Tag Archives: spirituality

Crumbs of Love~Crumbs of Hope

Have you ever loved someone who only throws crumbs of love your way, giving you crumbs of hope? I have, and what a waste of living! Too often as women, we set our sights on a particular man, and our hearts soar with anticipation and expectations. Our hopes and fantasies sometimes blinds our vision and dulls our hearing in the hopes that our love desire will somehow be who and what we think we need, and yearn for in our lives. That’s a mouth full!

We sit by the phone incessantly waiting for a call, text or some other message. We scour our emails to ensure we haven’t missed a note, or we peruse social media. Sometimes, we find excuses to call our love interest, or be available at their beck and call. And, my on my…. when we are finally privileged with their presence, our hearts throb, and we think a piece of heaven has stepped on the scene. And, the scenario repeats over and over. Until…duh, we realize that doing the same thing again and again, i.e., loving someone who chooses not to love us back or has no desire to commit is futile; if not just plain insanity.

The movie “The Holiday” epitomizes a woman who loved someone for several years to finally realize that he did not love her, but wanted to keep her in his life for his purposes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZQV6NjR_bI But, when Iris (the character in the movie) takes a holiday vacation, she realizes that she has essentially been the dog eating the crumbs from her imagined committed partner. As the story evolves, she realizes she is designed to be the leading lady and finally breaks up with her love interest. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1CMnZDllDU

Many women want to be the leading lady in their relationship to no avail. So, instead, many of us settle for crumbs of love, which leads to imagined crumbs of hope. These crumbs often lead to a deeper sense of loneliness and despair. We settle for being the best friend at best, or just a tool in someone’s hand. And, so again, the cycle repeats, until we are redeemed from ourselves.

Redeemed from ourselves? Now that is a thought! This feat of redemption is attempted by some through mediation, yoga, spirituality, humanness, religion, hardness of heart, etc. But, others, like myself, look to the One true and only Redeemer who consistently reminds us that He is our TRUE love and He prepares the “Boaz” of our dreams. (Read about Boaz in the Bible, Ruth 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPevgTJDp7E

Ladies, there is never a short cut when true love is at stake. And, settling for less than G-d’s best, usually spells disaster and emotional violence. I know this from personal experience, and from conversations with many women who have experienced crumbs of love.

Loneliness is a (fill in the blank)! Believe me, when I tell you, I know and I’ve got the first-place award! However, living with g-dly principles, and choosing G-d’s way is so worth the adventure. Has the “right one” found me…not yet. But, he’s headed my way. Can’t wait. But, in the meantime, I’m growing from G-d’s transformative lessons and hoping to encourage others in their relationships.

I’m living life and doing my best to serve G-d, family and friends. If you find yourself settling for second place in the life of a man you are dating, or befriending, and he is not interested in a commitment; stop wasting your time wishing and hoping in a fantasy. Stop settling for crumbs of hope or crumbs of love. Instead, drop and pray! Seek G-d’s comfort, counsel, and ask G-d to send His best.

What are crumbs of love or crumbs of hope? Crumbs…being involved with someone who gives you hints that there might be a future; or he does nice things, and your inference – he’s into me. Maybe he comments that you are so like the type of woman, he would like to spend the rest of his life withyou know the innuendos that men will say in order to either manipulate, or keep you in the loop to serve their purposes. Let’s be real! Men or women will do and say manipulative things to serve their narcissistic appetites, if they are not people who pant after the One and True Living G-d.

Yet, for those of us who desire to live within a covenant marriage; games, lies, manipulations, innuendos, etc. are taboo, and have no place in any loving relationship. Our Savior gave His very best…Himself for His people. This is our example! This is our true love interest!

Start 2017 loving G-d and self, and leave all crumbs for the vacuum.

#Justsaying,

Dr. Dee

Happy 2017!!! My prayer for you!

Happy 2017!!!! May G-d bless you and keep you and my His face shine upon you , your family and your friends!

Much Love,

Dr. Dee

Share this video…

Actions Speak

actions-speak It has often been said that actions speak louder than words. However, is this always the case? I wonder.

Sometimes words speak louder in the form of an email or a letter, yelling, screaming, exhortation, even silence. Sometimes the author’s purpose is lost in the reader’s or listener’s comprehension. Sometimes messages are read with such disdain that the true intent of the author’s purpose is lost. Then again, sometimes words can be used to hide pretentious actions. Hmm– not really sure. Sometimes words seem to speak louder than actions. What do you think?

What I do know, is that if we want others to think we are different or that we have been transformed by the Holy Spirit, then our actions have to look different and gracious, and our words whether written or spoken have to drip with G-dly honey. In other words, if we want others to think we are loving, then we have to act and speak lovingly. If we want others to think we have a pleasant and inviting personality, then we must display this as well. We cannot expect others to see or hear transformation within us, when we act in the very way their criticism suggests.

We all see things fuzzy, even though our pride suggests otherwise, and our arrogance allows us to build walls of self-sustenance. Yet, if we embrace a faith of love and grace, then it is my prayer that G-d shows us our pride and arrogance, and that we have the walk-the-talkcourage to change if need be. Then, maybe, our words, as well as our actions will be steeped in G-dly honey, love, and all the precious goodness as modeled by our Messiah.

As always, it’s our choice.

#DocsMusing,

Dr. Dee

They say love is blind, but I’ve seen Your face over a hundred times, and each time I walk out the door Your story fills my soul.

I heard these words in a song that I just love to listen to over and over again. We’ve all heard it said that love is blind, and I guess we all have been blinded by what we call love. But, true love sees, and continues to love, and even loves when love is not returned. My eyes are wide open to You!

There are two kinds of love, and maybe more depending on who’s talking. Human love some say comes for the Creator, which I won’t argue.  Yet, human love is so infected with narcissism that it is often hard to see any inkling of a kind, loving Creator. We live in a world where self, self-interest, self-love, self-hopes, self-funds, self-career objectives, self-needs, self-goals, self-business, self-spirituality, self-desires, etc., truly reign supreme over everyone and often, if not even G-d! I am constantly amazed at the selfishness we all seem to possess; some extraordinarily more than others. Yet, many claim to love G-d, an unselfish Savior as His disciple; nevertheless, the depravity of human selfishness within their being radiates like an armored shield.  My eyes and heart are wide open to You!only-love-can-heal-poster

Human love takes us on all kinds of adventures…some great, some disastrous; some thrilling, some boring! Still, we all need to feel some kind of love, connection, togetherness. We were created out of love to love.  The question, love that hurts or love that is based on fantasy or selfishness, is this really love? Hum, I think not!

There is only One true love and only One who will never leave, forsake, lie, use, manipulate, or exude selfishness, and that is the One who knew us before the world was even formed. Teach us to love without selfish motives.

Yep, some say love is blind, and yeah, love can be blinding. Love, human love can take you down dark alleys into dangerous terrain. But, the love of the Creator, who tells His story daily,  who shows His face hundreds of times in various ways, and who longs to spend time with us, is the only love we can depend on.  All else is a wish, a maybe, or a hope. Open our eyes and hearts to experience Your love.

#JustMusing,

Dr. Dee

I read a story about a man who watched an eagle fly over in the Himalayas during a storm, eagle-night-stormand expecting the eagle to crash under the conditions of the weather, he was quite surprised by what he saw. He noticed that as the storm raged, the eagle set his wings in such a manner as to fly high above the storm.  The eagle did not attempt to bear the storm, nor did he attempt to fight the storm.  The eagle set his wings as to rise above the storm to higher heights.  Such as it is with Believers. When the storms of life are wreaking havoc in our homes, marriages, finances, relationships, health and more, just like the eagle, we should set our wings (hearts) on the promises of G-d, and allow Him to help us weather the storms of life. We ought to allow G-d to take us to higher heights. (Isaiah: 40:31)

Few readers know my history, but I have had my share of storms.  In the midst of my challenges, I have not always acted in a G-dly manner. Imagine that! Yet, I despise confrontations or anything which disrupts harmony, even though I may be the problem! Still, I realize that challenges, conflicts, confrontations are a part of life, and even necessary in order to change and grow. I have come to realize that even in my rightness or self-righteousness whether justified or not, pales in comparison to the redemptive work G-d provides through our Savior.  G-d has not called me to respond in my self-righteousness, stubbornness, and/or selfishness, He has called me to respond to Him with love and obedience.

Hum, well, how do I accomplish this feat? Simply, through Messiah, prayer, obedience and practice. Is it easy? A resounding NO! Have I accomplished, always responding with love, kindness, goodness, mercy, generosity…you know the answer. Believe me, it is easier to say I am a Believer, than to live and smell like a Believer. So what’s next? Do I give up?  Heaven forbid!

Heaven beckons me to repeagle-above-storm-dayent, and continue in the way of the Cross and Resurrection, which exemplifies love, self-renunciation, and embraces the character of the Father, as was displayed through Yeshua. Will this happen overnight? Again, a rhetorical question! It is a moment by moment conscious decision of commitment and effort.

My point, know that storms will destroy you and/or your family, if you fail to embrace G-d’s way. But, if you see yourself like G-d’s eagle with Him as the wind under your wings, you will weather any storm, and soar to greater heights in Him. It may be a slow flight or even a delay, but He promises He will be with us. (Hebrews 13:5; Deuteronomy 31:6)

Are you in the midst of a storm? Look up to the heavens, and know G-d will see you through, because of His great love for you, if you allow Him. Have you just come out of a storm? Then, look up to the heavens, and be grateful for G-d’s protection, lessons and/or provisions. Haven’t had a storm lately? Brace yourself, one might soon be on the way. How will you handle the eminent storms of life? As always, you choose. eagle-with-verse

#DocsMusing,

Dr. Dee

Blessed Appointments

These are the appointed times of YHWH, set-apart gatherings, which you are to proclaim at their appointed times. Leviticus 23:4

biblical-feasts

G-d, Himself set appointments for His people. The Hebrew word translated for both appointed feasts and appointed season in this verse is moed, plural moedim.

These annual feasts were set by G-d as times for Him and His people to meet in a distinctive way. Under the Original Covenant, the observation of these feasts were a requirement for the nation of Israel.

Now, as I write, we are in the season for the Fall Feasts. They are Rosh Hashanah – head of the year, and also known as Yom Teruah or Feast of Trumpets; Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement, beginning nine days after Rosh Hashanah; and Sukkot – or Feast of Tabernacles beginning four days after Yom Kippur.

Many Believers in Messiah pay little to no attention to these feasts, and fail to observe them.  Therefore, I believe miss out on the rich heritage on which our faith is built. The coming or returning of our Messiah is detailed in these feasts and petitions for the undivided attention of each Believer. These feasts were revealed by G-d for His own particular reasons, and through them all Believers can be blessed. Some theologians would argue that we are under no obligation to keep G-d’s appointed times according to the Renewed Covenant; I would beg to differ based on the model Yeshua (Jesus) left for us to emulate, especially since the word declares, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8) However, be clear, these feast do not take the place of our salvation in Messiah, they are practical and blessed ways to see prophetic implications and show Him our love.

Each moed represents a blessed appointment with the Father, if one’s heart is to seek and honor Him. These biblical feasts are a celebration of G-d’s appointments and a source of spiritual enrichment, reflection, repentance and redirection. Each feast allows us to stop from our daily routines, and draw near to G-d in a fresh and special way.

yom-kippurThe ultimate meaning of each moed is found in Messiah Yeshua, and to revel in these feasts helps us to understand Him as the vivid prophetic Savior of the world. Consider these two examples: Yeshua was the Pesach Lamb (Passover Lamb), the Lamb of G-d who took away the sins of the World. (John 1:29) Yeshua was/is our atonement who has reconciled us with the Father, Yom Kippur. (Romans 3:23-26) Our faith, I believe, is strengthen as our love deepens and our hearts overflow with gratitude, as we realize all G-d had planned for us prior to the foundation of the world. I believe, that when we commit to these feasts as a practical application of our worship to the King, we draw near to the Holy One and experience His majesty.

I believe as we commit to G-d’s appointed times, it allows us to rest from the busyness, stresses and distractions of daily life. Each feast, as well as the weekly Shabbat (Sabbath) is designed for our rest, and pause from the cares of this existence, as we focus on Him, and His greatness. G-d’s Shabbat is designed for our physical and spiritual refreshment, and is one of His moedim.

I believe when we commit to G-d’s appointed times, we encounter His glory in a profound way, which nurtures us to become more like Him. Since, He set up the appointment, it seems to me that we should meet Him at His appointed times, as well as each day.

This is a very special and consecrated time of year for those of us who choose to believe that G-d does not change, and attempt to honor Him by observing His appointed times. Our Creator, G-d has set the appointed time, why would you choose to miss the appointment and miss out on His blessings?

#DocsMusing,

Dr. Dee

happy-rosh-hashanahL’Shana Tova! Blessings for a good and sweet New Year!

May your New Year be filled with the sweetness and prosperity found only in Yeshua’s (Jesus) abundant grace.

Welcome the Jewish Year 5777!

Rosh Hashanah or the Feast of Trumpets – rings in the Jewish New Year with 100 blasts of the shofar. shofar It begins the High Holy Days and is a time for celebration, as well as reflection.

As Jewish people the world over consider the coming year, they pray for G-d’s forgiveness, and that He will “seal” them in the Book of Life for the year ahead. Year by year, they pray to be acceptable in His sight.

As Believers, in Yeshua, we have been brought near to G-d through the righteousness of Messiah and we are sealed in the Lamb’s Book of Life. (Ephesians 1:13, 2:13, Revelation 13:6) Let us rejoice in the salvation of our King and L-rd, reflect on all His goodness and tender mercies, and let us pray for each other,  for the Shalom (peace) of Jerusalem and the world. black-man-shofar

L’Shana Tova!

