial goals and do not sneak purchases behind his back
  63. Do not blame him for everything that goes wrong
  64. When he blows it, don’t throw it back up in his face
  65. Be understanding
  66. Never argue over money – figure it out in a respectful way
  67. Hold his hand when out in public
  68. Snuggle close when possible
  69. Don’t expect him to read your mind – tell him what you need, think and/or want
  70. Check with him before you throw anything of his away
  71. Work to stay in shape
  72. When you are angry, do not give him the silent treatment
  73. Look your best, especially when out in public
  74. Be his best cheer leader
  75. Acknowledge his successes in everyday situations
  76. Focus on his positives
  77. Patiently show how you need him to love you
  78. Encourage healthy eating
  79. Thank him for being who he is
  80. Enjoy all the time you have with him
  81. Remember to keep humor alive in the relationship
  82. Do things he likes sometimes without grumbling
  83. Plan a romantic dinner or trip for the two of you to a place he loves
  84. Cook his favorite meal and serve him while he sits
  85. Treat him like a king – royal, special and beloved
  86. If you believe in prayer, pray for him consistently

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee