Tag Archives: musings

You are my witnesses…

Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Others, , , , , ,

“You are my witnesses”, says Adonai …

What does that mean to be a witness of Adonai (the L-RD)? When or how are we to be His witnesses?

Most of us might answer; to demonstrate the love of the Messiah through kindness, generosity, sharing the great news of the coming Kingdom and more. We might also suggest that being a witness for Adonai should occur wherever we find ourselves in front of others, including spouses, family, friends and enemies. And, I completely agree.

However, I believe there is an intimate time when we should show up as a witness for Adonai. Consider the rest of the Scripture: 

lush green rice terraces in bali with mount agung
Photo by Wictor Sparrow on Pexels.com

You are my witnesses, says the L-RD, my servant, whom I chose, so that you would know and believe me and understand that I am the one. Before me no god was formed; after me there has been no other. Isaiah 43:10 CEB

What do you mean, you might ask? For a moment focus on the words know, believe me and understand … I am the One. Now as most of us know, the book of Isaiah was written to the nation of Israel and speaks of prophetic judgement and redemption throughout the book. Yet, as believers in Yeshua, we are given the same mandate, i.e., to know G-D, believe Him and understand that He is He. How can we do this?

The word witnessing has several meanings. However, for the purposes of this blog, the dictionary meaning which is apropos; be the place, period or setting in which (an event or development) takes place.I believe that this kind of witnessing (development) begins during private prayer, worship and study of the Scriptures. Yes, again, we are called to public witnessing, no doubt about it! But for public witnessing to be authentic, genuine and Messiah centered, we must spend the time in prayer so that we can get to know and develop our knowledge of G-D and thus our relationship with Him. Still, knowledge without trust (believe Me – G-D) and understanding that He is Echad (One); our efforts to share the coming Kingdom of G-D is likened unto a noisy brass cymbal or trying to drink coffee from an empty cup. 

How can we share about our Heavenly Father if we aren’t actively pursuing Him consistently and daily? How can we know and believe Him, and understand that He is G-D and there is no other, if we are not dependent on His Spirit to reveal His love, truth and purposes to us? 

question mark on chalk board
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There are many brass cymbals banging to the tune of their own agenda and empty cups without drink. But, we believers in Messiah have been called to live and proclaim the truth of His plans for humankind. We have been given two mandates in the Word of G-D which encompasses everything we need to know and do. In Matthew 22:36-40, it reads:

Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law? He replied, “You must love the L-RD your G-D with all your heart, with all your being,[a] and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself.[b] All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands. (CJB)

This blog is focused on witnessing or loving G-D first; and in order to love G-D first, we must spend time privately getting to know Him and developing in Him. I believe that this first witness to Him consequently flows into all the public witnessing and the G-Dly living He requires.

My point, consider reevaluating your prayer times and your efforts to read, study and meditate on G-D’s Word. Ask Him to reveal where and how you might improve in these areas so that your public witness might please Him and draw others to Him. Be sure to repent and keep pushing forward to please Him in prayer and study. Make prayer (worship, thanksgiving, repentance, petition, listening and doing) a priority as part of your daily existence. I also believe that our prayer life is a witness to the Father of our gratitude for the redemptive work of our Savior. 

person holding black text
Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

Before I close, I want to share a quick testimony. The other day, my husband decided to drive us to Blagaj, Bosnia & Herzegovina for sightseeing and lunch. Blagaj is about two hours from our home. This is a beautiful area of the country with gorgeous mountainous terrain. As we were approaching the toll booths, I heard that I needed to pray. So I silently prayed for our safety as we were traveling. Moments later as my husband was switching lanes to the left of him, a car came speeding up and honked as we were merging into the lane, nearly hitting our vehicle. We were both startled, but grateful that we did not have a car accident. Then later that evening as we were beginning to make a left-hand turn close to our home while the ongoing traffic was clear… all of a sudden a car came speeding and was within inches of hitting us, (second time in the same day). All I could see at that moment was the luminous piercing lights of a speeding car about to hit the middle of our car on the passenger side. My husband swerved out of the way and I am here writing to you. My husband was shaken and admitted that he was scared. He said, he knew he was clear to make the turn. The car came out of nowhere! We were both shaken but grateful we were not in an accident. I was in awe that I had been warned to pray prior to these two events in one day, and I was reminded that I hadn’t prayed before we left home. [Shame on me] But, praise the L-RD, we serve a loving Father who wants us to be safe and have times of enjoyment on the earth. He will remind us to pray at times when we forget because He cares for us.

Be encouraged…never give up on doing the intimate work with the Father through prayer, study and meditation. Our private witness sets the momentum for overflow into our public display. Be encouraged to work on your relationship with the Father daily through Yeshua, empowered by the Holy Spirit because you/we are His witnesses.

Growing,

Dr. Dee

A Grateful Heart…

Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Others, , , , , ,
thanksgiving turkey with mashed potatoes and green beans
Photo by Rufina Rusakova on Pexels.com

How was your Thanksgiving to my American friends? Here in Central Europe, Thanksgiving as a holiday is not a thing. Thanksgiving is just another day. No turkey, no mac and cheese, no collard greens, candied yams, sweet potato pie…man, I am getting hungry! Wow, I miss those Thanksgiving feasts with my family and friends.

However, as believers in Messiah, thanksgiving is more than food and fellowship. Thanksgiving is a heart-felt deep gratitude for our Savior who died that we might have life abundantly in Him. Abundance in grace, mercy, forgiveness of our sins, protection, eternity and anything else ABBA chooses to grace or bestow on His children.

So, what are you thankful for today? I’m sure the list is extensive, but have you thanked the Father for what you have? Are you content with what you have or are you grappling for more?

In these fleeting moments of life, let me encourage you to be grateful and thankful for everything in your life…the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Take nothing for granted, but in all things praise the L-RD for He is the author and finisher of our faith. He loves us, grows us and sustains us as we continue to trust and love Him.

selective focus photography of yellow school bus die cast
Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

Know that we are holy people traveling this life to eternity. On our journey, it is imperative that we live like we have accepted Yeshua as our Savior, learn to love our Creator, obey His teachings, study His Word, love our neighbors and do good. We must learn to love Him for who He is and not just for what He can give us.  We must be thankful for our wonderful and majestic Creator. And, when we fail, and we will fail, we need to confess, repent and receive His forgiveness. 

He, ABBA is clear that we can do all things through Yeshua our Messiah, but we have to lay down the idols in our lives and humble ourselves before Him. Today, my friends…be encouraged, as I am encouraged as well. Let’s forge ahead in our pursuits to love and honor G-D with all of our hearts, thoughts and actions. Let’s remember to pray for each other and keep the eyes of our hearts on the One True and Living G-D. 

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the L-RD your G-D with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. ”Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

I am thankful for all things in my life whether I “feel” grateful or not…can you say the same? If not, ask Him to help you develop a grateful heart. I Thessalonians 5:18; Philippians 4:6.

Loving Him,

Dr. Dee

One Year Ago…

Loving Others, , , , , , ,

One year blew away and where did the time go! I spent time at the cemetery on my son’s first anniversary, (October 19) of his death. And though my heart is settling, it still seems surreal. Every day I think and mourn the death of my son, especially because he isn’t here for his son. But, I hold onto the promises of G-D believing I will see him again and that helps as I grieve his passing.

While in the US, I also had a chance to see family. Family that was estranged for a lengthy period of time, but Aaron’s death has brought us closer together, and for that I am forever grateful. So much has changed since his death, not just his physical absence, but even the way I view life and ultimately my own passing.

red petal flower
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I have a vigor and hope in the L-RD like never before. I am grateful to ABBA for the work He is doing in my life and those around me who are like-minded about the coming Kingdom of the L-RD. I have several g-dly people in my life that have comforted and encouraged, as well as admonished me this past year; and for all of them I am extremely thankful. 

As a mother, the death of a child is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The pain, regret, deep sorrow, loneliness, and agony are emotionally devastating and overwhelming to say the least.  Yet, in my heart brokenness, ABBA has comforted me and continues to bring comfort and peace when my heart weeps. I am learning to live with the pain and not let the loss of my son hinder my growth in the L-RD. My grief has strengthened my faith in Yeshua though that may sound strange to some. 

Death on this side of Heaven is the result of sin and we all must meet the death-stranger someday. However, death is not the end, if we are in Messiah, Yeshua! Death is just slipping into eternity to be with Him. We can be grateful for the saving mercy of our Savior.

a marker and thought bubbles
If I could talk to Aaron…
Photo from Pexels.com

So, if I could speak with Aaron right now or see him for a moment, I would say… I love and miss you son so very much, and I can’t wait to see and spend time with you again. I thank G-D for the years He allowed you to be here with us. I carry you in my heart daily. I miss our talks, texts, fun outings, your barbecue :0) and even our squabbles. I am grateful that I got to be your mom. And, by the way Aaron, your son is doing okay. You would be proud of him.