Dr. Dee

Hand of G-d

When I was working on my Masters at Luther Rice Seminary, one of my professors insisted we memorize Psalm 139 as one of the requirements for the course. Later, during my quiet time, I was compelled to reread and pray this Psalm. Briefly, let me share one of my impressions.

Psalm 139 is a profound psalm, which speaks to the sovereignty of G-d, i.e., He is all-knowing and ever-present! He is subject over all things and all things are subject unto Him. There are several lessons we can draw from this particular Psalm, but for the purposes of this piece, I want to focus on the hand of G-d. If you read vs. 7-12, you will notice that David’s first response was to flee or run runner-femalefrom G-d. Nevertheless, where could he hide for wherever he went, G-d was there! However, in v 10, David realized that G-d is not trying to entrap Him, but to lead Him into His presence.

So it is with us! Many of us feel whether justified or not, that we are trapped in negative situations and/or conditions irrespective of the source of the negativity. Our first impulse similar to King David is to flee, run, escape, hide, or take flight without consulting or seeking G-d’s will. Often times, we look only at the natural circumstances, and fail to see G-d’s hand in the mix! And, if you are a believer in G-d, with faith in Mashiach, (Messiah), then G-d is in the mix!

Therefore, like David, we need to focus on the hand of G-d ,and follow His directive in whatever situation envelops us, and from there, do what G-d says to do! This is extremely heartdifficult at times, because it means dying to self, and living unto Mashiach. However, if we could only remember that it is G-d’s love, which draws us to Him, and that He will use whatever He feels necessary to get our attention; we would weather pessimistic conditions in our life a lot fairer.

Ultimately, our response is to notice and obey His leading. Living in this world is tough sometimes, but in Mashiach, we can be assured that His hand is leading us and not entrapping us! Therefore, be encouraged, persevere, persist in loving G-d and others, and prove your faith by good works, study His Word, and share the message of our Savior. Finally, know that G-d loves you and desires your/our undivided attention.

mountain

#DocsMusing,

Dr. Dee

Uncertainty

My L-rd* G-d, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor, do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so. But, I believe that the desire to please you, does, in fact, please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And, I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. (Prayer composed by Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk)

Recently, I was watching an episode of West Wing on Netflix, and I heard one of the characters in the program paraphrase the prayer above. I was captivated by the prayer and decided to find out if the prayer was fiction or if in fact, had someone really composed this prayer. In the Netflix version, the character says, I always don’t know the right thing to do, L-rd, but, I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

 ocean-waveThis prayer is very intriguing, because it speaks to our weaknesses and our heart motives as believers in the Most High G-d. I find it very interesting that life is often challenging and difficult at best; and yet, most fulfilling as well. And, still, often times we, at least me, has no idea where I am going. My desires and dreams seem to keep pointing me in a certain direction, but the course and the ultimate goal is an uncertainty.

Many might say this sentiment exudes a lack of faith, determination, a certain grit, if you will. And, though dreams, desires and goals are necessary and a productive force as we travel this life, the end results, prior to the end results are completely unknown with absolute certainty! I propose that if the end were absolutely known, the entire sense of celebration during the process and  at the end, as well as the need for faith would be a waste of time.

G-d, however, did not call us to know exactly how things would turn out in this life with utter cast-iron certainty. goals-picHe did call us to trust Him with our dreams, desires, needs and/or goals. He has called us to love Him with the desire to please Him, even in our uncertainty of what lies ahead.

I believe in G-d and choose to embrace His subjection over me. He has proven His love, provision, protection over and over again in my life, the life of my family, friends and even those I do not know or dislike. The fact that you are reading this blog, proves that you are still here for a reason. Now, you may not believe in the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Yeshua, but irrespective of that point, He is subject over all things and all things are subject under Him.

My point, as a G-d fearer, I feel all the things the Word of G-d tells me not to feel at times. Yet, my true heart’s desire is to please G-d and be an imitator of Yeshua (Jesus). My flesh is weak, and though He is greater in me than he who is in the world, more times than not, my weakness rules! And, yet I always desire to please Adonai (L-rd). My desire is to please Him and to do His will.

When Thomas Merton wrote this prayer, supposedly he was in a dark place. I have experienced many dark places, and sometimes darkness still nudges at my soul as I navigate this life. Many of us understand the depths of darkness, and yet, we grapple for light-bridgethe light knowing it is our only hope of salvation in this life, and the life to come. G-d who sees all and does whatever He pleases (Ps. 115:3), I believe, understands us far beyond our ability to understand ourselves – thus our need for a Savior. Merton’s prayer exudes a sense of pure humility and dependence on the Creator for guidance in all matters of life, as well as a plea for understanding his motives.

