My L-rd* G-d, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor, do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so. But, I believe that the desire to please you, does, in fact, please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And, I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. (Prayer composed by Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk)

Recently, I was watching an episode of West Wing on Netflix, and I heard one of the characters in the program paraphrase the prayer above. I was captivated by the prayer and decided to find out if the prayer was fiction or if in fact, had someone really composed this prayer. In the Netflix version, the character says, I always don’t know the right thing to do, L-rd, but, I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

 This prayer is very intriguing, because it speaks to our weaknesses and our heart motives as believers in the Most High G-d. I find it very interesting that life is often challenging and difficult at best; and yet, most fulfilling as well. And, still, often times we, at least me, has no idea where I am going. My desires and dreams seem to keep pointing me in a certain direction, but the course and the ultimate goal is an uncertainty.

Many might say this sentiment exudes a lack of faith, determination, a certain grit, if you will. And, though dreams, desires and goals are necessary and a productive force as we travel this life, the end results, prior to the end results are completely unknown with absolute certainty! I propose that if the end were absolutely known, the entire sense of celebration during the process and  at the end, as well as the need for faith would be a waste of time.

G-d, however, did not call us to know exactly how things would turn out in this life with utter cast-iron certainty. He did call us to trust Him with our dreams, desires, needs and/or goals. He has called us to love Him with the desire to please Him, even in our uncertainty of what lies ahead.

I believe in G-d and choose to embrace His subjection over me. He has proven His love, provision, protection over and over again in my life, the life of my family, friends and even those I do not know or dislike. The fact that you are reading this blog, proves that you are still here for a reason. Now, you may not believe in the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Yeshua, but irrespective of that point, He is subject over all things and all things are subject under Him.

My point, as a G-d fearer, I feel all the things the Word of G-d tells me not to feel at times. Yet, my true heart’s desire is to please G-d and be an imitator of Yeshua (Jesus). My flesh is weak, and though He is greater in me than he who is in the world, more times than not, my weakness rules! And, yet I always desire to please Adonai (L-rd). My desire is to please Him and to do His will.

When Thomas Merton wrote this prayer, supposedly he was in a dark place. I have experienced many dark places, and sometimes darkness still nudges at my soul as I navigate this life. Many of us understand the depths of darkness, and yet, we grapple for the light knowing it is our only hope of salvation in this life, and the life to come. G-d who sees all and does whatever He pleases (Ps. 115:3), I believe, understands us far beyond our ability to understand ourselves – thus our need for a Savior. Merton’s prayer exudes a sense of pure humility and dependence on the Creator for guidance in all matters of life, as well as a plea for understanding his motives.

We sometimes exemplify our false sense of being in control to no avail; and, thus, we are amazed when things go awry in our lives. For those of us calling ourselves believers, whether it is by the name Christian, Messianic, Followers of the Way, G-d Fearers, Believers or some other name, our first response is to love Him and desire to please Him.

So today, as I ramble on and deeply consider the nuances of this prayer, I ask you to do the same. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place this morning, because I don’t know for certain where I’m going, but I do know WHO to put my trust in.

#JustMusing

Dr. Dee

Note two things:

• The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment. The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.
• Photos taken from Fresh Paint and program purchased.