The pain of losing Aaron is deeper that I can express, but the hope of Glory in Yeshua keeps me anchored as a child of ADONAI.

To all the moms and dads that have lost a child or children, I beg you to seek our Heavenly Father. To boldly take your pain to Him in prayer. He has promised to be near the broken-hearted. (Ps 34:18) Seek Him for comfort and peace. Refuse to get stuck in hopelessness, despair and anger, but be grateful for the time G-D allowed your child to be on this side of heaven. Trust Him, the Savior (sometimes hard), as you endure the suffering of loss. Honor Him and your beloved child (children) by staying under His covering and loving care.

Praise ABBA in all things!

Dr. Dee

It’s a Great Day…

Coming Kingdom, Loving G-d, , , , , , ,

Today is a great day as I am reminded about the goodness of the L-RD!

Taste and see that the L-RD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

blue sea near mountains
Adriatic Sea…Photo by Luca Sammarco on Pexels.com

King David said in Psalm 8: 4-5 (CJB) When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and stars that you set in place – what are mere mortals, that you concern yourself with them; humans, that you watch over them with such care? 

So what should our response be to these two passages? 

I think we might want to exclaim: Glory to the Most High G-D who was and is to come! Glory to the King of the Universe who created oceans, seas, mountains and more. Thank you for the coming of Your glorious Kingdom and the redemptive work of our L-RD and Savior Yeshua. Thank you that You are always Good and Your Mercy is everlasting. Thank you that You are not like humans and You can always be relied on always. Thank you for Your protection, provision, sustenance and nurturing. Thank you for the time, talents and skills You have given each of us. Thank you for our friends, families and enemies. Thank you for nudging us, encouraging us, disciplining us so that our lives might reflect You. And, because you are holy, holy, holy and the most holiest…thank you for teaching us to respond, speak and live in ways which are pleasing to You. Thank you for being a forgiving and loving Father and giving us multiple chances to repent and grow closer to You. Thank you for your listening ears to our prayers. Thank you for Your salvation through Yeshua, AND SO VERY MUCH MORE! 

spiaggia san michele in sirolo italy
Adriatic Sea…Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

Sitting here by the Adriatic Sea in Tučepi, Croatia, I am overwhelmed by its beauty. The movement of the sea, the rocky mountainous terrain, blooming flowers, towering trees and rock formations which all exemplifies the fingers of our Creator. The vastness of the sea barely littered by human hands is a sight to behold. The mountains towering over the city and surrounding the sea reflects the beauty of G-D for us to admire and appreciate. This creative beauty gives us reason to pause and worship our Father.

I am amazed like the psalmist David that G-D would concern himself with us humans and that He watches over us with care. That He would create such beautiful places for us to live and care for. His love is beyond our comprehension, and yet available for us to embrace and cling to. According to a commentary in the Complete Jewish Bible, Israel’s sages teach that each person should proclaim that it is for my sake that Adonai created the world, and I was created to proclaim his greatness!

Therefore, regardless of whatever state we find ourselves, we can always find beauty around us and find something worth proclaiming the greatness of G-D. We can always look up to the Heavens, scour the earth and see the greatness of our Father. We can always proclaim His glory in the little and large matters of life. Today, while it is today relish in His Greatness and His Goodness!

So, today is a great day, and I am relishing in the goodness and blessings of our G-D! 

How about you?

Dr. Dee

scenic view of rocky turkish coastline
Adriatic Sea …Photo by zeynurmel on Pexels.com

Struggling Daily…

Coming Kingdom, Death, Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Others, , , , , , ,

Since the death of my son, I haven’t felt like myself. I don’t recognize myself most days and some days I just feel like I am floating through waiting for my turn. Parts of me died with him, but parts of me resurrected with a new vigor for the L-RD. I embrace this new vigor for the L-RD.

Since the death of my son, I think about him and all our family members who have preceded me, and I wonder how they are doing and what they are doing. I miss them so much and of course wish we could have a chat. I know, I can’t talk to them or see them other than within my mind’s eye, but like a child I wish I could. 