We sometimes exemplify our false sense of being in control to no avail; and, thus, we are amazed when things go awry in our lives. For those of us calling ourselves believers, whether it is by the name Christian, Messianic, Followers of the Way, G-d Fearers, Believers or some other name, our first response is to love Him and desire to please Him.

So today, as I ramble on and deeply consider the nuances of this prayer, I ask you to do the same. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place this morning, because I don’t know for certain where I’m going, but I do know WHO to put my trust in.

#JustMusing

Dr. Dee

Note two things:

  • The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One true One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment. The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.
  • Photos taken from Fresh Paint and program purchased.

 

 

 

 

My-History

Recently, I found my journal from 2009 as I was watching my grandson.  As I began reading “my-history”, I was amazed at how far G-d[1] has brought me!  Those of you, who know me very well, have some sense of the horrific pain, I endured because of a martial separation and eventual divorce, which began to unfold from many years earlier, with the official separation on July 25, 2009. past future road sign

However, this blog is not to bring up the past in any negative way!  The purpose of this writing is to praise G-d for how far He has brought me, and to thank Him for His healing love and hopefully to encourage you, my reader!  As I read my thoughts from the past, truly emotional vomit, I am astonished at how depressed and miserable I was at that time in my life.  Some of my entries seemed as though I was reading about a strange woman I had never met. Some of the entries of events were of things I do not even remember!  Imagine that! When G-d does a trans-formative work in our hearts, we truly will forget some of the horrific things we may have endured.

My heart was so very broken during that period in my life, I could not see the new beginning and the new life G-d had waiting for me!  All I saw was misery, pain, sadness, gloom and doom!  When I became single, I was so scared, and worried about everything that my head, heart and body ached what seemed like all the time.  Yet, few knew of the great agony oozing in my soul for so many months, because I hid behind my smiles, laughs, my false exterior.  There was no need to carry my hurt for the world to see….because the world could not help me.  Nor did I want to be the topic of gossip, so I appeared okay as my heart bled living within my shattered world once again. FreshPaint-brokeness

Then, as time passed, I sensed G-d telling me to get it together, lose weight, prepare for the husband He was sending and prepare for ministry.  So slowing, I began to date, work on my weight, and spend time in prayer and writing in my journal. Now, I feel great, I look great, and I am ready for G-d’s choice (husband) to step into my life.  I am also ready for ministry, as G-d has concretely demonstrated to me that He has made me that Proverbs 31 woman by His Spirit in spite of my many sins and errors!  Am I perfect, far from it…but I am ready to be what He has destined for me to be.

In closing, I read a quote from David Bryant’s book, Messengers of Hope…. to hope in G-d is not to escape from reality; rather it is to have the courage to look reality straight in the eyes.  The MOMENT we hold now is not our final destiny in Mashiach (Christ)!  This quote is so profound, because no hurt or situation is greater than the healing, restorative and redemptive work of our Almighty. There is healing, newness and wholeness in our Savior, if we hold onto Him during our times of difficulty, and His promises for those who trust in Him.

Please know and believe that G-d will be with you as you go through whatever it is that may be weighting heavy on your heart as you read this blog.  He will see you through and He does hear our prayers.  He is the Resurrection and the Life. I am so happy that I serve the Living G-d whose arms are not too short to save His people or His ear deaf to our cries!

FreshPaint-resurrection life

Be encouraged today, and know that this moment is not your final destination in Messiah. This truly will pass. However, you decide if you will be better or bitter on the other side of your drama.

The choice is always your call.

DocsMusings,

Dr. Dee

**********************

[1]The “o” is missing for G-d and L-rd as a sign of respect and honor, for He is the Most Holy G-d, the One True One, the Creator, and Sustainer of the universe, and He is the Uncaused Cause. By leaving the “o” out of G-d and/or L-rd, it makes the distinction that I am not speaking of an idol, or any other entity, which uses the name “god”. This writer is referring to the one true G-d who revealed Himself to Moses as the I AM. In addition, it is my belief this is one of the ways, I can fulfill the first commandment.  The first commandment commanded believers to honor the L-rd’s name. Therefore, by eliminating the “o”, His name (HaShem, G-d) is honored, if the paper were thrown away, burned or destroyed in some manner, as well as for the benefit of online readers to reiterate Who He Is. It is this author’s intention to honor G-d in every area, in traditional and non-traditional ways as directed and led by G-d’s Breath – the Holy Spirit.