Since my son’s death, many things have changed…some for the good, and conversely not so good. I am still wrestling with the timing of his death and his absence from our lives. My grandson just started high school, and I know my son Aaron wanted to be part of his high school years. From my limited perspective, I have difficulty understanding why G-D took Aaron at this time. I could say more, but…

brown sand
Photo by Miriam Fischer on Pexels.com

My point, no matter how much we say we love and trust G-D, I believe, in our human bodies we struggle with G-D’s timing and His will sometimes. And like Paul who wrote most of the letters in the B’rit Hadashah (New Testament)…paraphrased…that which I should do, I don’t do and that which I do, I should not do. Romans 7:13-25.

So, to sum up my dilemma as I am growing through my grieving…who can save me? Who can heal my broken heart? Who can forgive my plethora of sins and grievous acts? Who can restore my shalom and so I can hear the sound of joy and gladness? Who can create a clean heart within me and a resolute spirit? Who can rescue me? Thanks be to G-D, our ABBA (HE WILL/HE CAN) – through Yeshua our Messiah, our L-RD, whom I love, believe in and pledge my allegiance to.

Know my struggle is real like many who have lost a child (children). The pain has not subsided, but maybe that’s the point…to grow my dependence, hope and faith in the L-RD. 

Like the tide of the ocean that comes on the shore and quickly recedes; such is life.

Strained, Stretched, Struggling

Dr. Dee

A few Scriptures worth pondering: Jonah 2:9, Acts 4:12, Ezekiel 36:26, Titus 3:5

In the midst of sadness…

Loving G-d, Loving Others, Loving Others, , , , , , , ,

On my son’s recent birthday it was a difficult day to breathe and keep a happy face for others. Most of the time, I feel as if no one understands my deep sorrow or even cares to hear about my deepest pain.  But even during my grief and sorrow, I am grateful to G-D, HaShem who has chosen to deliver me/us through Yeshua, if we pledge our allegiance and love to Him. I am grateful for the time I had with my son, and I am grateful to have been his mom. I am also grateful for his son who is growing into a godly young man and we communicate often.

blue present
A Special Gift
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

Yet, in the midst of my sadness, I looked forward to spending time with my grandchildren this summer. They are here with us! They are so full of life, love and energy. They are a reminder of why even during our grief, we can experience happiness and fun. This morning we had a wonderful Bible study and I was grateful for the opportunity to intentionally invest in them. My prayer…they will remember the words of the L-RD and act accordingly all their days and know that I loved and cherished them very much. 

Therefore, let me encourage you…love others like they are a gift from above for today maybe the last day you will see or speak to them. Be kind to those who pass your way, and every day pray and ask G-D through His son Yeshua, empowered by His Holy Spirit to lead you into His perfect will even when it is hard. Ask G-D to help you to always be the best version of Him as you navigate this life, so that others will be drawn to Him.

Remember: 1 Peter 1:24 – For all humanity is like grass, all its glory is like a wildflower —
the grass withers, and the flower falls off; 25  but the Word of Adonai lasts forever.

Love today…tomorrow may not come.

Growing in Him,

Dr. Dee

A midst in time…

Loving G-d, Loving Others, , , , , , ,

You don’t even know if you will be alive tomorrow! For all you are is a mist that appears for a little while and then disappears. James 4:14 CJB

Oh, how true! The sudden and unexpected death of my son has struck my heart in many ways and sorrowfully emphasized the truth of G-D’s Word.

The sunny morning of October 19, 2024 was a typical Saturday morning until about 8:45 AM. Just a quick overview: My son and his fiance went for a hike up Stone Mountain in the park where he collapsed and died (unconfirmed) of a heart attack. According to his fiance’, she caught his head before he hit the ground, no pain, no words, just one tear streaming down his cheek. 

Aaron’s last steps…

In the short video clip of him walking prior to his death, there is no indication that he was going to die in moments after the filming. In the clip, he is saying that they needed to pace themselves because it was going to be a long walk. He looked amazing in the video, so full of life, handsome and smiling. 

The day before his death, we spoke briefly in the kitchen and we had plans to have a family dinner either Sunday or Monday before I was scheduled to fly to Europe. But, everything changed when the phone call came that he had collapsed. I immediately jumped out of bed starting praying and texting all the believers I knew would pray, as well as the leader of the Community I belong to. 

My fiance and I rushed to get where we needed to be to see about Aaron. Once we arrived at the hospital he wasn’t there though he should have been. I “knew” in my heart something wasn’t right. Why was it taking the ambulance so long to get to the hospital? I believe he had died already. 

Once he got there, they attempted to revive him, and for a split moment we thought he was coming back when the doctor said they had a slight pulse, but the pulse soon disappeared and the doctor called it. As they were working on him I saw some of their work and there was such numbness coming over me that I can’t really explain. His fiance’ was with me the whole time and endured the loss of her future husband.  

But, as a believer I felt inadequate and disappointed that my “faith”, prayers and the prayers of others did not bring Aaron back to this side of heaven. We hear miraculous stories of near death experiences, people coming back from the dead, etc., and though I wish Aaron was still here, I realize that each person’s days are numbered. [Psalms 90:12; 139;16]. But, there is still that wishing, should-of, and more.. that I am still grappling with each day.

My heart is still broken and I still want … but obviously, not my will but the L-RD’s. So much more to say, but this is all I can muster for now.

Loving the L-RD, Yeshua and missing my son,

DD

Our Hope…

Loving Others, , , , , ,

Miryam, the mother of Yeshua, is the fourth most mentioned person in the Bible after Yeshua (Jesus), Peter and Paul. (Mother of Yeshua). Yet, there isn’t much written about her in the Renewed Covenant. We know that she agreed to be the mother of Yeshua; we know she was at the wedding in Cana; we know she was at Yeshua’s crucifixion, burial and ascension; as well as the giving of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) in Acts to name a few.

However, we do not read in Scripture how she may have felt as her son was beaten, tortured and slaughtered for the sake of providing redemption to humankind. Or any ordinary or extraordinary events that may have happened as Yeshua was growing up, except for Yeshua teaching at the temple at the age of 12. However, her pain, grief and horror as the events of Yeshua’s arrest and death unfolded, and the agony she must have endured during this time had to be excruciating. Miryam, Hebrew for Mary, I believe knew G-D’s plan, but wept (an understatement) during the horrendous events of Yeshua’s trial and death.

Yet, conversely, her overwhelming relief and jubilation (an understatement) upon seeing Him after the resurrection must have been exceedingly delightful for her. I can only imagine these two polarizing events: her enormous sorrow and extreme joy…her son’s death and resurrection. There are no words to describe the plausible depth of her feelings.

As a mom and grandmother, I can’t wrap my head and heart around why Yeshua had to die in such a brutal manner.  And, why would He even want to, for such sinful creatures as ourselves! Still, G-D’s ways and thoughts extend far beyond my/our understanding, and I am grateful that He has provided salvation for us. I would think Miryam might have had conflicting thoughts as well. However, because of her obedience she bore the emotional burden of His death.

heart on sand
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I am encouraged by Miryam as I reflect on her pain and joy. I look forward to seeing ABBA, Yeshua, my son and all my family members who have passed on. For now, I am bearing the pain of my son’s passing, but I am looking forward to seeing him again. Miryam’s appearance, though brief in the Scriptures, exemplifies obedience to the will of Our Father and love for her Son and Savior. 

This is the season of Passover, First Fruits, Good Friday, Resurrection of our Savior and counting of the Omer. During this season, as believers, our focus ought to be on our relationship with ABBA and to each other. Yeshua’s death on the cross was the ultimate act of love. He gave His life so that we might have life in Him. Yet, we must remember the cost for our redemption in Him and live accordingly.  Our freedom from eternal death requires our faith, our allegiance, our love, our trust, our obedience and more in Yeshua. (John 14:15-17) Yeshua’s life, death and resurrection are supernatural love events which keeps giving if we choose Him. Yeshua the last “Adam” has become a life-giving Spirit. (I Corn 15:45) Is He your choice?

My point, during this season of reflection and renewal let us remember who and why we worship the Living King who sits on the throne next to Our Heavenly Father. Let us remember the conflicting feelings Miryam probably had when our Savior freely died for us.  Reflect on your loved ones who have died and rejoice in the hope of the resurrection. (I Corn 15)

We do not understand the plans of our Creator, but we are obliged to worship, trust and obey Him. We are obliged to worship and serve the King of kings and the L-RD of lords every day. We are directed to have no other gods as a substitute for HIM. During this season, let us choose ABBA through Yeshua. Let us choose the PROVIDER of our hope in the resurrection.

In Him,

Dr. Dee

Why me?

Death, Loving G-d, , , , , ,

Suffering usually brings about the question – WHY ME? As believers, our response to suffering ought to be why not me? Yeshua said we would suffer and we would have trials and tribulations in this realm. But, what about…

If you have read any of my previous posts, you know that my youngest adult son, Aaron passed away on October 19, 2024. And, as I have mentioned before, my healing is one heart beat at a time. Some days are better than other days. Today is a pretty good day. It is a gorgeous sunny day in Europe, quietness blankets the neighborhood and I’m not crying as I am writing this post.

Earlier today, I was thinking about why me, why did my son have to die and I started to weep, but in the next moment I thought…why not me, for Yeshua said I would suffer in this life, (paraphrased). Yeshua died and His mom wept as did His Father. So does that make suffering less painful or easier? You know the answer, but it should give us some comfort and perspective. I’m not there yet.

dramatic landscape of island geological rift
Photo by Jan Schwebel on Pexels.com

My son’s death has been the hardest emotional earthquake I have ever known. I have had many emotional storms and losses throughout my life. The passing of other family members though devastating hasn’t compared to the losing of my son. Previous failed relationships though hurtful and disappointing, again no comparison. Divorce, loss of material wealth, Covid, surgery, sickness, all seem inconsequential to his passing. Yet, his death is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. I’m figuring I will get past the devastation of his death, but I will always carry him in my heart and I will always love and miss my son.

Aaron would not want me to be as sad as I am. I can hear his voice in my head, Ma relax, I’m good. I’m working on that part as well, i.e., trying to relax – be at peace! Aaron used to tell me that we (believers) do not have a clue as to how much G-D truly loves us, so I have to believe he, Aaron is with the L-RD. And, yes, I believe Yeshua loves us, but some days when I am really sad and feeling isolated, I want to feel the love of the Father and see His face. I desire a big hug from the L-RD! 

I realize there are some of you who have also lost a child or children and your hearts are broken as well. I know the pain. I pray in some small way, my sharing will bring some sense of something. I don’t even have a word for something, but hopefully you get it. 

In Psalm 34:18, it reads, The L-RD is close to the brokenhearted. For those of us who have lost children or a loved one, let us be comforted by this Scripture. And, when we doubt this to be true, let’s seek ABBA for confirmation and peace.

So, during my times of suffering…why not me? I deserve suffering. I’m no better than the next person, but I’m grateful for HIS promise of comfort, love and Shalom. 

It’s a pretty good day!

Dr. Dee

You can’t make this stuff up…

Death, , , , , ,

Today, we went to the cemetery to visit the graveside of my husband’s sister, and while there, the graveside in front of her belonged to a baby named “Aron” from the year 2023 – 2024.

On the way home, I asked my husband what was the date of his sister’s death…October 17, 2017. My son died on October 19, 2025. His sister’s death was seven years prior to Aaron’s and as a couple, we have only been together for 13 months. Seven means completion in the Bible. Interesting…

While at the cemetery, I managed a prayer and sensed again gratitude for G-D giving us 16 extra years with Aaron. The tombstone of the year old baby was a stark reminder of G-D’s blessing us with additional time. I also felt as if “Aaron” had followed me to Europe. In that moment of praying, looking up at the cloudy skies and the tombstone in front of me, I sensed I am where I am supposed to be.

I know to some it may seem like just a coincidence, but in G-D there are no coincidences…for He orders our steps. Of course I don’t know what it all means, but to me it certainly seemed like a G-D moment and my heart was deeply touched.

We often look for G-D in huge miraculous events and we fail to notice Him constantly through all the ways He makes His presence known in our lives daily. His comfort in our times of need can be unique. Since Aaron’s death I seem to notice Him more and more in everyday situations and people. I am also more keenly aware when He isn’t there.

Losing my son has been one of the hardest emotional journeys I have had to endure. It is a journey that is not my choice. I can’t articulate the hurt, regret, longing, and more. One day I’m feeling okay even with my thoughts of him. The next day or even on the same day, I am overwhelmed with sadness and wish I could just text, chat or see him. I have so many things I still want to share with Aaron.

And, so my heart keeps beating and I keep reaching out to ABBA to help me navigate this journey. He has promised to be near the broken hearted. My heart is broken.

The L-RD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

All praise goes to G-D, Father of our L-RD Yeshua, the Anointed One. He is the Father of compassion, the G-D of all comfort. He consoles us as we endure the pain and hardship of life so that we may draw from His comfort and share it with others in their own struggles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
red paper heart ripped in half on dark background broken heart separation concept
Photo by Marta Nogueira on Pexels.com

One heart beat at a time,

Dr. Dee